l i g h t s
burning on your forehead
i saw them spelling
l i e s
on a rainy morning in march.

i think it is sad to say
i will never look at you the same way.
i will never see the passion
burning in your eyes;
the happiness in the creases of
your pure white bed sheets.

you were cruel;
brutal, you crashed us in the blink
of an eye. you were not what i thought
you were.

i hope you know how you ruined me. you were the storm and i was in its center; the world's spinning, this was never meant to be. what am i supposed to know?
all of your actions felt like scratches, i keep on scratching, i keep on hurting and it still reminds me how it could have been.
but change was coming, i didn't see it coming, it hit me like the waves hit the shore until it shapes me, it makes my silhouette look like the words you never say; selfish, selfish, don't be dramatic! who's the moon, when did sunshine become a burning flame?
isn't it cruel how my mind's still filled with your fingertips, i still feel your warmth on my sheets - and now my shoulders carry all of the words, all the blame you put on me.
when will your anger ever stop burning, my dear?
i try to move on. i try to swim but i keep on sinking, i'm still holding onto things i cannot have whenever there's a quiet night -- you heard, this was my specialty?
it was like taking a look in the mirror ; but i was the reflection, gruesome, grotesque, ghostlike. it took me so long but it's fading, sinking, drowning.
when will waves stop crashing, when will winds stop howling;
when will it stop hurting - insecure, insecure, insecure!
i will let go,
someday ;