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 Nov 2017 flowerheart
k
(111) I like your character more than I like you
(112) You are too kind hearted to be this selfish
(113) in the movie about us you care a lot more
(114) I'm not as mean as I pretend to be
(115) your head is so far up in the clouds nothing can ever reach you
(116) you made me feel like I was up there with you
(117) I think I love things that are bad for me
(118) you have an obsession with controlling your emotions
(119) my favorite pass-time is setting myself on fire
(120) my name sounds at home in your mouth
(121) I'm certain there's a universe that only exists when we're together
(122) I love how much you hurt me
(123) I'm relieved when you make me hate you.
(124) my greatest fear is that I love you
(125) I am concerned you don't know what love is
(126) there's a chance you could still be a figment of my imagination
(127) this surface level **** is too vapid for ***** sakes
(128) I often imagine reaching into your chest to find what went wrong with your heart
(129) you notice everything and say very little.
(130) I burn for the both of us
(131) you hurt me over again carefully and with love
(132) we are my most elaborate display of self-harm.
I am so terribly calculated and impulsive at the same time I am constantly causing my own meltdowns

I'm not sure if patience is a virtue but I am pretty sure good things don't come to those who wait because the early bird gets the worm and there's still movement in slow and steady because you can't win a race if you don't move

My mentality has always been "if you have to think about wanting me then you probably don't deserve me" and I will never wait around for a man to decide whether or not he loves me because he's only wasting both our time



But with you...
Well everything slows down
And the things that I never stop thinking about escape my mind when I sit next to you
And I hate waiting more than anything else in this world
But looking at you and wondering what my hand would feel like in yours and what it would be like to wake up next to you
For the first time in my life
I feel like I found something worth waiting for
 May 2017 flowerheart
JDK
The fake said to the phony,
"I'm hip to your jive and the smell of bologna,"

Meanwhile, homegirl still pronounces the L in salmon.

Somedays are deep fried and pan seared to perfection.
This is not one of them.

The bonafide bonerless guy cried aloud that he wished he would die,
so we took him out for ice cream.
If I see the sun come up tonight, I'll scream.
To us.
We are born, we strive to live.
We live, we strive to learn.
We learn, we strive to improve.
We improve, we strive to stretch.
We stretch, we strive to strengthen.
We strengthen, we stand to fight.
We fight, we try to fix.
We… can't fix, we strive to keep.
We lose, we refuse to weep.
We weep, we strive to heal.
We heal, we strive to live.
We live, we discover love.
We love, we strive not to bend.
We bend, we don’t want to break.
We break, we strive to mend.
We mend… and we do it all over again.
Simple happiness for a simple girl. Simple pleasures, simple sorrows and simple, pure, unadulterated feelings.

Who cares how you look? What you're wearing,  what you're doing, who you're with? Why should it matter to anyone but you and that person? You enjoy their company, their mind, their body, their soul; their being entoxicates the world around you, the air you breathe... all you're left with is the excited breathlessness, memories dusting your mind with a fading buzz.

You can feel your eyes expanding, your mind is twisting, your thoughts are running up a hill , through the town , past the red door and right around the block.
And then... numbness. Relieving, laughter-inducing numbness, the breed of which appears just after you avoid disaster. The breed that, despite the serious situation, it throws you into a fit of giggles, tumbling through the green grass on the hill with your childhood friend, wondering, dreaming, experimenting, learning...
Soaking up all of life until you just feel like you're going to explode!

Because life is simple. Life is random, a careless whisper in the wind, a water droplet in a storm as the bullets of water fall around you and Pierce you to your core and as God lets loose a glowing whip across the sky and as the thunder beats the earth and shakes you through the the core.  That's when you know that you're alive.

And as you stand outside the window
Thrilled, afraid, you go to pray so
You can get the one you want,
Because you can throw heaven from the skies
Run the world and maybe fly because...
Because of them. They are the centre of your world, they are the light to your black midnight, they are the beauty for your beast, they are the hours of your seconds because...
Without them, you amount to nothing. And without you, they amount to nothing.
Empty eyes
Uncovered lies
So many tries

Stop.

Can’t decide
I have tried
Can’t be pried out

Stop.

Empty words
I have learned
Something that I should

Stop.

It’s not me
It’s unity
Of my body of three

Stop.

I need to tame
My mind it’s lame
It’s all just one big game

Stop!

The dark is coming
Wanna start running
But my mind is begging, please

Stop!

Tired of lying
Tired of trying
But I won’t give up.

Stop.
For the longest time, I’ve said that I loved Wolf because we were the same species; we were the same person under different skin. I said I knew him like the back of my hand, though we never spoke deeply with each other, and rarely spoke altogether.

I come to understand; his species is a danger to mine.

Our greatest difference is what we did with the most valuable currency; Wolf dips his hands into blood for the texture; the information he holds slips quickly and does the greatest damage it can, always staining the secret’s origin.

My knowledge is my blood; it remains within me always. It spills for a cause of merit. My satisfaction spawns within my blood.
I do not leave scratches, stains or finger prints. The Observer watches the decoy, oblivion may know if I was ever there...
watching,
learning,
growing. Forever knowing.

And this is how my counterpart has been hiding for the last biennial, a thief among thieves just as he should appear.
His satisfaction spawns within his blood.
Leaving no scratches, stains or finger prints. The Observer watches the decoy, oblivion may know if he was ever there.

Of course.

The parallel of a parallel,
solitude, side by side,
seeing no one, watching the other,
I close my eyes; reality reveals a new dimension.
I open my eyes; a new spectrum has unfolded. It’s crystal clear.
It’s been a thousand years. What have I missed?
Welcome.

He is strong. More powerful than I knew.
He is aware. His consciousness tempts me.
He is the antithet of the cromulent.
He is weakened by uncertainty and shame.

My strength spawns within my blood. Within my knowledge. Within my satisfaction.
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