The air is heavy with summer sunshine
I've never slept with only a sheet on the bed before
Before these nights
Before I was wrapped in love and security
Before all of my problems were left at the door
I don't even pay bills in this room anymore.
The fan on 3
Under the cover
By morning it will be gone
Along with our clothes
Because heat overcame our bodies
But we still had to be that much closer
To each other
To fill the space that was left
By what ever thread count that disappeared.
Laying in bed for hours on end
Even though we're both starving
And have a craving for cafe con leche
Our addiction to this bed is more powerful.
My addiction to you is more powerful than that...
I've always been able to hear cars from the window
But now I listen.
For they have always been there.
But I have never been here.
In this place
That has so much love to give
As do I.
To you, to them, to everyone.

More than a year's gone by.
Would you even recognize me if you saw me on the street?
The question is would I recognize you
If you walked past me...
Besides I don't think I've changed all that much.
You might beg to differ.
Because I can still see you...
Just like I saw you yesterday.
I heard your voice
Watched your cheeks raise when you smiled,
Watched your eyes watch mine intently.
Maybe it was just a dream,
When I watched you turn into the sunset
And walked away.
To forever leave me in the wake of my own memory.

I hate the way you do that thing you do that makes me look at you and realize how much I love you and how open I am and how vulnerable I am, that you made me that way, and then I hate you a little more. And then I think about how I've never been that way because I've never loved someone the way I love you in that very moment and I go back to hating you because you made me that way.. You know what they say, I love you more today than I did yesterday, and less than I will tomorrow, but my question is what is the unit of measure?
Because if love is measured in words, today I could write a book. Tomorrow I could fill a library and in a week I could educate nations for generations because my love for you is timeless.
If love is measured in the cohesive bond of two molecules of hydrogen and a molecule of oxygen, today you could collect all the tears that I cry in a night because my heart is almost breaking because I miss you. Tomorrow, you could collect all the tears that I cry in a lifetime, along with the raindrops that I danced in when I was a little girl because of the blissful joy I feel when I'm around you. In a week, you would need the ocean to hold all the rain that has fallen on this world and has flowed from the highest mountain tops like the way your hands hold me and run from my shoulders to my lower back.
If love is measured in money... It doesn't matter because my love for you is priceless. But let's just say poverty would be eradicated and prices would be deflated so that a mother could cook a Thanksgiving dinner every night for her family.
If my love for you was measured in kisses, that would be ridiculous. Because today I'd have enough love to kiss you for the rest of the night, and tomorrow with the sun rise, I'll have enough love to kiss you for the rest of your life. In a month, there would be enough for everyone to kiss a stranger, their brother, their daughter, their mother three times over.
I love you exponentially and eventually becomes immeasurable and I'll have no way to measure my love as perfectly as it takes to measure milk and eggs to make a cake and bake it for your birthday. But I can't bake, I can't even follow the directions on a box. So in the meantime, I'll just count the stars in the sky and name each one as a reason why I love you until I lose count or fall asleep. The next night I can start all over again, count each star out to the moon, make a right at Pluto and come back again.

And even after I count every single one, I still have galaxies and light years to measure how much I love you.

Words and actions, actions and words
What came first the egg or the bird?
We’re confined to believing that change only comes from a dollar bill
For a bill of 6.75 but what is the price of freedom?
Freedom ain’t free and I may not agree with what you say
But I will defend with my life your right to say it
But before I can save you, I need to save myself from self destruction
So its up to me to break the chains but
I feel like I’m trapped by a straight jacket with my arms around my waist
Shackles on my ankles and a muzzle on my face.
I’m bound to the ground by belts fastened tight
And I have a blindfold on so I have no sight
I try to yell to scream, but my voice has been silenced
We’re all a victim of organized crime it’s called: the government
The heat waves gave way to my ribcage because
I’m starving but it might as well be my temples carving spaces
of malnourishment of the mind, body and soul
when the body hurts as a whole,
there’s a space void in the mind
and I’m being confined as my spirit is ripped limb from limb.
I’m bound by the standards of society
What they tell me is what I need to be, but
Who is they, anyway? I’m trapped by a system that has me running in circles.
My intellect is tested by standardized tests the determine my fate like a crystal ball
They are not a caricature of my character by any means
Education is the key to achieving your dreams but
Not before you  pay the state government that tells us we can’t get a job
To pay for our schooling so we can’t do the school thing that supposedly is a birthright.
Can we start to get it right?

I let my mind sink into itself with the thought of you. I felt the water slide over my body and how I love to drown in your arms just as the sun comes up... but before I even got there I had to approach the shoreline.. the first meeting of you and I. My toes in the sand as I got my feet wet for the first time in something that was worth my time... I waded up to my knees in the love that you had to offer me, felt my feet fall deeper in the sand and fall deeper into love with what's just inside the outside... the shallow of your eyes, the inside of your hand.. I lifted my foot out of the sand and took another step forward.. the water reached my fingertips. I could almost feel your lips as I traced lines on your face that I can still draw into the back of my hand like a memory. As time passed lines that made your eyes lingered and and then drew our fingers intertwined as I took your hand in mine. I'm not afraid of the ocean, only afraid that I won't be everything that you are... vast, deep, and everything more. . My time came to leave the shore and dive in.. sink or swim. I took one last breath and never looked back. I don't regret that. I spend my days swimming beneath the surface... knowing you're worth it. I spend my nights safe in your embrace until the sun comes up again. I no longer long for the shore, only that every one knows what its like to drown in the best way... to lose yourself in love

Dear Beyonce, I love you, but I loved your thighs more. They gave me a reason to believe my thighs were just fine. I believed that they were worth the time it took to get my jeans on or trouble when I found a dress that fit the rest of me perfectly, but finding another because my thighs were making it too short. I was under the impression that the pressure on his lap from my thighs was just fine and that if he couldn't handle them, he couldn't handle me.
My thighs were supported by calves that were the pillars that support my *** that is almost too much for the eyes to handle.  It was okay that my thighs jigged cause my muscles were chiseled from my *** to my heels when I walked in a pair of heels, revealing marble stone that Greek statues envied.
Where did they go?
Now I'm told that I have to cover them from the summer sun and they can't wade in waves the crash on them when I stand in water that's just below my waist. They can't be mimicked by a pair of jeans or matched exactly by a pair of leggings. They have to be lonely and never be reminded of one another's presence because they can get lost with increased degrees of separation.
But I will not eat the lies that media, airbrush, needles, and people feed me. My legs have walked a thousand miles and have carried others along the way. I will not doubt them because they have never failed me.
I think I've made my decision. Thank you.

I don't know when you exist.
Maybe it was just to show me you were okay.
But why make it harder to let you go?...
You were almost real.
I heard your voice.
I watched your shoulders twist in the wind.
If I close my eyes, I can see you.
Did I touch you?
Did I gage the temperature of your body with my hand?
In fact I never did.
Stood as a bystander and just watched.
I was powerless to transmit this feeling that I had,
That was so deep my subconscious carried it.
I thought you were just a fleeting memory.
Believed you existed in a time and place
That was from over a years past.
Why do you still sit in the corner of my  mind?
I can still feel the breeze coming through my window,
And I wonder if it's touched your skin.
If you're not coming back,
Please don't stay here.