Unselfish itself is difficult
Knowing the right thing to do
While weighing the best for you
is different, in understanding about
What other people might needs

They said it was easy
No it’s not
Knowing the pattern right in the eyes
Seeing all the clues and cliches
is like, knowing the difference
But blinded by all the merry

“Life never easy”
No one wants to admit that
For truly

But I do believe one thing
When there’s a way
There is a way
If there’s no way
Make your own way
If not, find the people
To show you the way

And here I sit
in this old restaurant,
-- i wonder what history this table holds
eating food gone cold.

It's 10 til close
and I'm that *******
who refuses to leave.
-- they wonder what i'm avoiding by being here

My eyes glued
to a laptop I can't read,
they've long glossed over,
and I came here to work.
--i wonder if they watch and ponder me
I should probably go

All I can think of is sleep
but I flinch at the thought of
what lies behind closed lids.
-- they wonder when they'll get to go home
10 minutes have passed

She lives her life with tears in her eyes.
From day to day, tears in her eyes.

No one can tell—
she hides them so well—
with bangs down,
and a smile on her face.

                   ~              

The general disposition
that showing emotion
makes you weak.

Why should she show them anyways?
When no one can make her feel better
    and no one understands
the pain in her heart that resides there from day to day.

It originates from small things that bug her
                       to things people say—
and the fact that they just don't understand.
                                          No one understands.

It's always the same,
they get defensive
when she tells them the truth
and how she really feels.

but she's so tired of hiding and pretending to be ok

I've seen you cry
I hear it in your voice
The way each word
weighs 1000 tons

From late night calls
to drowning yourself in music
I see you sitting there
headphones on your ears
and sunglasses to hide your eyes
The air is a void around you
touching (hurting) no one but yourself
although you feel like you're suffocating others

The slashes on your wrist
                                    (bicep)
                                    (thigh)
                                    (knee)
                             and heart
All an angry red
with the occasional bandage
Though you try to hid your pain
with conveniently placed tattoos
(all beautiful in their importance)
(they're almost as beautiful as you)
(i wish you could see)
your scars are apparent

You
are NOT
a burden
You
are NOT
too much work
You
ARE
incredible
hilarious
talented
brave and strong

You
have been through hell
or at least you've tried to
Thank god it didn't work
and you came back
Because if it had
the world would have lost
another light to the darkness

You are so full of love
and care for others.
I wish I could alleviate your pain,
but all I can do is sit
and listen
and watch you destroy yourself.
I know you have no control
over your sorrow.
It hurts all the more
knowing there's nothing I can do.
But I'll always be there
a shoulder to cry on
giving you a reminder
of how glad I am
that you are here
and alive,
such a vivid part of my life.