I wonder who keeps you up at night?







Certainly not me.
Not anymore.

you tore me away from reality
with simple sentences
and idiotic jokes

you made me forget
everything

I didn't know what to think

or what to do with myself.

I guess I just ended up becoming yours.

now you've broken
everything

you've broken everything and you expect me to pick up the pieces

I will
I can guarantee that

but I can't guarantee that I will find all of the pieces

some will be lost,

maybe even broken smaller.  

some will have been stolen,

by nightly visits or maybe
close relatives

and I know we might be able to get them back but

I don't want to scrape my hands picking up the glass that you broke

I don't want to work for something and go against people while you're sitting in your high chair waiting for some gratification

I don't want my blood all over your floor
when I know you're not even going to help

I don't want to feel
guilty
or vulnerable
when we talk

but I guess that's how it goes

because humans have needs that need to be fulfilled

no matter how hard it is for someone else to fulfil it for them.

I distract myself just to end up back in this prison cell you chained me in; thirsty for an explanation
Starving for freedom

"Let me go," I say-

Right as you walk away.

The sun came up
I came to
you looked at me
I couldn't look at you
you drove me home
we said goodbye
I went inside
tried not to cry
I checked my phone
no text, no call
my eyes got wet
I let them fall
tears began to pour
I could feel my heart break
I cried on the floor
til it turned into a lake
I went for a swim
had a bottle of wine
your life went on
and so did mine.


*s.mndi

It was clear even in the beginning who would end up leaving who.
Its pathetic that I was content with just being an object in your view.
I was merely another toy on the shelf with the rest you outgrew.  
I pretended like it wasn't inevitable but here you are, completely through.
And look at me, still writing about you.