You are my first love
The one that God sent from above
You are my last love
The one I asked of

I am your first
I gave you the love that eased your thirst
I was your last
The loud melody that moved your music into blast

You were my first
My last
I was your first
But never your last

I walked inside the room
All eyes on me
I noticed yours were warm
But I shrugged it off simply

I want to remember every bit of that day
The way you looked sideways
As if looking for someone
But I hid and act as if I was no one

You saw me sitting under a tree
You stared at me as if you really wanted me
You told me things that I wanted to hear
But why did you break my heart dear?

That day
You told me 'let's just run away'
But sideways you looked again
And mumured I don't want you more than just a friend

I'm broken. So broken.
Yet, I don't want to be fixed.
I was smiling while crying by looking at your pics.
Why do I feel so broken?
I ask myself this.
Your Eyes were the reason.
Now this girl's heart is in treason

I hate how good I am in pretending
I hate how good you are at fake smiling
I want to see those eyes
I want to get you off all these lies

I'm just making a fool of myself I know
Because the lie started from me beginning till now
I'm sorry I'm not the one for you
And that I keep wishing you all for myself too

I want to see your smile again
But our chapter ended before "WE" even begin
I guess I can't and won't see it now
'Cause it's my fault I'm trying somehow

I'm sorry I'm at fault I really am
Can you blame me? I'm not as worse as them
This is me saying I love you
I really do
It's just that you can't love me too

I want to look at you
I really want to
I want to talk to you
I really need to

Instead of doing those things
I smiled and fix my shoe strings
I decided to hide and smile
I knew you and her will last for a while

She was all yours
Im here at the back waiting you to fall
If I had the courage?
Would you even acknowledge?

It was such a good day
The lights were perfect
The sky a bit grey
Our roads intersect
But never met in any aspect

my hands trembled as I walk
You asked me if we could talk
of course I said yes
I never loved you less

You asked me about the weather today
I think of words to say
I know this will end bad
This talk is going to be the reason why I'll be sad

"what are we to talk about?"
that is what I wanted to shout
But I kept silent
Pretending that it didn't bother me

"I'm sorry"
that was your first line
"It's not you It's me"
I have heard that before

I hugged you one last time
I cried that night
As I turn my back on you
I silently whispered "I don't wanna lose you"

I imagine you talking to me
I imagine you smiling at me
I imagine you holding me
Cause that is what you are,
Just a pigment of my imagination. A dream.

I want you to stay
The words I was begging you to say
You hold truth in your eyes
But then your mouth tell me lies

Maybe I missed the old days
The love is there I know
Maybe I missed our old ways
I closed my eyes and try to sleep in these dark days

There are voices in my head
I want myself dead
But I remembered the words you said


At the end of the day,

I love you still
I always will

I adored the rain
Maybe because it helps me wash away the pain
I thinks it's because it calms me
I believe its because it helps me

I want to become a rainbow
I want to be the reason you smile after the sorrow
I want to take the pain away from you
Even if you don't want me to

I want to scream and shout your name
I want to curse for falling in your stupid game
I want you to realize that you are to blame
Why this little spark turned into flame

Eyes closed I dream of you
Remembered that everything's too good to be true
Woken up by a nightmare
We aren't together, never were

we talked again these past few days
I then fell again in your stupid ways
I can't wait for everything to begin
As I lay in bed again

As I walk in corners of our school
I saw you with your friends sitting on a tool
You were laughing at what she said
I was shocked, My heart just bled

You saw me approaching you
"hey we we're just talking about you"
I smiled and pretend it was okay
Until she rolled her eyes and smirked in my way

As I lay in bed again tonight
I watched as the stars shine so bright
I cannot help but to agree
that we are not meant to be

Our shoulders met
It was the start of something I'd regret
But then I look into your eyes
It made me forget how to be wise

I wish to see a shooting star
But I looked down and saw your car
You were driving
Inside with her laughing

I wish to see a shooting star
One I can command to erase the feelings I have for you so far.

I wish to see a shooting star
One I can use to never tear apart.

I wish to see a shooting star
One I can tell that I loved you
Even from afar.

My foolish heart you tore apart
I hate your guts
And all your "buts"

Here is one thing
Real or fling
My heart is yours
My Darling.

Its was all a lie
The way I smile
The things I try
The words I say, lie

It was all a lie
The way you looked at me with love
The things you are trying to prove
You, telling me you love me, lie

It was all a lie
The people around me
The expressions I see
The forever you promised me , lie

It was all a lie
My parents
My family
The way they treated me, lie

It was such a good day
The lights were perfect
The sky's a bit grey
Our roads intersect
But never met in any aspect

We were speaking through our eyes
I can't comprehend the truth amongst the lies
You say you don't wanna see me cry
But you can't even answer my question, Why?

You were stealing glances
While I was laughing with my friends
I freaked out but took my chances
Looking behind me
I saw her, very pretty
I realized you weren't even looking at me