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If I were to die tomorrow,
You wouldn't pause with sorrow,
Because you'd know your secrets died,
In my brain, and there they'll lie,
Buried underneath my skin,
Burned in my fingertips,
And they scorch with their fire,
Calling out to scream "LIAR,"
You were not a big sister, but a massive fraud,
One who pulled the wool over many's eyes like a shawl,
And now I'm falling deeper into my insanity,
Questioning what was once my reality,
Because surely an angel with spun gold hair,
Couldn't have done what you did with no care?
For how this would effect me for the rest of my life,
And I can tell you with certainty it's caused untold strife,
Now I can't even hear a single word that reminds me,
And conjures an image of you in my brain to see,

Because you are a demon in sheep's clothing,
Waiting to prey on innocent children with self-loathing,
I was just a young child on the outside of it all,
But you made me feel like it was okay to fall,
And so I free dived into the abyss,
And now I'm more ****** up than I can admit,

It's all because you told me don't tell your parents,
And I went along with it, I swallowed all the ****,
You fed me day after day, you manipulative *****,
I hope one day it all catches up to your conscious,
Because right now all I see is me hating me,
And you sitting oh so comfortable and pretty,
Up on your mountain that's so high,
Looking down on all us who would've died,
To do what you said, follow you with blind eyes,
Because you sugar coated all your lies,
And I followed a possessed person over the edge,
And now I'm standing, I've been standing on a ledge,
Deciding do I jump off and see where I land,
Or step back on to safer and more stable ground?
Because now I'm stuck with the feeling of chopping,
Off my own hand to get off the feel of your moaning,
So where do I go from here?
How do I move out of reverse gear?

Because you are a demon in sheep's clothing,
Waiting to prey on innocent children with self-loathing,
I was just a young child on the outside of it all,
But you made me feel like it was okay to fall,
And so I free dived into the abyss,
And now I'm more ****** up than I can admit.
 Mar 2019 Anthony Mayfield
zebra
I distance myself from me
away I move a million miles
beyond the homicidal floor of self
and its narrow dead sticky
fly paper walls

away from chatter castrati
and miraculous mirrors
away from vanity and horror
and the voices of shadow

I distance myself from me
I step from lunary worlds and big blue marble

and I have only
myself
a river of breaths
like transparent shaped hands
dominion of air
in a cage of bones
all petty fetters
If there was one sight
I wish I never saw...
It would be your back
as you walked away
from what we had.
Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with a color.

















Red...
at the start
childhood sweethearts
never were we apart
saving ourselves
playing it smart

now all grown up
saying our vows

it was great
at the start
now nothing but fights
cannot stand the other in our sight
doing things out of spite
sleeping apart at night
in public acting like everything was alright
while thinking of our legal rights

it was great
at the start
we both said
i was yours
you were mine
it was not just a line
now so many signs
we are not fine
through all this time
how could have we been so blind

it was great
at the start
now alone
how could have we known

it was great
at the start
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