we were bestfriends instantly,
it took me just seconds to choose you,
and only a minute to realize,
i’d do anything to never lose you.

from our first conversation,
right up to our very last,
i loved you every second,
but our love is in the past.

i’ll never forget your secrets,
or how we’d lay together to rest,
i won’t forget your hugs,
or how we’d share our every waking breath.

its very tragic how you left me,
you promised you’d never leave,
but now you live so freely,
and i cant remember how to breathe.

i forgive you for breaking my trust,
for breaking my heart and my soul too,
i guess now its time to move on,
but oh babe, how i miss you.

your words ring in my ear,
the sound of your voice lingering,
waiting to cut me open at my most vulnerable.

your words are like silk,
soft and smooth,
but a bold statement.

they surround me,
wrapping and weaving themselves into my skin,
and suffocating me.

I can still hear your voice,
the accent and the commanding tones,
even though you were the gentlest guy I knew.

my ears bleed,
the ringing of your voice,
its driving me mad.

i wish i could control myself.
i wish i didn't get attached.
i wish i had never met you.

when i was younger,
i wanted to be beautiful.
i wanted to be in pageants,
and win all the awards.

but now that im older,
all i want is to be smart,
to stun people with my intelligence,
and to steal hearts with my words.

i want to be noticed,
i want my voice to be heard,
and i want to change the world.

i want to travel,
i want to help the kids who really need it.
i want to have people stop and listen when i speak,
i want to make a difference.

i want to prove im not just a pretty face.
i want people to know,
im more than just my looks.

i stand in front of a mirror,
my eyes scream for help.
a sharp reflection staring back at me,
i dont dare open my mouth.

in the mirror i see a girl,
perfect hair and luscious lips.
that cant be me,
she has nice skin and curvy hips.

a crooked smile,
she fixed upon her face.
she's trying so hard,
to make it not look fake.

she wears a long sleeve,
tucked into loose fitting jeans.
she thought she was ready for the world,
but society is mean.

you haven't even left yet,
but i'm already missing you.
6 773 kilometers,
Thats an ocean to pass through.

its only been 8 months,
but it feels like my whole life.
now you're going home,
and we've run out of time.

maybe our paths will cross,
or maybe we won't meet again.
maybe we'll write more books,
or maybe this is our chapters end.

these months have been good,
you became my closest friend.
but now my heart is broken,
and i'm not sure that it will mend.

i don't want you to go,
sure we can call and we can text.
but its not the same,
cause who knows when ill see you next.

I wish I could escape,
this awful life of mine,
shape a different fate,
in another time.

what's the point of god,
sitting upon his mighty spot?
if when he looks down,
he turns my pain up a notch.

so now I sit in silence,
upon this high up rock,
I wonder if I jumped,
would anyone be shocked?

I'm often pushed to the side,
i feel like I'm insane,
so when I take my leap,
the world should hang its head in shame.