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19
19
My Baby just called.
Bummed that the
Plasma Bank turned her away.
Veins too damaged for a Give.
Her blood no longer worth $40.

The Silence
The Long 
The Empty 
The Long
Moments that tell me she
doesn't have bus fair, because
she lost her job last week.
I paid Her rent. A safe room in
a good house that helps me
sleep at Night knowing she is
warm in this deep of Winter.

Imbued with emotions,
I quiet...
My Center 
My Heart 
My Mama Pain
She tells me she was
near Home last night.
Wanted to see the Kitties.
Lay in her Bed.
That's all Mom, that's all...

The locks have been changed.
She does not have a key.
Finally found a ride home
in the middle of the night as
I drank six hours of sleep.

Heart of My *****  
My Spirit.
Taken from Us
Taken from Me.
Taken from Herself.

My Hurt
My Anger
My Disbelief
That something
stronger than Love
dictates her Desires.
She is only 19.


Copyright © 2015. Fluer de Luna.
All Rights Reserved.

~Christi Michaels~MoonFlower
~Fluer de Luna~
A painful piece to post.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
1. Take care of your teeth and gums
Brush & floss, everyday (Seriously)
Keep your teeth, if at all possible.
They are your very own precious Ivory.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
2. a. Eat well. Do not deny your body
nourishment. Gals, you will want a nice
set of *****. Trust me...eat.
b, Try to not put on too much extra weight.
(no judgement here) Just that it is very
******* your body. Ridiculously
difficult to lose when you're older.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
3. Love the skin you live within.  Try not to
bake your bareness too long in the sun,
or burn your precious epidermis.
Cleanse, exfoliate. Most of all, drink plenty of water and moisturize, moisturize, moisturize
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
4. Hang on to all of your bones.
You will miss them when they are gone
Take care of your hands, neck, hips and knees.
Once your joints wear out, it's a total ******.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
5. Keep movin' and groovin'.
If you stay still too long, you will get stuck
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
6. Find the humor in everything. It is there!
All of life's lessons placed before you.
When all else fails, you can laugh about it.
(Trust Me. Your going to need this one)
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

~Christi Michaels~May 2015~
Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
☆Retrospective☆Sage Advice☆
all information learned by trial and error
I've kept this pain away.
Held it at bay,
since the day
of Your
unwanted
touch.

Now You are old.
I take care,
as this is My loving
duty. Reversal of
roles.

Time has stilled
the tremors
of angst.
Turmoil and
discomfort.

Yet, when bothered,
Your harsh tones
enter My body
and heart,
unwanted.

Perturbation
with words,
accusations that
I was the
troubled one...

Grown Woman
that I am,
I find myself
11 years old
once again


Copyright © 2016. Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved
Go ahead...
   taunt Me
     I no longer matter in the
        doings of Your day to day
  
Go ahead
   distance Me
     seperated by hurts
       which seep into Our tomorrow

Go ahead
   keep moving
     I can no longer catch up to
       Your love so far away

Go ahead
   painful, this place
     of isolation and dispare
       In hopes that you might care

Go ahead
    As I waited
      You chose a different way
         A path not ment for us to share
       
Go ahead
   I need to fathom
      This loneliness that
         I can no longer bear

Go ahead
   without Me
      I am no longer safe
         In the Company of Your Heart


~MoonFlower~Fluer de Luna~
Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
■♡■♡■♡■
It Hurts believing your words  
then finding out it is all a Lie

It Hurts knowing a person I love
can become a person
I would Despise

It Hurts being told you are Clean
then findin' out your *****
It Hurts that you feel Entitled
yet at the same time
feel Unworthy

It Hurts knowing you could Die
be brought Back and Die
Be brought Back and Die
It Hurts wondering
every Moment
of every Day and Night
If you are still Alive


■♡■♡■♡■♡■♡■
~MoonFlower~Fluer de Luna~April 2015
Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
♡■♡■ It Hurts ■♡■♡
●☆●♡●☆●
I hold my breath when
you come to me
Or call me on the phone
Your non~questions rarely being
How are you Mom
But that you need money
You say it is for good things
Like food and clothes
Maybe it will be after...
When you begin to heal

I try and protect my fragile heart
Cause I don't know when
the war will break out that
will tear us again
Carefully packed bags
now ripped and strewn
across the foor
knick knacks fallen
with the slam of the door

On the phone for a moment
longer than you approved.
Punishment of your spite,
ugly names that came at me
like pellets and angry wasps,
while the woman
on the other line
told me it would all be OK
Assured me
over and over
A three minute call
that ended too soon.

Too long for You to wait.
Longer than the Morning
was patient, while you slept
as I lovingly packed your food.
▪●☆●▪

Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
You're a good Man
& I love Ya, I do
Honest, trustworthy and true
Loving father, artistic,
a hard working man
for all these qualities
I love Ya, I do...
it's the nights I have
trouble getting through

Tonight as in last night
and the night before..
The nights of the months
that make so many nights
of our years together. ..
I have missed you dearly
Not for the lack of being present
Nor to support us in
house and home
Yet, the trade you've made to
Libations & Ale
that has left My body and
Heart so Very Alone

••●《■》¤《●》¤《■》●••
~MoonFlower~Fluer de Luna~May 2015~
Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved
Libations & Ale
many nights of these many years
I have traveled this road.
I have traveled this road since first,
I came to be here.

This journey was my awakening
as to the new existence
I would step into.

Foreign to me, the illustrious homes.
Huge dripping willows,
old oaks, and poplars...
Perfectly kept grounds.
Checkerboard patterns left behind
in lush green grass...

This road is winding.
One needs to go slowly.
Families, children, animals, 
all enjoy this path.

