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Shelly Bear Jun 2019
If my words would ever reach you,
it’s probably because of the twinge of affliction
that’s running through these lines

If my words would ever reach you,
I’d rather slip away from your hands
than get picked up by you

If my words would ever reach you,
it’s probably me who has given up
and grew tired of us

If my words would ever reach you,
I’d rather surrender the battle
than fight with you, side by side

If my words would ever reach you,
it’s probably because of the caffeine
injecting temporary sorrow

If my words would ever reach you,
I’d rather disappear in the sea of faces
and not look back at you…

…but as I turn around, I found you waving a bittersweet goodbye.
Constantly gasping for healing
Shelly Bear Nov 2018
Are you truly my redemption?
Or just another lesson?
Shelly Bear Nov 2018
I once discovered
a garden bursting with colorful flowers.
It enchanted me that I walked..
and walked.. and walked.

When I got there,
I felt satisfied and secured.
And as the beautiful madness
of the butterflies' dance astounded me,
you created the world of 'us'.

But the ever-changing spectrum of impermanence
struck down everything I know.
Still, I continued walking down your garden.
I felt numb for a moment,
seeing the wounds carved through my flesh
by the thorns unseen
because it was brilliantly covered with perfection.

"Would you still continue walking despite the cuts?" asked the butterflies.

I felt the constant search for escape.
I'm now discontented.
The wounds are getting bigger and bigger.

"I don't know." is all I replied.
You're losing your grip. It hurts.
Shelly Bear Mar 2018
Faint light
and fading night;
The bird sings
its melancholic insight.
Caged inside an absurd universe,
each melody is an unsung curse.

Muffled scream
and shattered dream;
The coyote bids
a disdainful grim.
Fragments of false salvation shroud its way  
resulting in an impenetrable barricade.

Utter obscurity
and interweaving despondency;
A dauntless zephyr emerged
from the tenebrific shadows
of misfortune and tragedy
releasing the desolated soul.
This is why suffering sweetens the reward.


"You are my greatest redemption.", she whimpered.
For Ralph, who saw the wrecked side of me and still chose to love me for who and what I am. I love you to bits!
Shelly Bear Nov 2017
I looked at her,
like how the first sunlight
glimpse over the Earth's weary atmosphere.

I kissed her,
when I saw those jaded eyes & worn-out soul
hiding underneath her blithe veneer.

I held her,
like how the shoreline
embraces the rushing big waves.

I felt her,
when I saw the sharp edge of misery
carving ****** marks on her flesh.

..But she shoots a bland smile
and that's when I knew
she handles raging storms in pursuit of smooth sail.
To the person who set sail with me through thick and thin
Shelly Bear Jul 2017
Gunshot straight at one’s own head
This is not a Russian Roulette,
but a game that aims to forget - for its chambers
each loaded with a bullet.
No point in spinning the cylinder
At any rate, she will pull the trigger.

Gunshot straight at one’s own head
For all the guilt and regret
That will endlessly chase until the last gasp for air
Imperiling; Suffocating

Gunshot straight at one’s own head
For all the shared walks and late night talks
Of faded moments of laughter and giggles
Of traded sentiments trapped in an instance of felicity.

Gunshot straight at one’s own head
For all the petty fights and struggling rights.
Words trip through disheveling minds
falling into a pit of abysmal distress.

Gunshot straight at one’s own heart
For this undying, imperishable memories
Not even a bullet and its fast-paced release
could make it vanish..

And now I ran out of ammos.
failing ways to forget.
Shelly Bear Jul 2017
152,097,701 km;
Days are longer
Nights grew shorter

We are at our most distant
Slowly slipping away
I can't reach you anyway

Stars and skies
are in your eyes;
You compose my every galaxy

Like the orbit,
you provide circuit;
You are my lifeline

Today I woke up
July is what it shows in the calendar
and it's the time of the year
where the Earth is farthest from the Sun.

Like me to you.
I'm slowly learning to get used to this feeling of reaching out and knowing that I can't get to you anymore.
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