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Elsie Plum Sep 14
And neither of us are new at this I presume
I’ll spit out the window till I’m out of spit (too soon)
Elsie Plum Sep 14
Here I am I don’t know what to write down Im writing about it again what will it be this time drunkenness or how ******* hard it is to want to be sober how its not hard at all to make the right decision but ohh how its hard to know it when your head is so full of **** or my childhood again maybe or maybe how I feel alone in the world so full of people but are they even real would it even make a difference if they were or weren’t plus ill never know anyways I bet, I have to put it all on faith that im just crazy again today, that im LOSING it but im sturdier than the sturdiest people I know who go to college OR have a career ******* it, or my friends who like to smoke pills ******* that, what is that that’s thinking you’re sturdy it must be. I want to be the one who knows what other people dont know so I can show them that nothing matters its a dream not any kind of nightmare loop please eat some fruit SHARE your fruit trees when you have enough of them and if you like to kiss wow that can be so much fun no matter how many times you’ve kissed the same person just pretend you never kissed them before your cheeks will ******* flush I promise. I know how to live a little and I think that’s all im here to do is live, so what’s the ******* hold up why do I feel so dead so tired and like my body is crushed all the time so achy and it cracks, sometimes ill feel a sharp pain in one spot on my body one in another part and its like two Nerve endings ******* died, what the hell. When I stand up im dizzy as ****, sometimes I see nothing but black for about 4 seconds before the light comes back. I wonder if my pupils turn tiny tiny when that happens, lets no light in. I want someone to tell me next time If my pupils do that. I get headaches but its like a quick throb in different areas of my brain just one area for a second, something like that. I smoke a lot, I like a drink. It doesn’t help me grow though, its a bit of a blessing that liquor does the body no good. If it had no effect but the effect on my spirit I wouldn’t learn a **** thing about growth I would be a loud ***** 247, caring and very kind but I would not learn to be better than a loud person that cuts everyone off. I dont want to forget what their words made me want to say but that excuse gets me so far when I drink. When I am sober, consciously sober because im trying to learn something, I stopped interjecting other peoples drama stories with my own drama stories or what their drama reminds me of I just listen until I talk and if I forgot what I was gonna say 45 seconds before that’s ok the time to say what I could’ve said has already came and gone, go with the flow of conversation and it will get you farther on the path than an alternate route will. Although there’s more adventure in those routes, not everyone must take them with you elsie. Those are reserved for adventurers. I do not like when people interrupt me, so I do my best to give that respect to others. What the **** anyways, not even drunk ******* like an interrupter, they wanna get to the point of their story most times and most of all. They are the best adventurers because they find hidden pathways that were always part of the one you’re already on they’re perfect. I would love a drink if it didn’t hurt my body i would love to be the perfect drunk I hate that truth I ******* have to hate it because I want it and now and in my belly my brain and blood I want it to be ******* bitter with no consequence so drunk out of my mind kissing him and playing with my **** all drunk its like so drunk I forget that I don’t like my **** and I love them but my ******* gets hairy sometimes get over it ALL girls have buttonhole hair, ******* im sober and wish this weren’t the everlasting TRUTH above truths that this **** is a danger to me and that im very very weak tonight
20:46 pm = 12= 3
Elsie Plum Sep 14
Put my ******* on a diet

Was your need not blood?

Black walls with shiny black tiles

Whistle whistle whistle
Elsie Plum Sep 14
Been in a weird head space the last week, and part of it brought on loneliness so if I made you feel uncomfortable I’m sorry. It might just be in my head, but I hope we’re cool.

And if I didn’t, that’s great. I’m just unsure if my offness was noticeable or taken the wrong way.
This is literally terrible and so cringe 20:38 pm
Elsie Plum Sep 14
Nothing rhymes within this hymn we’ll see you another time (In hell *******)
Elsie Plum Sep 14
Dream I had: Iris’ kitchen, messaging chance on Instagram but having a hard time. It’s stressful. Niko wants me. Luke things we are good together. Sam wakes me up with a phone call
20:33 pm
Elsie Plum Sep 14
Make sweet love in Oxnard
I used to spit on my shoes a lot
Now I spit on my open toed sandals
I’m not mad that you feel the way you feel
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