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Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
I cut my hair short and dyed it dark.
I spend more time at the park
I listen to those songs i used to hate instead of seeing a shrink.
I turn up the volume so i can't even hear my thoughts.

Now i don't even care everytime my friends give me that 'i told you' look.
I want to change for me, no more living by the book.
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
After The Break Up (Part 2)

I just got back from a cool party.
I had so much fun with my mateys.
Why should i get involved with any kinds of romance?
Only to turn me down and try my patience?

I am so happy this way.
No more teary eyes as a give-away.
I don't need to change anything about my life.
Simply being myself makes me feel so alive.

As i start to get ready for bed i think to myself 'a resolution to open a new page'.

As i lay me down in bed suddenly a very weak scent that i know fills the room.
A scent that makes my heart stop beating so gloom.
No!!!! I scream! Oh God please no!!!!
I'm just about to open a new page of my life!!!!!!
There it is!!!!!! On the window-ledge!!!!!
An empty bottle of perfume that still emits its fragrance!!!!
Your perfume!!!!!
The one you wore that ****** night you dumped me......left me!!!!!
I thought i had got rid of all your ****** stuffs.
****!!!!! I am just about to get over you and the pain you've caused me!!!!!!
You feckin' *****!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feeling like i've just been shot in the head i take the gun i stole from my friend and without thinking twice i pull the trigger.......


Just like that......
That easy......

Hurt so much makes you go that far...
A sequel to 'After The Break Up'.
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
Wasted.... Check.
Bitterly spent... Check.
Worn out... Check.

Great ***... Check.
Drinks... Check.
Parties... Check.
Money... Check.

Cool mates... Check.
Visiting interesting places... Check.
Hot ladies in cool laces... Check.
Pretty faces... Check.

(My conscience asks 'what are you happy now??!')
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
I scream at the top of my lungs.
Cold through the thick curtain of rain i run.
Lonely and hurt as a man could be.
I take my path to part, dark obstacles i see.

You were gone...
I reached out to you and i realized i was alone.
A thousand pictures of sunset running freely before my eyes to share.
I drew myself close to you but i found nobody there.

You were gone...
My heart was torn...

The rain is poured down from heaven... Like blood shed swiftly from an open wound...
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
Roses are red, jasmines are white.
Flowers touch a woman's heart.
Once misled, you will not go right.
Knowing much, you won't part.

Rain falling down,kids running all around.
River running wild, do not get washed away.
A stranger in another town, his kindness does not count.
Don't act like a child, help others find a way.

On a friend to lean, he is so bold.
Friendship means the whole world.
Pantun is a malay poetic form. it is a four-lined verse consisting of alternating, roughly rhyming lines. The first and second lines sometimes appear completely disconnected in meaning from the third and fourth, but there is almost invariably a link of some sort.
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
I know the sun accents the colour of your hair.
I know the wind accents your scent so fair.

But you want to come home.
I wave you a kiss and the wind catches it and turns it into a thousand scents of day.

As far as the wind takes you...
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
I was sitting in the basement in the dark.
Feeling all cold with all these gloomy sparks.
Tears runnning down my face like rain.
Everything i had done in vein.

The walls were closing in on me.
The lights were fading away
I had got nothing left to see.
I had no more roles to play.

My pain was real and severe.
I could not find peace no more.
My heart was torn into tatters.
The agony hit me hard like a spear.

There was only one thing i could do.
I got on my knees before the fire....
And cast your stupid note into it....
And i walked out of the room...

''i'm sorry... I can't do this. Please don't hate me!''

Hate my ***!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fred McCarthy Dec 2010
I am running very fast.
I am running away from you and me.
This will be the last.
Nobody now can see through me.

I have got rid of **everything
Fred McCarthy Dec 2010
What if life was just an equation.
Would we figure out the right results and come up with divine elaboration?
Living life is just as simple as mathematics.
Just add, subscribe, multiply, and divide, no need to be frantic.

What if love was just a magic trick?
Would we break down and fall sick?
Just swing your wand and you would create your true love out of thin air.
Loving so true is as easy as pulling a rabbit out of your magic hat.

Count your days as if everything would last forever.
Be yourself as if your agony of life you would sever.

Comfort my soul so weary.
I have been left hurt and unsteady.

And come lay me down, my child...
Protect me from the world so wild...
Fred McCarthy Dec 2010
There by your river i waited so patienly.
When the world was gilded with purple red light of the rising sun.
The trees covered me so perfectly.
There in my dwelling place i stood to run...

