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you posted a coming out video today.
you've left your boyfriend and you're accepting who you are.
I'm happy for you.
I just wish you had found someone else, somewhere else, something else to test the waters on.
After years of hoping, you gave me the chance
to hold you and touch you
and I felt like I could dance all night.
But suddenly, you flipped a switch
and asked
me
not
to
tell
your
boyfriend.
I'm sorry we haven't spoken since then. Maybe I wasn't enough for you. I know for sure that I'm not enough now.
I'm sorry that I can't tell you this in person.
I've come to a realization. I can be angry. I can be hurt. I can be proud. I can be supportive. But I'm afraid that I must be all of these things in silence. I can't be directly involved anymore.
I don't owe you anything
and
you don't owe me.
Consider us even.
Adult life is so surreal.
I am here.
I wake up.
I shower.
Everyone does.
Everyone is frightened.
It is strange to feel that
simultaneously
I am a child
And
I never was one in the first place.
Every crease in her wind-weathered face is a valley she once traversed
For every smile, every time she laughed until tears ran down her cheeks
There is a story, and I'm sure that if you asked nicely,
she would tell you.
She left me a landscape
Barren and desolate
This was on apocalypse, no cataclysm.
Only flowers asked to grow where they couldnt.
I did not get to be angry.
I did not get to yell
Or tell everybody
Or anybody
What you did to me.
I got to sit in silent tears
Watching years pass in photographs
Now ten years past ten,
I have been this old forever now.
ok google
how to express guilt without degrading yourself?
how to apologize?
how to not want to die over minor inconveniences?
please, google
can I be fixed?
how do I help someone if I can't help myself?
answer me, google
how do I figure out how to feel like I am worth the effort?
The oppressor is not just the enslaver
The oppressor is the enslaved
They're the righteous majority that welcome chains
for consistency
Welcome the loss of privacy
for a false sense of safety
Welcome oppression
To support aggression against communities that don't understand why the loss of their lives is justified.

How do you justify the taking of any life?
How will you justify the taking of mine?
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