Lemon zest springs from tea bags.
Freshly filtered boiling water awaiting me
to introduce it to its future best friend.
A staggering aroma flooding the kitchen.
It’s a new adventure, these Mondays.
Preparing myself for a sip of delight
knowing there’s an enormous chance
I’ll dance around the living room
with utter disgust for what I’ve just tried.
Stood waiting on the shoreline
my fingers grasping as many rocks
that my aching bones can handle.
Patiently waiting for the tide
to reach itself out and consume me
until I can attempt to walk myself home.
The weightlessness of the abyss
that I find myself trespassing in
as the demons swim past with their teeth.
The lack of colour fighting from the sky
as if maybe it too had given up on you.
You're the deepest ocean in the world.
One day I'll swim the Atlantic
and drown my sorrow.
Give me brick, clay and
the willpower to stop my
muscles from aching as I
have a lot left to claw
my way into.
I won't be scared by
the absence of the sun.
I won't be scared by
the unfamiliar record
in the background.
The blank stare into the
openness of the future.
Enlighten me with the
iridescent colours I have
longed for that don't
represent the ones I know.
I don't know you.
I don't know this.
I'm desperate to throw
all of my woes of the edge
and into the chasm below.
Hearing the echo of my own voice
dissipating into the distance
as if it just didn't really
want to exist to begin with.
The jagged mountain range
and snow melting beneath me
being a subtle reminding factor
there could be a thousand things
more important than my next step.
I am not bound by my emotion.
Something that isn't even real.
The blood keeping me alive
feeding my mind with these
predefined perceptions that
constantly influence my skin
to raise when I hear your name.
I won't be bound by my emotion.
Fixating on the little light
left behind my eyelids
from where you’ve suddenly
turned off the bedside lamp
as if they all just want
to represent all the things
I look too much into.
Don't say goodbye.
I'd rather not entitle you
with the opportunity
of something I might end up
replaying over and over.
So I'll pay the price
of never knowing instead.