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Gabi Jun 2013
i'm so afraid, i'm so scared.
the future.
a place of fortune, pleasure, milk and honey.
or a place of despair, resentment, forget and loss.

i'm not ready to be an adult; i barely noticed adolescence
creeping up on me.
the future is terrifying, the future is wicked.
it can be changed, although i am certain of mine.

i see broken dreams shattered on the floor,
scattered like pieces of glass piercing the soul of your heavy boots.
i see depression due to the lost friends who once meant so much.
the people you could barely imagine your life without.

i can see the world's future with our wars and disease.
our ****** and hate, greed and selfishness,
the world will die in fire and anguish,
before we even have the chance to **** one another.

i'm so afraid, i'm so scared.
the future is terrifying, the future is wicked.
all i ask is happiness and to not be forgotten.
given that, i will take on the future with every hopeful thought.
Gabi Jun 2013
i get money then blow it all,
buying cheap beer and cheap drugs.

it's sad if you think about it,
reality is so dull we need these things.

i'm scared about the future,
so i run and hide in the night.

first time i felt anything real,
it was thrown back in my face.

i want to grow up.
i don't want to grow up.

i'm trapped forever.
i don't want to be free.

i want to wake up,
but i'm already asleep.
Gabi Jun 2013
He doesn't like us,
he never wanted us.
He thought we were foolish,
so we experienced his anguish.
He hates us,
he still doesn't want us.
He strikes us with sorrow,
yet we treat him as a hero.
He detestes us,
he wants to be rid of us.
He is the worshipped,
his revenge has erupted.
He kills us,
a thousand times he kills us.
He leaves us at a dead end,
and love he is yet to send.
Gabi Jun 2013
frequently i choke on my beer,
i've drunk too much or i'm trying to forget.

sitting in a field getting high with friends,
feeling free and trapped all at the same time.

staring out of the bus window,
praying for death or a new life.

the night gives us the freedom,
but our insignificance grows.

i am the **** of the earth,
thrown onto this world out of luck and anger.

i want to feel alive,
but i'm afraid of the consequences.

living our dreams would be a dream come true,
but they're just as pointless as the present.

my own friends hate my guts,
i don't care at all yet i care so much.

it's moments before i arrive home,
proceed to live my dull little life.

we're so alone in every way,
and God certainly doesn't care.
Gabi Jun 2013
You're not the same person I met,
a year or so ago at that party.
You're not the same person I knew,
when we wondered all night around the city.
You're not the same person I fell in love with,
when we learnt of all the little details about each other.
You're not the same person whose heart I broke,
with my indecision of a future.

I'm not the same person you met,
with my defences up even stronger now.
I'm not the same person you knew,
when I used to laugh and smile at everything you did.
I'm not the same person you fell in love with,
my heart is colder and more bitter than ever before.
And I am not the same person whose heart you broke,
when you gave your love to someone else.
It's corny, but deal with it.

— The End —