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I want to be a princess,
that's all I ever ask,
When I meet someone I only hope,
their promises will last.

But things always go the same way,
like a flower plucked when ripe,
Relationships they dwindle,
and lose all hope of life!

So, is it really worth it?
I find i'm questioning me!
A partnership's not destined,
it's the single life for me!

All I know is I wanna feel,
like someones number one,
The first thing that they think of,
and the last when the day is done.
I want to be their Princess,
it's the little things
that matter,
like phone calls right out of the blue,
for a cosy, loving natter!

I don't think that what I'm asking for,
is too much, to be true.
Cos, it's the little things that really count,
when someone declares they love you.
What can I say?  I do want to be someone Princess!
'Why me?',
I say when I wake up,
And pain is all I feel.
Running through me like a current,
From my head down to my toes.
First there's the pain in my head,
Banging ******* that big 'ol drum,
When I go to move,
Here it comes!
My bones they burn in anger,
Putting up a fight,
'Wanna move?' It says,
'Ain't gonna happen!
Gonna keep you awake all night!
Gonna turn on the pain in your body,
So that with every move you make,
You'll know,
I'm there to remind you,
Your life I'm gonna take!'
It says,
'So you think you wanna live normal?
Get up, go to work and have fun?
That's what you think!
Gonna make sure you can't even run!
Make sure you have pain to remind you,
That I'm there,
Just waiting to jump!
Jump out when you least expect it!'
'Why?' I ask,
'What have I done?
I've been kind, been good and been thoughtful,
Given love to everyone.
Helped others that really need it,
Been there, for everyone.
So why when at last I'm happy,
Is there pain to stop all my fun?
GO AWAY!'  I tell you,
'GO TO HELL, you've got the wrong one!'
I will fight you with every breath in my body,
Push you down till I feel you no more.
Send you back to the land filled with fire,
Squash you down,
Pound you into the floor!
Gonna get it,
You son of a gun!
Don't think that you're gonna stop ME!
Cos this time,
Listen hard, can you hear me?
I think this poem says it all really!  Most of my days start like this and in truth can stay like it all day.  Writing really does help me focus and push out those negative thoughts and feelings in preparation for a productive day ahead.... hopefully!
I wonder 'Why'?
As you walk by,
You stop and stare at me?
Is it my hair?  Some thing on my face?
Is there something wrong with me?

Maybe it's the clothes I wear,
After all,
I'm somewhat unique!
That's not it, there's something else
And it's really bugging me!

Friends say,
'It's your bright blue eyes', captivating them,
Others say,
'It's your glimmering smile'
'They just can't help but stare'!

Ah ha!  But now I think I know,
What's making them stop and stare.
I think it's because I'm not upright,
I'm sitting in a chair!

That's it!  I'm sure!
Thank goodness for that!
There is nothing wrong with me!
So I'll keep on smiling with shiny eyes,
So clear for all to see, that,
If I'm beaming, relaxed and happy,
Then why the heck can't they be?!

That's me!
Being in a wheelchair and having your face level with everyone butts is bad enough but being stared at is frustrating, just another thing we have to get used to!
Your eyes are staring at me,
As I'm
Gazing back at you,
And the longing look within them
As you wonder what to do.
I run my fingers through your hair
And see your face light up,
Imagining your hand was there,à
Your soft, and gentle touch.

And as the night draws into day,
And sunlight does appear,
The tiredness within us
Thin air,
I reach on out to touch you,
But feel you I cannot,
You're just an image
A memory time forgot.

So I draw back deep within myself,
And search deep down again,
For the memories of loving,
To ease
My lonesome pain.
I was in hospital when this came to me one night.  To me it reflects the loss of youth, how you look into the mirror and don't recognise the person looking back.
No one knows how I really feel
deep down inside,
If you took,
a look,
inside me,
It's a car wreck you would find!

I know,
that on the outside,
There a shiny joyful soul,
But take a look much deeper,
There's a massive, gaping hole
That's been pulled and torn and shredded by
Tiny shards of glass,
And barbed wire and knives,
And poles and
Ragged planks of wood,
I'm all beaten up and torn apart
All ****** up inside
You'd see yourself with keener eyes,
If you lifted up the hood!

Next time that you ask me,
'Dawn, how have you been'?
Make sure you look much deeper
Than the shiny outer gleam!

Don't be shocked by what you see inside,
It's been there for some time,
Hiding there,
Just out of view,
'Till now the secrets been mine!

But I wonder how many of you,
Out there can relate?
How many happy faces reading this can feel that ache?
My personal experience with pain and a rare life changing illness.

— The End —