Live to change lives
Die and you're remembered
Be Remembered

A moment of clarity is still valid,
Drunk or not.

There is no sense in fearing death,
For life it's self is to experience living,
Death is not an experience of life merely an experience of death,
So in turn, life never ends,
Only death begins,
Be happy in the knowledge of immortality,
Dance not until your life ends.
But when your death begins.

You'll never know I wrote this
So What's the point?

Every day is devoted to distracting myself
Until it ends...

I only wanted to fix you
But you seem to enjoy being broken
If that's true I'm leaving
My heart vulnerable when open

We could have had something special
Taken the good with the bad
But you just make them the same
And smile when you're mad

Shouting and screaming
Throwing plates after blame
Using *** as a pacifier
Shouting my name
Anger beaten back
To where it came
Ready to build up
And we start it again

Being broken isnt a way out
A reason for everything
An excuse to shout
You can let your heart open
I know I can fix you
Unless you enjoy being broken

STEP ONE:
Deep breath,  head back, and sigh,
Eyes closed, more breathing, cant cry,
Fists clenched, nails in palm, Shaking,
Scream held,  pain overcomes, i try.

STEP TWO:
Repeat STEP ONE four to five times a day,
Ask for answers, maybe pray,
Beg for answers, give god blame,
Plead for a response,  from anyone,
Then repeat STEP ONE again.

STEP THREE:
If STEP ONE AND TWO have failed,
Fight the thought of a nature derailed,
A soul impaled on the cross and nailed,
Find a quit place to bail,
And scream, and shout and f**king wail.

STEP FOUR:
Once previous steps complete,
Go to bed and hide in secret,
Close the eyes and fail at sleep,
And a new day dawns and STEP ONE repeat.

I seem to be collecting hearts...

Some gained unintentionally,
But I worked hard for most,
A few are a bit warn now,
And I broke some too,

If I have yours and you'd like it back,
Just let me know, although,
There's no guarantee, as,
It may be yours that I'm currently using,

I don't mean to keep it from you,
But my heart was taken long ago,
I'm just trying to find one that fits,
So I can be happy again soon.

I've met "the one"
Please tell her she has too

So...if I was better looking.
You'd talk to me, I'd make you laugh, you'd sleep with me.
If if I was, better dressed,
You'd talk to me, I'd make you laugh, you'd sleep with me.
If I had more money,
You'd talk to me, I'd make you laugh, you'd sleep with me.

But, you know what?  I could be all these things but you don't deserve me.

If you had anything. Be anything. Do anything. You'd only want things not me.

When the silence falls and I'm left with my thoughts,
and all I can hear is your voice and calls,
I miss your sound and I miss your tone,
I close my eyes and I'm never alone.

We are all immortal,
Until death proves us wrong.

Don't mistake survival for happiness,
Read behind the eyes,
Read between the lines,
Don't ask for an open mind,
What's inside isn't all it seems,

Take the smile as a gospel truth,
Accept normality as a guide of peace
Be appeased the simple things are easy,
The daily routine is routinely pacifying.

All I ask as I carry on keeping on,
Remember the fight I engaged to be here,
To remain here, to stand not flee,
I will not ask for concern, just remember.
Please just remember I am still fighting.

Does anyone hear the footsteps of a lone man walking,
Hear the battle of his conscious and conscience that rages against his desires and temptations,
He hides a secret from the world,
It's easier for him to be locked away unable to hurt others,
They can't see the beast that is caged behind his eyes,
If they did they'd run, if they don't they should,
Unable to control the natural urge he had to burry the key long ago,
Keep the arm extended, let people believe they know.
But they don't, they can't, he will keep the animal out of sight,
Don't ask him to release it, you'll end up regretting it and getting bit.

If only I had the time
To use all the time I have left
I'd use it only on you.

I feel something is missing,
Or lost, did I have it in the beginning?
I can't be succeeding, this feeling certainly isn't winning,
And even my grinning must come at a cost,
I've not paid the piper as such, but when he arrives he'll leave and take the lot,
Everything I've got is at stake,
Make no mistake, I take the hate seriously and leave my soul as bait,
But I can't relate to the feeling of calm,
Sweat holds my palm and leads my arm to the hot pool of harm,
This is no yarn I spin only the wheel,
The chain holds my heel keeping the steps from stepping on what's real.
It's time to heal but what is lost I've not found,
My flesh torn by hells hound, the paw pounds upon the ground whilst the deserted town fails to sing.
Am I lost or just missing.

From mountain to ocean.
What an amazing world surrounds us.

My soul is not tortured like the skin of a man alone in the searing heat of the dessert.
My mind does not crumble into the rubble of a post war city.
My body does not shake it's self into a shaken, splattered, spineless sorbet.
I am happy, not like a bird in spring but happy as I can be.
My mind is composed, not like a master archer but composed all the same.
My angst is not kept in a box of self disbelief wrapped in a ribbon of doubt and despair.
I am, me, happy to be me. I have my issues which occasionally need tissues but nonetheless and nevertheless and nonethemore and alwaysthemost I am happy

Me: do you believe in life after death?
Me: no, but I wonder what happens when there's nothing left
Me: so what happens when you take your last breath?
Me: you decide if your high reaches depth.

