The city is melting in the screams
In the dead of night,
From thick skins to thin skins, 
So accustomed to fearful, bloodied scenes 

As you walk through or past 
blinking in the putrid smokes rising up like an atom explosion  
compelling you to gouge your eyes out 
or rip the flesh off your bones 
You're knocked out in a floundering hill of carcass 

I was there 
I was scared 

Unidentifiable in the crowd adorned with courage
As my people should be 
They targeted me anyway
Emptying the barrel of a dozen revolvers
Hundreds of black-clad Darth Vaders 
besieged my space once taken to be safe 

Gone are those days entrusting 'law and order'
unmasking itself as a little less human 
cutting innocent lives shorter and shorter 
learning that it's after all a shape-shifting demon 

"When I grow up I want to serve in the plice
Fools, you see what they want you to see 
A provocation or condemnation 
And they give you a taste of merciless damnation 

My people play no part in the conflict 
And yet. The demons in blue and green 
orchestrate and construct minefields to **** 
And yet. We don't plan to forfeit 

I say 'We' on behalf of journalists 
I say 'people' on behalf of journalists 
also happen to be People with Emotions 
Finding middle ground when the earth under your feet 
crumbles. Living in Commotion

Power-hungry bodies are dark voids during a war 
because money buys protection 
because status breeds greed 
Empowered bodies are overcome during a war 
because all they feel is pain and fury 
of measures shaking them to the burning core 

They fired shots after shots 
manhandling our right to exist 
Our weapon of choice is the pen
we'll show them
tyranny is so close to its end

every attempt i try to forget all that we created
together in memories infused with sugar and salt,
water and flames, love and enmity,
I fail.

I fail and fail until my world comes crashing down in fear of losing a jewel-
You.
Encrusted with the gleam you inhale me with,
Reflecting on my sun-dazed skin
to cement our enmeshed bond.

A voice.
An image.
i’ve never met your gaze, your deep gaze
but I can.
Yet you disillusion me with your ignorance and
Silence.

i ask, “are you deserving of my love?”
“No”, says my wits
“Always”, says my soul.

unworthy.
I’ve been distant with myself
from what i want to do
places i want to go.

a flicker of flame burns in my flesh
calls out to the ***** moves i make in chess.
its not really me but the
devil wooing me to digress.
God is with me. I’m safe.
but these voiceless words devours my heart
unable to feel anything but below par

believe me, this is the longest war theres ever been
me versus me
not as loathing as the Russians and Americans
The sole vigor of wanting to win
comes from my faith in our Creator
till it plunges into the darkness once more.

never-ending, this **** in the mind
i won’t stop. i won’t stop before its defeated
the Duality of myself turning into a single voice

i won’t stop.

My Monday morning blues receded early
I owe to your touch, a generous touch of
Your dainty words formed as a garden
Painted with care, with love, with you.

The pavements track your footsteps
Those same light strides, ever so careful not to trample on the delicate sprouting life
Growing from concrete. They remember you.

The recluse river we used to reach out to
when either of us needed to disappear
Together.
Far from the world of overwhelming events of hostility, hate and harassment.

To sit and mull over bandaids to these ailments you believed could recover. See,
my intent was to just listen.
Listen to your wise whims of hope of this
Plagued world you incessantly unearth.
Beautiful, I thought.
The look of benevolence on your hands as you spread to the vastness of the dimming sky.
The pitch of ambition in your voice as your lips curve and unfurl to the strength of the pacing tides.
The glistening light of beauty in your eyes as you passionately look into mine and see nothing, but admiration.

Now bringing back those golden moments isn't viable or a breeze. Time has torn a rift between the vivacious vitality of Us.
Closing my windows and stargazing your Touch can only relieve me of my painful sighs.

I think we were perfect
- too perfect.
That's why when we
Exploded,
you left me on earth
to dance with the stars.

Beneath yours
My love lies
I
Don't want
The fire that rips
Open the schism
But
The water that feeds
Souls keeping us
Alive
Our love
Lush

I stood in the storm
and prayed that the rain
would wash away
the want of you.

Oh, how beautiful is your heart.
Smeared with Piper nigrum
now maligned your Delphi art.

