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Theo Oct 2018
I feel dizzy.
I’m trapped in a body that feels out of place.
An illusion of what is perfect to me is not ideal in any case.
And every time I explain myself, my body is paralyzed in fear.
What if you won’t accept me? oh dear.
What if you won’t love me the same? I can’t help it.
I love the souls that belong to my same gender.
I can’t help it. Life was in slow motion but the moment I saw her I heard my heart tic for the first time.
Oh, how slow the clock ticked when I told my mother.
And oh, how fast time went by the first time I kissed her.
A woman.
Not ideal, but perfect for me.
Not the norm, but beautiful to me.
Hypnotize me to see if you can change me.
I’ll wake up the same.
I’ll wake up but still be in a dream that I can’t handle at times.
I don’t want to be a disappointment.
I don’t want to **** this part of me that roars louder than my own voice.
I shiver at the command of obedience.
Because I’ll never listen. I’ve tried to fight it but it’s stronger than me. I have no control.
Without a woman, I feel like I can’t breathe.
And with a woman, I feel hypnotized.
Theo Nov 2018
Music music music come back to me
Someone still loves you
out in the crowd
Your music calls me.

Theo Nov 2018
I feel red today,
on the edge of craving fire.

I felt green yesterday,
like a million dollars.

Hopefully tomorrow I feel purple,
a strange but delightful amount of sweet, less bitter.
Theo Dec 2018
Dear God of Study,
I put my brain in your hands
Help me pass all my exams!

I'll be good all year round,
help my GPA from crashing on the ground.

All I need is a curvy C,
because that's what'll get me my degree.

Theo Feb 14
It's been a while since I've been here.
Missed you.
Just wanted to stop by and say hello, I'm sorry.
You were always the one, so keep going without me.
You'll do just fine.

Love you, bye.
Theo Nov 2018
How do you tell someone that you miss them,
but without hurting them again?
How do you tell someone that means the world to you,
How do I tell you that I miss you without using words?

You always told me I would regret this, but what I regret the most is not being able to share my life with you anymore.

She isn't the one that got away, but
she's the one I pushed away. I'll always be sorry,
I hope you are happy because your smile will forever be tattooed in the back of my mind.
Theo Nov 2018
I look around to find you, in trees, in laughs, in the air.
I always questioned if I was missing out on something,
so I asked one simple question:

What would you tell someone who lost everything?

I no longer look for you because you are always around me,
I no longer look because you are the music I listen to every day and
I no longer look because I don't feel like I lost you, you never left me,  I love you.
Theo Jul 19
We've been rocky
like scissors and paper
fire and water
two opposites craving one thing.

The withered rose on my bed
caresses my feet
The petals remind me of a love
that used to be.

Your touch tattoed
in the back of my mind
Your smell imprinted and
laugh carved on my skin.

We've been rocky.
Theo Nov 2018
Everyone talks about falling in love,
but have you ever noticed how easy it is to fall out of it?
Maybe I'm cold-blooded, maybe my snakeskin doesn't shed because I don't even recognize myself anymore.

Maybe I don't breathe like you do, a different beat, different pace.
I'm so very sorry you have to go through this.

But I survive by eating hearts whole,
that's what snakes do.
Theo Nov 2018
I was cold.
I was afraid when I needed to be brave.
I was hard to love when I needed to be loving.
Losing someone can change you.

I find myself lighter, bolder and more courageous.
Love does this to me, without loving someone else,
I found love in myself.
I love myself.

I find myself dripping love because after drowning,
my pores are overflowing.

I used to be many things.
I used to be.

— The End —