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Claustrophobia sets in with the Sun in the West. Petrichor fills my lungs.
Not even the purifying winds of the Dawning Monsoon can erase the Blackness that has captured my thoughts.
The Sea so vast and blue, is nothing more than an Empty vessel of unending Misery. Grey. Grey everywhere.
The depth is Merciless, the Frothing waves; Crushing.
Swallowed. Eaten alive by my sorrow and that of the Worlds'.
The weight lies heavy on my Incapable shoulders.
I yearn to shed these Chains that bind me. But they bite too hard.
Pinching flesh. Drawing Blood.
I fall to my knees, Naked and Defenseless. Surrendering myself to their Mercy.
The cold wind encases me in its Shroud, leaving me Numb.
I can't breathe. Air. Air. So much of it, None for me.
Blood carpets the Cold marble floor.
Freckled with Red.
I can't scream. I am past fear.
Speed increases. Motions pass. The world dances.
Leaving me in its wake,
Drawing Blood.
The blues.
She stood waiting.
Waiting as the stars await the suns eventual death.
As the desert awaits that one translucent drop of absolete euphoria.
Her lips cracked open,
A sliver of fragile hope escaping its tremors.
Fluttering away.
She is surrounded by exquisite misery,
Drowning in hysteria.
Day folding into night,
The moon running circles.
She stood waiting,
With the sound of stinging memories reverberating endlessly.
Touch, smell, touch, love.
All catapulting into that final crescendo,
Where all those moments
Flow into the sea of those hauntingly beautiful words,
**I Am Here
I was inspired by this one line-
"The wait is long, my dream of you does not end.”
― Nuala O'Faolain, My Dream of You
I just wish if I could be in your mind
know what you are thinking n what all goes in it all the time
coz I wanna be the perfect one for you and make you forever mine.
I always did what you told me
you said things and I believed
babe please hold on to me
and never let me leave..
(I)
I am the self proclaimed
Lifes court jester
Making people laugh
is what I do best

When I see someone sad
I instantly put on my funny hat
because laughter
is a good medince
even if it only lasts for a few moments
those moments could be life saving

But sometimes
The court jester
isnt always there
Sometimes its just me
Me in all my imperfection

I hide behind the court jester
To cover up my pain
my ******* upness
and my saddness

But Being the jester
Well it helps me
When I know I can make someone smile
even on their worst days on earth
It feels good knowing
I am helping someone
even if for a few presious moments

Maybe I'm not as worthless
as I thought I was
I am the Self Proclaimed , Lifes Court Jester,
Its who I am through and through
Her feelings are burried deep down
like the pharohs of old.

She pushes on and carries on
Protecting her family
by bringing them endless laughter.

But

Her Humor is drying out
like a puddle in a drought.

The court jester is stumbling
struggling to hold on
She is reaching out for help

The court jester is crumbling
right infront of everyones eyes.
But she does it in secret

with a slice of her wrist here
and a swipe at her legs there.

She puts on her plastic smile
and brings laughter to everyone around her.
Read my poem
The Story Behind the Court Jester,
it ties somewhat into this one
I am wet
Not my clothes
But my heart
When I walk through my past
Some sort of mistakes
I cannot redo them
I am learning
From my mistakes
One day I will
Come out of my mistakes
# learning things to redo and fix them
I am in such a
Lack of pain right
Now.
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