Unfolded,
your full-of-**** ignorance.

Saved,
would-be innocent souls

like me.

The incessant turning of cogs in
an instrument ran by heart
Shambles.
Stoic, admonishing words
frolicking about as frail, free-floating petals.
Beneath it all the clamorous tug gibing with the
Very voices you kissed me with.
Cold, but
unwinding the taut flesh.

I stayed
            though.

By your darkest demons, caressing with
Silk comfort.
Imbuing them with a dancing light lull:
your Reign of Melody.

To projectile your serenading strums,
To stretch out your fingers jangling,
on all the metal of the strings;
Gnashing the ivory saws of your teeth
you severed my bones.

I’ve become your music to trifle
I’ve become your naive, small bell boy.
“We’re not two, but one” you’d say. When
You knew all along, this song steered and dwindled
into paleness.

Sour hush.

That risible laugh you say I cause and that you like
That husky voice that you speak in inhales my soul and I'm emptied with everything but love

I don't know what to call this
Butterflies
Random smiles at work

Though never seen you
But there's something about you
Everything you do is
And I admit
Is appealing
Enchanting
My world changes

You think I don't like you
But I do
I do

And it hurts that I
Can't be what everyone wants
Or what anyone needs
And it hurts that I
Can't be what
I want
Or what
I need
Because I'm not enough
And won't be enough
And I'll never be close to enough
And I'm just so **** tired

Yesterday I watched
The sun touch the horizon
In such a way
That even the sky blushed
And I thought about what I'd do
To do something like that to you

Broken bones
Of love
Used to be taut
But now all for naught

What did I do to deserve this
Endure this ordeal
Unasked for
Unprepared for

Beneath the shadows I lie
Torn limb from
Limb
My shut mouth
Made no moan

Silence

Drowning
I see a light
Of hope
To mend the bond

Alas
It faded
Shaded
By the ever-growing cloud
Of hatred
Anger
Separation
Making rifts
Between the loved

Bombardment of needles thrown
From all directions
Twinge you
Bleed you
Every droplet exuding my suppressed despair

Death is an option
But even death has a cost

There is no escape
Only pain
Only pain

I will write
words
 of a world together

into every inch

of your bare skin,

while you sleep

So you wake

to verses of us,

etched into

the blood vessels

of your being

my mother says her

vision is fuzzy
it is 
difficult to move 

she takes more naps 

than she used to 

it seems as i

grow up she 

grows down 

disintegrates 

before me so 

slowly it takes a while to 

notice i am becoming 

the parent as she 

becomes the baby

You’re confusing

To say the 
Least.

And the longer 

I follow your 

Serpentine 

Trail of logic

The more lost 
I truly 

Become

You have sadness that 
hasn’t lifted for weeks 
and I get scared to ask

about it because I know 
I can’t fix it.
I’ve pressed

myself into your skin like

a bandaid but haven’t

been able to soak any of

it up; I place my hands on

every part of your body 
leaving a layer of fingerprints

that will fail to warm you. 

You get quiet when you’re 
sad and the silence drips 
with all the ways I’m useless 
to help.

The crinkled paper of misfortune
Dumped into seclusion
No more will it jab my uneasy heart
But that was just anticipated
It never happened

Floods of tormenting tribulations
Washed away my entombed
Pathetic desires
No more will it surmount reality
But that was just anticipated
It never happened

Echoing lethal voices in memories
Dies with the magic of eternal
Stupor
Now moving forward to posterity
But that was just anticipated
It never happened

Sought love
Youthful aging
Innocence far and wide
Idyllic world
Bloodless demise

But that was just anticipated
It never happened

Mind you
It never will

It happens in a Nano second

when your brain bursts

like a water balloon

and flavored ideas

of Snickers and sour dill pickles

run from your brain

down your arm 
to you hand, 
that magnificent five fingered

tool gifted at birth

then picks up a pen

and scribes the cleverest

inconceivable thought

ever known 
to mankind

yes, 
you have just blown

your own mind

it happens…

December turns to May again;

Dead flowers - do not rise.

In water my reflection’s cast,

but gazing back – Your eyes.

