I can't abandon my tears
because each is my friend

I will always be the slippery *****
               they warn you not to go down
         I am the clutter in your closet
                           they ask you to clean out
                Forever the reason you look
                              both ways before crossing

They say I am not right for you
         But I want to be your happiness
              The world sees me rotten
                         I wish for you to help me
                  Paint the world with color
                        So we may prove them wrong

I don't want to be me.
ME.
Miserable
Emptiness.

No need to ****
what is dead inside,
rats die in sewers,
when the flood comes,
and rivers go dry,
when the rain is undone,
and flowers bloom for butterflies,
only to be eaten by caterpillars,
sometimes you watch the time go by,
only to realize you went blind,
the world is a wild jungle,
you became cockroach to survive.

I write to…
get out of my head
to rid me of dread
to understand
to be understood

I write…
how I’m feeling
or how I wish I felt
when my words are bad
when they are good

I write and…
it makes perfect sense
or makes no sense at all

I write…
to connect the dots
to find a clue
to get to a better me
to appreciate you

I write...
Because I have to