The wind blows at this highest point,
up above the glacial basin
that forms the river below.
Once all farmland.
before...
home of
Ojibwa,
Lakota

The Spring.
The Deep Spring of Healing.
Ancient, pouring forth
from the center of the Earth.

This winding
windy road,
brought me to a place of solitude...
an open space.
Land of endless possibilities.

I have traveled this road. 
I have traveled this road
since first
I came to be here.

This road was my awakening as to the
new existence I would step into.

Perfectly kept grounds.
Checkerboard patterns left behind
in lush green grass.

The wind blows at this highest Point,
up above the Glacial Basin,
that forms the river below

Once all farmland.
Before...
Home of
Ojibwe,
Lakota.

The Spring.
The Deep Spring of Healing.

Ancient, pouring forth from the center of the earth.

This spring, that has quenched my families thirst.
This spring, that brought my family here 14 years ago

This road
brought me to a place of solitude...
An open space.
A land of dreams.

And yet..I wonder,
what dreams
will this land hold for Me?
"Miller Spring" as it is known today,
is a pure crystalline-rock aquifer. It has been reveared by all peoples blessed to live within the reach of its sweet water. The tribes of Ojibwe and Lakota shared the spring. It was called "The Sweet Spring of Healing Waters" This spring was also shared with settlers as they arrived. Even as the land was owned, access to the spring was always made accessible.
To this day Miller Spring is available to all who seek it. It's icy cold waters gush forth 24/7 365 days a year out of a well by the side of the road, just down the hill from my home.
In Loving Honor of Joseph Wulf
R.I.P.
Christi Michaels  8-31-2015
☆●♡●☆

Tonight my friend could not breathe
Lungs ravaged from long ago
Served our country as a young man
Shoulders, hip and leg bones
broke by the jungles below

A Harley Man through and through
JFD's became his Corps
Never wavered in his allegiance
to his country or his force

One of the smartest men
I have ever known
Could recite passages from long ago
abreast of topics from far and wide
a history buff so knowlegable

A brother to many, a father to one
Devoted to all he loved
A truer friend could not be had
So very popular he was!!

Joe was my protector
as I was a wild young thing
Was my confidant and
chaperone starting at just 17

Accompanied the first date with
my husband 30 years ago
Gave his blessings that first night~
To my children he was Uncle Joe

The older brother I never had.
Blessed to love him 40 years
My whole being trembles at the
thought of losing him
I weave Love within these tears

☆●●♡●●♡●●☆
~Christi Michaels~April 2015~
Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.

♡●♡●♡●♡    Ode to Joe   ♡●♡●♡●♡
This poem was written upon Joe entering
Hospice. His sisters provided
Constant Vigil and Loving Care.
Joe passed on 8-15-2015
This was read at Joes Military Burial
Fort Snelling National Cemetery
Fort Snelling, Minnesota
8-31-2015
pressed securely between
your bodies
enveloped in warmth and
luscious kindness

I was a Goddess of Love
adored within two brothers arms

pure joy, finding comfort and ease
luxuriating in sensual delight.

I still hear
Our laughter
Our breaths,
Our sighs

laying in the warmth of day...
marveling at the colors of
sunset on Our skin

waking to mornings' stillness
moving gently out of slumber
rolling together as one

three playful puppies
falling into another tumble
gentle tenderness and
sensual delight


~MoonFlower~Fluer de Luna~
Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
Remembering to Remember #3
i watch you
rockin' and noddin'

my heart swoons

rockin' and noddin'
that's all your body can do

blood inside your sleeves
puke and **** on the floor

my mama heart
my mama heart

your precious heart

this mama heart
can't take no more


Copyright © 2017.
Christi Michaels.
MoonFlower Fluer de Luna
All Rights Reserved.
~¤~ω~¤⊙¤~ω¤~

My father told me
this is Love
how two people show
tender feelings for
one another

My father held me
so very close
I had always wanted
To be his Special Girl
Number One in our
cloistered world

My father used his charm
to keep me in his arms
till he was done with me.

Then I became
Uncomfortable
Inconsolable
Unreachable
Unlovable

I beseech abusers everywhere
Please let the children be.

~¤~ω~¤¥⊙¥⊙¥¤~ω¤~
~Moonflower~Fluer de Luna~April 2015~
I beseech fathers, grandfathers,
uncles, brothers, teachers,
bosses, camp leaders,
cleargy and pedophiles everywhere
Please let the children be.
<°>⊙<°>⊙<°>
it seems the last leaf has fallen
final mast no mend~upon the sea
bread in the cupboard
overcome with white and green

what they could take
they took
has been taken
For the moment, all's been lost  
monetary security's an illusion
the reality of what
procrastination and 
misjudgedment cost

time to tend this abandoned garden
release the focus from myself
this physical plane feels haphazard
time to put fear n' panic
up on the shelf

my poetry speaks my heart
allows me clarity,
humbled by wealth of beauty
knowing I am
Blessed with Strength of Self


<°>⊙<°>⊙<°>⊙<°>⊙<°>
~MoonFlower~May 1st 2015~
Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
Strength of Self
I aspired towards being
thoughtful
Since I was a little girl
Watching the other kids~
Helping out in our family's world

I worked towards being
thoughtful
as a young teen
Volunteering my time
Making sure I was never mean

I strived towards being
thoughtful
becoming a young woman
Being there for all my friends
Careful of others feelings

I enjoyed being
thoughtful
When I became a mom
Letting them know how
much they are loved
Making sure my children
grew strong

I thought that being
thoughtful
was a trait I longed to be
yet have managed
thoughtlessly
to push those I love away
from me


Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
Thoughtful ☆●☆●☆ Thoughtless

— The End —