My brother once asked me this question
But by the time I knew the answer,
he was gone
When life, is cherished no longer
and you can’t see through the tears
when your tired of elusive happiness
and searching for truth without fears
There was a time I thought I knew,
what this life was all about
And if you asked me, I could tell you
What to look for along the route
But that time for me is now long gone
And memories once strong have faded
Now I see life through eyes of death
My conviction’s gone sour, I’m jaded
When you’ve put the gun to your head
And consciously made your decision
When your finger is upon death’s trigger
And there’s no turning back, no remission
When you’re gone
Only now dear brother is the answer so painfully clear
A hole in your head
A hole in our lives
A hole in our hearts
A hole in the ground
My brother took his own life many years and many tears ago... He was 21. I still miss him, sometimes angrily, sometimes sadly... He killed himself because the woman he loved left him and in his depression he could see no other way to end his pain... The anniversary of his suicide is coming up in January and after 38 years the only hole that's been filled is the hole in the ground. There have been many times in my life that I thought I wanted to join him, but I pull this old poem out and reread it and I know that whatever it is that's depressing me can be dealt with without going to that extreme! Don't give into depression! It's but a day in life and once you decide to continue you'll find you have so many good days to live that a few bad days aren't worth throwing it all away for! Make the choice to continue! Make the choice to live!
Entertaining life’s illusions
he dances upon the leaves
that the winds of change have piled
neatly beneath a Harvest Moon.
Eclipsed by the heart of this soulless scarecrow
who stands alone in his field of dreams
awaiting the plows that will rebuild
his vision’s of tomorrow.
Soaring beyond our own infinite dreams
Plotting universal conceptual themes
Forward nor backwards nor up and or down
Gravity, it’s holding us down to this ground
A stitch in time passes, through folded space
that can take us away, back to a place.
Where unseen strings are rings that appear,
will defy all logic for many a year
Riding a rift through spaces of time,
reflecting on future visions refined.
Seeking dimensional barriers to wake,
eleven it seem’s, the number to make
For the physicist's out there
Eyes closed, imagining, dreaming
Eyes open, materializing realizations
Heart closed, empty and cold
Heart open, warm and full
Mind closed, stagnating and lost
Mind open, expanding the universe
Hands closed, denying uninviting
Hands open, accepting and giving
Arms closed, withdrawn, uneasy
Arms open, welcoming life and love
It’s raining and we’re laying face to face
In the clubhouse where our sweet, sweet love was made
A private universe created in this space
Our light so bright it doesn’t seem we’ll ever fade
When the summer turns to fall
I get these feelings, and recall
All the times love’s past me by
And I let it go with just a sigh…
A poet searches
thru the light to find.
Where inspiration lives.
Where the words
are the visions of dreams
thru his soul
and take him with.
To where it is his heart does live
and his spirit guides his sight.
Flowing from within
directing his pen,
in endless streams of delight.
A blind man searches
thru the night to see.
His dreams his only vision
And the only light
he’s ever seen,
knowing only intuition.
If he were to paint a picture
what a wonder it would be.
From his spirit it’d
have to flow,
and be, guided by his dreams.
Abstract visions of places
that pass in lighted streams.
Wondrous visions of beauty
he’s never had sight to’ve seen.