The distance ever so touchable
Yet you're still far afield

The glimmering glitter in your blissful
Translucent almond irises
Waiting to deviate from them
Yet they have imprinted themselves
Now affiliated with my heart

Seeing your lips brimming brightly
Rejuvenating your flawless visage
Embodying my love
Not even half your beauty

Inwardly made you mine
Realistically destined for another

Drastic jaundiced waves
Crashing the shores of heartbreak
Sentiments

Thus the eminent work of
Patience
Silence
Benevolence
Enshrouds my blooming admiration
For you
Unfastening my feigned ethos
For you

I comprehend the significance of dignity and family

But my love
Ceaseless and eternal

But my love
Yours only

Huffing the scent of love
Roaming about

Chronicles the mind
Back
To where it all began

Hush Mind
Before
Inwardly
You subvert

One
Only one
Cries for
Your love

As I.

One
Only one
Prays for
Your soul

As I.

One
Only one
Loves you

For you

As I.

One day
The sea

Will kiss
The shore

The search

Will be

Over.

I love you, yet lack the words to say 
It often seems no matter how I try

I can’t find the proper way to show it 


Did not the rhymes get in the way
and a tear or two fall from my eye

I’d gladly say I love you as a poet



My love grows stronger every day

the sight of you makes my heart sigh
and I need a way to let you know it



Bear with me please, here it goes
since I can’t say it with poetry or prose

I love you, I love you, I love you
nothing more and nothing less


I simply, madly, truly do


Yes, I love you

Curvaceous fringe of her physique
Emphasized by the fuchsia garment cordially shaping her commendable Figure

Impeccable

Fortunate I am in possession of her Wondrous, voluptuous
Breath of life

Where I delicately whistled
Love-permeated air
Now an integrant part
Of me

Hue of
Voices
Sensations
Affections
Accomplished with every touch she grants

"Silence will suffice your devotion of love" I retort
When impotent she is
To declare her love

Don't complain
Don't ask

Just love me
Till I die

Once again 
you have intruded- 

forcing my attention from 

painful 

self recrimination



You always appear

With your beautiful words

Like uninvited roses

Or- Sunstreams

Piercing the clouds

Once upon a time,
The night of rendezvous with him
Went like the scent of daisies everliving.

Eyes...
Selectively rising to meet mine
Wearing meek and hesitant makeup
Concealing the flushed feelings
Towards one another.

Lips...
Enjoined to avoid bursts
Of cackles loving the latter's
Oblivion
Dissembling yet verifiable
Between us.

Alas, 'eternity' shall never persist
For this remains a pipe dream
Shackles of his indifferent family
His aura bipolar to mine
Alas.

Carpe Diem
A sole motivator
Diminishing the mirage of hopelessness
Flourishing his debonair charms
Spell bounded and cherished

Today.

The End
Far afield

The Story
Began to see daylight

Cords are becoming loose,
Affections floating the boat
To the island of Disappointment

Oxytocin no longer rushes
Staying stagnant
Until a trigger releases the manacles
Tied stiffly

Assumed there is a chance
But you waived the golden opportunity

Embarked on the journey
Of self-indulgence
Into your picked avenue

Casanova
Betrayer
Narcissist

Hypocritical Not I
But you showed me
I will decry

Something draws me down on earth
To you

Something invokes the inner compassion
For you

Something wakes in silent longing
To be with you

This sleepless spirit yearns the fuel of your caressing graze
your melodic voice
your anguish to abridge and
Protect you from any harm

O Love
Return with your arms full of warmth
And never leave

For I'm your gravity
Burying your love in my heart

Clogging real life,
lost in the Great Barrier Mind.

It's attacking,
Again.

Never seen,
Never touched.
Yet this affection,
Grows stronger.

Everyday.

Inquisitiveness
Of his whereabouts,
Appearance,
Temperament and
His love of religion.

Who is he?
Descendant?
Age?
Every detail,
Unknown and
Unseen.

Yet I profusely yearn.
Yearning for his bejewelled devotion.
Yearning for his inimitable self.
Yearning for his yearns for me.

That is
If it subsists.