Away from the water...
That reflected your face each time i looked into it.
Away from the wind...
That whispered your name each time i sang.

On your shore i stood by the ocean.
Calling your name with passion.
Soft was the sky, gilding my soul with blue.
As i pledged you my prayers so true.
Fred McCarthy Dec 2010
Calling All The Creeps

I know my hair has caught your sense of humour.
My tacky T-Shirts have made you scold even more.
My lame accent disgusts you so bad.
Like a clown failing to cheer his audience up so pathetic and sad.

But you know nothing about me.
Nothing about how i am so free.
Nothing about what i have seen.
Nothing about what i have been.

I may be lame or not popular.
Hiding like a rat in dark cellars.
Invinsible to many who turn me down.
As embarrassed as a King without his crown.

But i possess one that you do not.
I know how to fasten my string and tye it with a knot.
I see things that are invinsible to you;
Dreams that are too good to be true.

Calling all the creeps in the world.
I fight morality balance so bold.
No eyes are too blind to see a beauty.
No man is too weak to do a duty.

I am a creep...
I am calling all the creeps...
Nobody is to peep...
Everyone think deep!

We are the creeps of the world...
Let's fight so bold...
Through our veins our songs will seep...
Stand up you creeps...
Fred McCarthy Dec 2010
It was christmas eve...
And i had nothing to believe...
My face was pale, my body was cold...
I had nobody to hold...

I was driving my way out of the town...
Thinking of my life breaking down...
When suddenly....vaguely i heard fair...
The sound of the choir in a distant floating in the air...

Silent Night...

Holy Night...

I felt tears running down my face like blood...
Thinking of my fading childhood...
The smell of the cakes being baked in the oven...
When my childhood days were happily spent...

It was not the christmas tree...
Nor was the presents or the songs sung by me...

It was the loneliness deep inside...
This tear i had cried...

I pulled over and stared at the dark blue sky...
With tears still clouding up my eyes...
Deep inside i was still that little boy...
Longing for true and warm joy...
Fred McCarthy Dec 2010
I heard the crack of your heart.
And that hurt me even worse.
I heard the sound of your teardrops as they touched the floor.
That would leave marks for good.

I saw the tears in your eyes fog your sight up.
And that drownt my heart completely.
I saw the pain you embraced.
And that covered my world so badly.

Come fly with me...
Away from here...
To my trance...
Where you could see the sun go down as the world fades away.
Where the trees of autumn by the river are gilded by radiant snow.

Come fly with me...
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
I walk into my bedroom restlessly.
This emptiness passes me by endlessly.
It is gonna be a very lonely day.
Even to myself i have got nothing else to say.

Then i see you there, lying in my bed.
Such a beauty, your wind-blown hair so red.
You move in such a way i can not resist.
I walk closer and put my hand on your wrist.

You get on your knees and touch my face,
Look me in the eye and smile.
You're offering me your love to taste.
I put my hands on your breast for a while.

I have my fingers all around your body.
Feel the softness of your skin seducing me perfectly.
Draw your scent in passionately.

And i close my eyes tight.
So tight that you're out of my sight.

I open my eyes slowly.
And you're not there surely.
You have turned into air.
Leaving me no existence to share.
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
The phone rings. It's you.
'' turn on the news'' you say.

I hang up and turn the TV on, smiling.
I see a photograph of a very beautiful girl smiling at the camera. ***! It's you. Baby!!!!! Your pic is on TV. You're on TV.
I get my phone and dial your number. And the voice from TV thunders....

''A dead body of 22 years old white female identified as Diane O'Shea was found beaten and ***** at the parking lot this morning. According to coroner's record........''

I heave a sigh deep with mouth wide open.......
You just called me....
Sometimes when you end a relationship with someone, a part of yourself that loves the person unconditionally dies along with the feeling you have for her/him.
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
Help me...
I'm falling....

I can't help myself...
I'm too weak...
Too helpless...
There is nothing i can do...

Help me i'm falling...
I'm falling in love with you...

And you're a monster.....
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
I see him almost everyday.
Such a beautiful young man swaggering the day away.
His cleverness and charm rock my world.
A fighter, a lover, a hero so bold.

His blue eyes staring at the sun.
Bewitch me and keep me stunned.
His masculine scent imprisons my ego.
A long road ahead he's ready to go.

I am in love....
He is such a beautiful man to love.
His proud sexuality takes me on.
I am in love with this man, i am turned on.

I stare into his eyes once again.

He eternally belongs to me...
He is a part of me...
He is myself...
I am in love with myself...

