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i weave you into the words i write

in the hopes

that there,

you'll stay

out of mind

but there's no hope of getting you out of my heart
you were the first brushstrokes

in the backdrop of my painting

the tangling colors,

colliding like comets

against an inky black sky

every day, with your knife you

peeled away the paint

leaving shadows

in the shape of you

i did not notice

until you were too far gone

the blackness

where your vividness had once been

i felt it

at the core of my being

you can pretend

you were never here

you can pretend

love and hate are miles apart

but i still hold the scraps of that painting

the canvas with

your footprints and

your tire marks and

the smears from your fingers

and i still feel you

at the tips of my fingers
Tiger Striped Jan 30
i should have known

the day you drove the wrong way

on the interstate

to steer clear of your path

we did not have to be in love
for you to leave a hole in my heart
Tiger Striped Jan 30
you were the rising sun

creeping over my horizon,

filling my skies with dazzling bursts

of deep ambers and lavenders and crimsons

sending heat waves coursing through me

brushing the edges of my clouds

your silhouette imprinted on my eyelids

your shadow stuck to my feet

your taste scorched the roof of my mouth

i felt you in every inch of my skin

and i didn't mind at all
Tiger Striped Jan 24
you always had to be strong but i

wanted to believe i could see through you

i traced your outline and

tried not to flinch when you

sliced my fingertips



i quickly learned that love is not fear

fear is when you called me

and told me you didn't love your father

your words wrapped around my throat and

pressed heavy on my chest and i

finally felt you

not in my heart but in

the marrow of my bones



you had seen things that i

could not bear to hear but i

had to bear them for you

and i heard your mother's leg snap

and you shatter on the ground and i

stood over the fractures of you with

my needle and thread and

cried for the parts of you that would

never be the same



and i picked up a shard

and carved your name in my skin so i

could see that rich, romantic red of

blood

but as the tides rose, i

inhaled the ocean water, i

let go of your hand, i

let my tears join the salty expanse

and swore on that night i

would never cry again



the dawn broke and the sun saw

a different world, with

your broken pieces at the bottom

of the sea, and

the soles of my feet have healed, but

you still sleep in the sand, scraping

the skin of those who have strayed

too far from the surface
Tiger Striped Jan 24
when i left

i set fire

to every word i ever wrote for you

so that it meant

as much to me

as it did to you

nothing at all
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