because even when
you've hurt me the most
i'm still awake at 2am
wishing you were here

Fear is like a plague.
There’s no getting away from that aching
feeling of uncertainty that follows you
everywhere you go, finding you
even in the smallest of corners.

Fear is like a fire that you can’t tame
because trying to put it out only makes it grow
stronger and although people tell you
to face your fears, once it sets in,
spreading faster, is there really a way
to get away from something once it has
complete control over you?

You grow up with the pain of fear.
Fear that nothing good will ever come
because that’s just how the world works.
The pain, the depression, and the rejection
can easily be masked with a small smile
that says you’re fine.

It gets to the point where that small smile
becomes the biggest lie in the world;
a lie to deceive anyone and anything that
it comes in contact with.

Yet, no matter how big the lie may be,
it holds the power to make something
good slowly turn into something bad;
where the lie not only deceives
everyone else but also
ourselves in the end.

Lies about who we’re not become
truths about who we are to become.

The world works in ways where
the truth is a lie and a lie is
the truth if you’re willing to believe it.
They get tangled into such a web where
you no longer know the difference
between the two, only causing misery
in the long run.

It gets so etched into your mind
that you lose who you are to it
and once that happens,
the day has arrived where
you may wake up in the morning,
look in the mirror and no longer recognize
the stranger in front of you.

It’s the day you realize that so much time
has passed that the person you once were
is no longer who you are.

You won’t know the difference between good or bad,
you won’t know who you had been,
or what you had become.

There’s no starting over,
no returning to what use to be;
all you have is that one moment and
you live inside that same moment until
the deception finally kills you over.

i miss how it used to be
when the stars brought light
into the dead of the night
and the words that i wanted to say
didn't seem so far away

i miss how it used to be
when the raindrops had a rhythm
that could put me to sleep
and the music that we played
helped us dance the pain away

i miss the way it used to be
when love was a gift for all;
so graceful and pure
and the past didn't always seem
to be haunting your every dream

i miss how it used to be
when it seemed almost impossible
to be trapped inside your mind
and your friends didn't so easily
believe all of your lies

i miss how it used to be
when the purpose of life was clear
and your canvas was missing
the scars that hold a permanent place
on both of your wrists

i guess i miss how it used to be
when we were just kids
so innocent to it all
and the world seemed so
big and full of wondrous things

when you lose someone
it stays with you,
leaving a hole in your heart
where that person used to be

there's no getting away from
that aching feeling of loss
it haunts you no matter
where you decide to hide

when you lose someone,
no words can describe
how it truly makes you feel
in the darkest of the night

how is is possible to talk
about a feeling deep within
a feeling that can only
be described as unspeakable

when you lose someone,
time doesn't heal all the wounds
it simply hides them
but the wounds always remain

but somehow it all changes
you don't just lose someone
because in the end
you lose yourself too

war is mellow
is the deepest of lies
nothing takes you away
from the feelings inside

men go to war
it’s what they have to do
a simple slip of paper
with horrors brought too

a senseless battle
bringing death into the night
just a couple of young guys
with a newfound love of life

we fight to bring peace
and ease troubled minds
a place so unfamiliar
that we’ve come to reside

the truth gets lost
so tangled into the lies
who the really enemy is
is something the government hides

sometimes it’s hard
to miss home so much
tranquilizers to take you away
from death’s single touch

a war inside the jungle
with nowhere to hide
quickly becomes a war
inside our own minds

If you never take the risks
During your journey,
You will never make it to
Your destination.

You told me that you were
Going to find yourself

As you walked into the ocean,
You never looked back

Every night I wished to the stars
That you would return

I must have been wishing to the moon
Because you never did

I was never one to open up
Until you came into my life
For once there was somebody
Who understood all my pain

But happiness can only last so long
And friendships are the same way
Saying goodbye is the hardest part
But it seems like everyone has to leave

I'd gotten used to the pain it had caused
Until you were the one walking away
And the worst part of it all
Was that you didn't even say goodbye

I was left wondering where you went
Wondering why you decided to go
A year has pasted since that fateful night
And it haunts me to this day

You push people away
The moment that they get close
Like you don't want them to care
About the pain you deal with most

I need you in my life
And I'll wait until the very end
Because I can't think of anyone else
That I'd want as a best friend

Let's write a script.
One that makes this world pretty.
One where the trees still tower above all else,
and the golden sunflowers still sparkle with morning dew.
The script will tell of animals in harmony,
and the oceans, a dark crystal blue.
It will fill our hearts with life.
Our souls with light.

Now, let's tell the truth.
Of how the air is full of gray and dispair.
How the trees can no longer tower,
for they fall to their very death, each
and every day.
Truth shows the sunflowers,
only a pale yellow, dying along with the hope.
Animals cannot harmonise, for
competition for a home, looms black
and ominous above all.
The truth is filled with words of the hopeless seas.
A reality of black nothingness and waste,
suffocating.
Our hearts die slowly and
fade, our souls soon to follow.

With nothing real or true to cling to,
we drink in the greed.
Minds weighted down with the metals
that recreate this earth.
We struggle forward still,
until we've lost ourselves completely.
To our very own vanity...

A whisper.

Then silence.

A new life begins.