I wonder if they thought I would ever care
Sometimes emotionally dormant,
I live my life like a mannequin
Still in every way...
I wonder if he thought of me or only himself
I wonder if she knew how I would feel
I've made my mistakes and now I'll make a few more...
Try to be okay
Try to be okay
I deserve myself, I served me well
I miss my friends, the ones I would die for
I desire no revenge, I'll dig no graves
All is fair in love and war and
Try to be okay
...so the mind was made for torture
Back track. Remember. Stop. Time pass quickly.
Tears run down the cheeks of the sky,
Grazed by the anguish of the sun
If I could go back in time I wouldn't change you,
I'd change my mind.

I'm weak and can't love what has ruined me
...and can't hate what has all but made me
My mind is sick I made it so
Through lies and misplaced trust I have lost myself
I miss myself, how I used to be
The ones I care for just don't see
I found a love I can not keep
When you realise what I am
You might begin to understand
I'm lonely and sad in the company of the man I think I am
The ability to make people feel how you want dies with time the more you use it
When your emotions fade and you no longer believe in what you say
They see straight through you
People see lies as much as hear them
I am my own worst enemy
I hate myself for my strengths as well as my weaknesses
None of you feel like friends right now
Some of you betrayed me
Even let me down... You could've put your **** in anything.
Yet twice you you took a piece of my puzzle
Singed the edges and deformed its curves
And now it can never be complete
I think that's my fault
Somewhere down the line I let someone down again

I feel lost at times,
Like I'm losing my mind
Everybody else letting loose,
**** dropping, pill popping
'*****' on pelvis grinds
Joint sharing, sniffing ******* lines
Unemployed but still no one has time
Everyone is commited,
But nobody knows why.

I feel lost because
The education system taught us
Mathematics, English
And a bunch of other stuff
But not how to apply for a job
Behave in an interview or
Maintain and mindset
That actually gives a ****
How our voting system works,
Whether we elect our leaders
Or if the system is really corrupt
So was it enough?

If I die tonight,
One scary theory
Is true

If one memory repeats,
For all eternity
I hope it is about you

I am entangled
No I'm entwined
I am pulled closer
Time
         after
Time
can you feel my pulse?
I whisper in your ear
Still pulling me in closer
I feel I think I hear
Our hearts beat a thunder
A pressure takes my breath
Our hearts beat a thunder
I move and you say
*not yet

So
Wilt thou
Let the cold storms
Maul me for our miff?

And
Wilt thou
Watch me drown
In thy angered roaring waves
Of love,for my frailty?

But
What wilt thou
Do,when thine anger
Is hence,and see my corpse
Couching in the cabins
Of these vitriolic waters
With my crust pare?

The
Pox I plagued
On thy heart,I plead
And for mine equally

I
Am a man
But a slave
In the grisps
Of the dim-light of jealousy
And I laboureth its whims absurdly
Day in,and day out
When my sight
Clutch them,hovering around thee

I
Love thee more than more
And it maketh me jealous
Am so, so jealous
I want thee for mine own
Just mine only

Yet
I know not
How to stack thee
Nor idolize thee wholly
This is my frailty,and I know

But I plead thee
leave me not
like a rose
rolling on the boulevards


Jealous
©Historian E.Lexano

Am I inclined to believe,
Or required to deceive
Another trick up my sleeve to make you pleased
With emotions I've presented you with
Contagious like disease
This love I'll infect you with
See how much I can give
See how much you can receive,
*I'll make you believe you can't deceive
What can see right through you