Great mirror, i mumble while walking away...
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
If i were beautiful...
I wouldn't have to hide myself everytime i see you

If i were a little bit more stylish
I wouldn't have to bar myself from talking to you everyday

If i had a lot of money...
I wouldn't have to be too afraid to ask you to dine with me.

If i had a car...
I wouldn't have to be jealous everytime i see those guys offer you a ride home.

If i were a little bit more courageous...
I wouldn't have to send you anonymous letters to tell you how i really feel about you.

If i were a couple feet taller...
I wouldn't have to compete with that ******* whom i overheard telling his friends that he liked you a lot to win your heart
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
Why did you say yes to his invitation?
Why did you take his calls?
Why did you call him back?
Why did you go out with him?
Why did you sleep with him?

Why did you cheat on me?

Don't you 'IT JUST HAPPENED' me.

Now i get a gun and i am going to blow your head off, mutilate you and bury you somewhere far away deep in a forest.... So far that i won't even remember where i have buried you. And then i'll turn myself in to the police. And when they ask me all those why's i'll be so happy to say 'IT JUST ****** HAPPENED'.
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
I watched you walking away with him yesterday.
Touching as you both swaggered away.
Beautiful smile on your face.
Kissing with every pace.

It wasn't me you were longing for...
Because I could never go too far...

If only you had known my pain...

I saw you holding his hand so tight...
I knew you loved him so right....

It should have been my hand you're holding so close to your heart...
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
You look me in the eye.
What beautiful perfect brown eyes.
You put your hands on my face.
I put my hands on your waist.

You do not need to say a word.
Nor do i...

We're speaking a language only we know...
Fred McCarthy Dec 2010
Long before you came into my life.
I had dreamt of your face.
I had heard your laughter so alive.
I had longed for your heart to embrace.

Everynight i think of you.
What i feel for you is true.
My son John, the world has changed because of you.
Every colour of Life has become brighter and true.

There will never be days passing by without me breathing every laughter you make.
Having you has made me complete as a man.
Who in the past was obscure and fake.
Always stared in vain at the sun.

My Son....
My Sun...
My Only Beloved One...
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
I would do anything for you.
To prove how much it hurts me to so badly want you.
You want blood i give you a lot of blood.
You want those men who once broke your heart dead i will blow their heads off and watch them one by one thud.

I love you so bad that it hurts.
I want you so unbearably i could cut my throat and see my own blood squirt.
Please don't go...
Your love for me sooner or later will grow.

Please do not fear me....
My heart is all i have got...
I have a lot of for you to see...
Though i know in my weary soul there's an eternal spot...
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
I will live my life for you,my love,till i see the bright  light in your eyes fading away

(And here comes a massive storm.....)

I w  i   l l  li    vem   yl  if  ef  oryo u , m yl  ov e , t il l     i  se e  t h e    b  r  i  g h t  li   ght  i n  yo u r e   y esf a d in  ga  w   ay

w  i     L     l  li    vem   yl  if  ef  O    ryo u , m yl  o     VE   t     I    l l       S    e e  t  e    B     r  i  g h t     L   i   ght  IN     y u r e   y esf a      D     in  ga  w   ay

L     lvemyl    O      mylo     VE   t     IS    eete    B   ight     L   ight  IN     yure   yesa  D     ingay

L     my    O    lo     VE        IS    te    B   it     L   t  IN   re   sa  D     iny

L         O          VE        IS        B        L     IN    D

Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
He is eating you alive.
Feeding on you so rife.
Still you embrace him.
Still you put up with him.

Love does hurt but you have choices.
It's your brain you should use not your face.
He has got your heart in his spooky tapering hands.
Smiling his face is spookily gaunt.

You're making love to a monster...
You're seducing a hearteater...
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
Warm breeze, another summer night.
Sacred windows, pale stars shining so bright.
Closer my dreams and barely true.
A thousand kisses i am wrung through.

Lonely lovers' lullabies so sweet and right.
Scents from an ancient story re-captured tonight.
Cast gently, shaped softly like my heart  
Merging purely, to never part.

Magical moon above my rooftop.
Shining through your very skin.
Driving away your teardrops.
Up my rooftop tonight my heart will shin.
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
You are so beautifully dead.
I see you dance with death.
Through frozen nights of your hopes.
Cold-heartedly you wrung me as i loped.

No woman could ever break my heart.
I had taken my path many years ago to part.
You broke me, i broke you even worse.
I mutilated your heart, i loved you so bad, my beautiful corpse.

In your long white dress of pain.
You dance with the night as your blood i drain.
You are so beautiful that to love you is painful.
I will open the door to your soul and end my own life so dreadful.
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
I have news for you
Only for you...

