"You're not confident. That's what makes you unattractive"
Well *******, I tried to be
But somehow confidence is not achievable with a big body
Did I have "low self esteem" tattooed on my forehead?
What made you think it was okay for you to criticize me?
The love I had to give was endless
And it wasn't skin-deep like yours
I mean, it wouldn't have lasted if it was...
You weren't exactly a looker
I had a big heart, but maybe big hearts only come in big bodies

Look and you will see the tragedy that is bestowed upon us,
Children of the universe.
It eats away at our hearts like acid
Yet we grin and we grit our teeth.
Our spirits are roaring with the ache of insecurity.
We are the children of the universe.
Our thoughts are a twisted garden of vines
And no trespassing is permitted.
Our minds are guarded mighty and high.
We rise every morning and put on a smile,
Ready to show the face that we have chosen for others to know.
Our exterior is cool and prepared.
We conceal the flowers that bloom from our minds
And pull them out as though they are weeds.
We sacrifice our identities to satisfy society.
Every word we speak is one that is cautiously selected.
Our insecurity has its hands on our throats
And is slowly suffocating us.
We are all dying under the weight of hiding our truths.
We are the children of the universe.
When will we say how we feel?

Stop crying, you poor, stubborn girl

Why do you think he is so special
When he took the most delicate parts of you
And decided they were ordinary?

Why do you think he is an angel
If he can sleep at night knowing
How heavy your heart feels?

Why do you think he was the one
If he did not have the patience to stay?

You will find that true love surpasses all barriers

So do not be upset that you have lost him
If he was destiny, he would have stayed

Because nothing can get in the way of destiny
Not even stubborn little girls like you

I am not the girl of your dreams
I am not the girl who you text at 3 am because you can't sleep
I am not the girl who you think of when you're alone
I am not the girl you want to get to know

Are you waiting for a boy to give you flowers?
It's risky when you allow a stranger to control your happiness

Boys have flowers to give, but not to you
All of their flowers are wilting and dead

They use this as a tactic for pleasure
Adoration in exchange for ***

But you know that already…

You are worth flowers
You are worth the liveliest and the brightest

So don't be sad when you are left with none
No one wants dead flowers anyway

It was not you he adored,

But rather the way you made him feel

The way you put his insecurities to sleep

You made him feel as though he was enough

But darling, that is not love

But rather, it is necessity

So when he says you are too good for him, believe him

You were so good that he could never measure up

I started running again
Because the pain of remaining stagnant
And being flooded with thoughts of you
Is greater than any physical pain

you don't need therapy
or drugs
what you are in dire need of
is unconditional self love

I was sitting there quietly when
Suddenly all of the clouds cleared up
In an instant I felt as if I had experienced ecstasy
It was lovely, it was sweet
I had always been waiting for this moment
I always put too much effort in trying to grasp it
And therefore I lost sight of it almost as soon as I found it
Maybe I’m delusional
Just because the sky cleared up,
It doesn't mean that there will be sunshine
I was prepared to feel the warm rays on my face
But after a glimpse, they left me in my solitude
It showed in my face and it showed in my appetite
Everyone could see my discontent
My mother didn't hesitate to point it out
I guess I wasn't made to feel content
I wasn't meant to have crazy, wondrous joy
Look me in the eyes
And say “You’ll be okay.”
Instead it kicked me in the face
And cried “You fool! You crazy fool!”
Then it dawned on me how overrated the sun was
And it occurred to me that the stars are just as beautiful