Me: what about love, is it real or fake?
Me: you tell me your heart is a lake
Me: you fill it with emotion that's deemed by a state?
Me: it insist you're nothing until another's heart you take.

Me: I don't understand, are you pro life?
Me: of course there's no honour in death by the knife
Me: so what keeps you alive when pondering strife?
Me: my life, my kids and love for my wife

Me: so you say you're depressed but you seem fine to me
Me: but the face of the facts are not as clean
Me: and what makes you as positive as seems
Me: I live with depression it doesn't control me.

My cook is late with dinner and I hear no clanging of pans,
She's usually prompt with dinner be it soup, steak or hams,
Now my butler won't answer when I ring the bell,
He usually attendants swiftly now I begin to dwell,
CLEANER,  CLEANER I yell and I scream,
WHERE ARE YOU ALL? I'M HUNGRY WHERE'S TEA?
Beside my pipe I notice a slip,
And written using my finest pen tip,
Is a note so absurd it reeks of a mockery,
Their ****** syndicate has won the lottery.

Sitting alone is the worse,
Thinking too long let's my mind burst,
My soul is dead in the back of the hearse,
I killed it,
Drank too much, my blood I spilled it,
I had the opportunity not to lose but I willed it,
It must be me,
The only common denominator is my destiny,
The ***** procrastinator is what I aim to be,
Can't cope with finishing,  what if I'm judged on the end entity,
Instead, I will set up to fail, aim to quit, but it's ok, at least I'll succeed at being nothing.

As I sit and wait and wish,
For the girl I wish to sit,
And wait and wish and kiss with me,
I sit I wait and wish.

Smiles make it all worth while,
Even when the day has tried to break me down,
The hours that have passed since I felt ok are forgotten with a simple act,
Even though time can ware and I forget,
In no time at all you remind me with one simple motion,
I have started to keep a picture on my person,
Like a soldier away in the darkest hour,
I look at it longingly and the smile lifts me,
To look at your smile is the single most pacifying view I can behold,
It fills me with joy and happiness and I thank you for blessing me with it.

Some stains are hard to get rid of,
That's life.

Tick after tock after tick after tock,
The face of the clock watches on with arrogance,  
Designed to remind us of the time we're wasting,
A smile from three to nine stretches over his face,
Each minute counted with with a strike of his hand,
An open fist of judgement protecting his noble numbered main,
He calls out when another hour has dwindled merrily by,
He knows it means we have an hour less,
He knows he will remain to haunt who's left.

If I could say the words I wanted,
It would go something like
I love you, I'm sorry I can't be everything you needed
I wanted to, I did
But I don't feel good enough to try,
I could pretend to be him, maybe last a few years,
But essentially I'd end up failing and you'd be left, alone, wanting, for somebody that would give you the world.
I wish I could. I do but life has not played out that way.
All I have is words, and I hope you listen to them, believe, and understand them, I wish it were more, but they're all I have to give ***

A tornado chains my stomach to my heart.
The bottom is tight, knotted,  spinning.
The top rages in frenzy, erratic and destructible.
The aftermath is a demolished shell of a man.

To think of how much I want you now
Is worthy of an act so ridiculous, so absurd
That only I will do this for you as long as you stand.
To cast out, dismiss and discard a daily symbol from our ABC again and again which is no cinch I can warn you.
I could hand you a magical, linguistical and **** right amazing work of art to gain your insight into how much my soul is yours,
but that holds no fun and is, in fact, a bit boring.

For you that can not gain a point of what I am trying to fix.
E entirely equals every everlasting effectionate emotion

Though the dark covers the eyes
The vision's still clear

The words we speak are not our last,
Slow down and take a breathe,
The steps we take will be followed by more,
Stop a while and enjoy what's left,
We have time to sit, run and walk,
We have time look, listen and talk,
Embrace the race and walk the course,
Time we own the rest is worse,
Don't wish a kiss that's made for then,
Hold now as you can't begin again.

A simple sample of a symbol used to approve the work of another.
But who was first to fist the quill and downward pull and upward ping?
Mr Tick of Tuscany?  Mrs Tick of Tijuana?  Or master Tick the ticklers son who tagged his type with ticking fun?
The actual answer is I'm sure a bore and a slip of the tip made the tick a score.

In time that we have
You lead me to the pool of life
Fill my heart with love
I will follow your high
My album of completion
Is filled with pictures of you
The book of words I hold
Speaks volumes of your breath
When you hold me
You hold all I am
When you speak
You whisper to my soul
I'll keep you safe
If you hold me tight
My strength comes from your warmth
You're warmth burns from my strength
You take me whole
I'll take you half full
Love can break walls
I'll build you up
We have each other
It's all we need

I am what perfect is,
When perfect is not enough.