I don't know how to tell you this the easiest way...
But i'm going to make it quick...

Yesterday.....'aku tidur dengan kekasihmu.... Maafkanlah aku, teman.....'
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
Is it the drinks i am having?
Is it your flawless beauty i am noticing?
Is it only illusion i see?
Is it only me?

This night will never end.
If i let you walk alone in the rain.
Love at first sight my ****** ****!!!
What i feel can not be reversed.
Fred McCarthy Dec 2010
Tonight i look deep into your eyes.
And i can see through you.
I see your heart beating at the same speed my heart is.
I breathe your scent deep preserve the moment in my memory.

One hundred years from now, i will be seeing you again.
With no wrinkles and white hairs, nor any signs of aging.
You will still be as beautiful as you are now in my arms.
With your golden chesnut-coloured lipstick and your high heels.

And we will still be sharing the same sweet and strong passion.
As we lay us down on earth, with a blanket of blue sky and starry night covering us, protecting us from the cold.

One hundred years from now i will still enjoy kissing you in front of our house so everyone walking by can see us...
Like we always do now...

One hundred years from now...
I will always turn to you each time you reach out to hold me...
Fred McCarthy Jan 2011
It only hurts when i miss you.
Those nights when i dream of you.
When i wish i could travel many light years away to bring me any closer to you.
When it is my tears i am wrung through.

It only hurts when i think of you.
When my world turn so blue.
When i can not make out faces i see.
When i do not know where to be.

It only hurts when i say your name.
Thinking of the day you came.
To make a man out of me.
To make me feel and see.
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
I was hasty and stupid.
I did not know what i wanted.
When i saw you all i wanted was to snog you
You looked feckin perfect in your blue shoes.

I didn't know what was coming my way.
I didn't know i was going to get hurt that way.
Cold-bloodedly and unmercifully.
Painfully and pitifully.

I was ****** ignorant....
You were my bestfriend's ****** girlfriend!!!!!!
Thank you for making me romance-intolerant.
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
I'm tired of all these *** games.
My body is all you want to claim.
But you don't even know my name.
My freedom now i will proclaim.

Your words are disturbing
Your behaviour is annoying
Your heart is frightening
Your love is exhausting
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
Your Shadow

I see your face everywhere i go.
Old pictures haunt me from a story we had many years ago.
In this infinite universe, you're the only one who keeps coming back.
To haunt me and follow my tracks.

I want to travel many light years away to get away from you.
With a piece of yourself still lodged in my soul.
If i died, would i ever free of you?
If i could turn back time to ignore you, would i still be able to find myself the way i am?

Shadow.....your shadow....
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
You offered me a golden cup of wine.
A jar of olives in brine.
With all my heart i drank it.
You had nothing to admit.

I know you gave me poison.
I know you kept me imprisoned.
Why do i still believe in you?
Was it love or foolishness you wrung me through?
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
I saw her again today. It's been years since the last time we met. She's so perfectly beautiful. I loved her brown eyes. And she couldn't take her eyes off me.

I finally talked with her. She's cool. And i got her phone numbers. God bless me! :)

I called her twice today asking how she was. She responded positively which means good to me.

I met her today at church. For the love of God. She looked so beautiful in her white long-dress.

I called her again today and found out that we have a lot of things in common. Great! She likes chinese food as much as i do.

I called her again and asked her if she wanted to go out with me tonight. She said yes. God it's about time. I'm going to tell her.

The dinner went great. We talked of a lot of cool things. I called her again this afternoon and invited her to dine with me and my family tommorow. She said yes and was so excited about it. God i'm the happiest man in the whole world.


*******! In the middle of the dinner she announced that she's going to get married next month. And she wants me to give her away.

I need more beer to rock the night away. Cheers, mates!!!!

(Ten years later)
I could've been that man....
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
Please don't go yet...
I haven't told you my deepest secret...
My heart was haunted...
By despair and hatred...

But when i met you everything changed...
Breaking me down you set my heart free that once had been caged...
You turned me into another monster...
A heartless creature that breaks women's hearts as his was torn in tatters.
Fred McCarthy Dec 2010
I walk myself to the place i know.
Where your presence resides.
Where we made a thousand vows.
Beneath the stars we watched the world side by side.

As i step into the forest.
To where you will eternally rest.
The greens around makes me feel so out of place.
My heart beats so unsteady with every pace.

To the power of time i shall succumb.
My old body has gone completely weak and numb.
Before the world i stand alone to take my path.
Many years ago against your passing i have released my wrath.

