Maybe I have to learn
From the falling leaf
And its fading color
As it laughs along
The blowing wind
Despite the fact that
It soon will dies
Just so the tree
Is able to grow
Even greener

I wish I could say I understood
But I don’t
I wish I could know what runs through your head as you lie awake at 4am
But I don’t
I wish I could listen to your voice one last time before you keep quiet forever
But I can’t
I wish I could hold your hand tightly to keep you from leaving me
But I can’t
I wish I knew why you left me
But I never will

I'm sad
I don't know why
I do
It's a lot of things actually
The fear of losing him
The fear we won't be close anymore after this year
If he leaves after this year
I'm not ready for that
I also don't know what to say to her
To ease her mind
To make her feel wanted and that I care
She's my best friend
But I can't  tell her
I'm still afraid of getting bullied
I'm still afraid people are judging me
All the time
It's painful
I'm confused
Hurt
Scared

**BROKEN

Ive just excepted the fact
I can't be more
Than I'd like to be..

I guess I'm just me..
I guess
I just try to hard
For mine own selfish desires

Though I must just let things be ..
Though I want soo much more,

Ive excepted reality!!!