I find your river...
I find your trees...
Gleaming like silver...
Soft as a see breeze...

For i am coming for you very soon.
Steady as the radiant moon.
Magical as the lullaby the trees croon.
Yet sweet as a promised boon.
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
A succesful lawyer is deeply and desperately mourning for his dead wife today. A robber broke into their house yesterday, took their money away and killed his wife who happened to be at home alone watching TV by strangling her to death. He blames God for his wife's terrible death and decides to convert himself to atheism.

A Mother has just got a terrible news this morning. Her son died in war yesterday. She blames God who let this happen and the goverment who sent her son away into battle

Neither of them has the slightest ideas of what would happen in the near future if their wife and son hadn't died.....

The lawyer's wife someday would be so bored of her husband's job that keeps him busy all the time and then start seeing another man. He then would find out about his wife's affair, confront her and after a fierce quarrel **** her by strangling her. After he kills the man his wife has an affair with he then shoots himself as well in the head...

The woman's son would return home on leave immediately  and accidentaly run into a very attractive mid-aged woman . Both would start seeing each other, to the woman's husband's dismay who then would end up killing them both before finally kills himself.

Things happens for reasons....
Life is like a river.... You change its course, it would come three times swifter than it should...
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
Not the loneliness in your heart.
Not the path your lover took to part.

Only the things you do alone.
Tears out to be shown.

Long hours wondering where you are.
Everything seems so far.

Words mean nothing outspoken.
Nothing mends a heart madly broken.
Fred McCarthy Dec 2010
This miracle...
I hold in my arms.
Tightly yet gently.

This miracle...
I hold close to my heart.

This miracle...
I would give everything up for.
I would spend my youth for.

This miracle...
Binds us close together.
Completes us for good.

This miracle...
The fruit of your womb...
Our beloved son...
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
I want to try again.
I want your heart to gain.
I am not a saint.
I can not stop the rain.

I was waiting for you at the bus-stop
Counting my every teardrop.
Watching the stars above my rooftop.
Wondering if you would ever give me hope.
Fred McCarthy Dec 2010
Calling All The Creeps

I know my hair has caught your sense of humour.
My tacky T-Shirts have made you scold even more.
My lame accent disgusts you so bad.
Like a clown failing to cheer his audience up so pathetic and sad.

But you know nothing about me.
Nothing about how i am so free.
Nothing about what i have seen.
Nothing about what i have been.

I may be lame or not popular.
Hiding like a rat in dark cellars.
Invinsible to many who turn me down.
As embarrassed as a King without his crown.

But i possess one that you do not.
I know how to fasten my string and tye it with a knot.
I see things that are invinsible to you;
Dreams that are too good to be true.

Calling all the creeps in the world.
I fight morality balance so bold.
No eyes are too blind to see a beauty.
No man is too weak to do a duty.

I am a creep...
I am calling all the creeps...
Nobody is to peep...
Everyone think deep!

We are the creeps of the world...
Let's fight so bold...
Through our veins our songs will seep...
Stand up you creeps...
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
my soul
to Satan to
make you love
as i have loved you
unconditionally. And He
told me that i could have your
heart If i give him your soul Too So
i said yes, as long as i can possess Your
only heart for good. No matter where we
would end up i don't care as long as we
are together and i have your heart for
good. Hell or death as long as you
are with me. Give yourself to
him, my love. And we will
live together forever
in eternity just
you and
How far would you go to win a heart?
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
As she moves closer to me i can't help it but smile how exquisite she is.
Her amazing blue eyes that always smile. Her dark brown hair that emits such lovely fragrance. Your mother is so beautiful.....

When she came into my room last night. She looked me in the eye telling me how handsome i am while holding my hands so tight. I smiled back at her and hugged her so tight. God i am so in love with her. Your mother is so beautiful....

This morning she made me a cup of hot coffee and asked me to hug her once again before i left. I hugged her so tight... So tight... Like i would never let go. And your father suddenly appeared at the door, smiling at us.

Oh brothers.... We're lucky to have her in our lives.... Our mother is so beautiful....
To Dave and Chris... Our Mother rocks,brothers!!!!
Fred McCarthy Nov 2010
He is such a lucky man.
To have such a wonderful woman.
He has your heart, body and soul.
Solemnly watching you his heart tolls.

Sometimes i wonder what you see in him.
You're a beautiful creature that every man can only meet in their dreams.
His life has never been the same again since he met you.
In his mind he captures only pictures of you.

He is one lucky man.
And i thank God he is me.

— The End —