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Evelyn Silver Aug 2016
Love, such a sweet fragile thing
Everlasting, but short-termed
A commitment to care
A recipe for disaster.
Evelyn Silver Dec 2015
It started gentle and subtle,
a light kiss upon my soul;
euphoria's kiss.

A smile broke,
my blood shimmered,
my heart leaped.

What could this possibility be?
Euphoria's kiss, my dear, is none other's than your own.
Evelyn Silver Dec 2015
My head, my heart, they are empty,
producing, containing nothing.
Yet, they are stuffed to the max,
flooding with thoughts, emotions, worries, hopes.
How can one be so empty, yet so full?
I am a ghost existing,
alive and dead in this twisted world.
They drain us of vitality and fill us with emptiness.
We are the lost.
Don’t bother looking for us,
we are already gone, found.
Evelyn Silver Dec 2018
I pace back and forth
Needing to move, needing do
By my own designs I am trapped
For I am the architect of my own life, no one owns me
I'm not free though
Its quite the beautiful cage I've designed myself
With gilded promises of happiness I coaxed myself in
I should have known that golden shackles are still shackles
Evelyn Silver Apr 2016
How is it, that I'm so perplexed?
You utterly confuse me
Your words, your actions, your motives...
They leave me dumbfounded.

It's always a game of guess and check
Except, I'm never right
How is that?

Do your words have a double meaning I fail to catch?
Perhaps there is no double meaning,
I'm pondering apparitions.

I'm slowly going mad,
Trying to figure out your game,
A hamster on a wheel,
Spinning and spinning in circles, dizzied.

You are my greatest challenge,
My 1,000,000 piece puzzle,
My epiphany forever out of reach,
My unsolvable riddle,
My terrible sphinx,
You will never reveal the solution, will you?
Evelyn Silver Apr 2018
I proclaim myself independent, proud, firmly in control,
What a deception.
I want nothing more than to abandon every shred of independence,
In place of you.
I beg you to see your my feeble attempts to distance myself from you,
Seize me.
I know you’ll probably just end up hurting me all over again,
I care not.
I take such a lurid pleasure in surrendering to another,
Despite the consequences.
I feel shackled by my own autonomy and pride,
Free me.
Evelyn Silver Oct 2016
I hasten towards you,
Induced into some fit of self destruction;
Shouldn't I know better by now*?
Evelyn Silver May 2016
I'm terrified
Standing on the edge
Unsure if the fall
Will yield pleasure or pain.

My feet inch forward
Even as I lean backward
My mind, my heart are torn
One fears, the other desires.

Will I take flight
Wings of freedom
Glorious, fiercely beautiful
Holding me aloft
Giving me new strength
Soaring to unknown heights?

Will I fall instead
The terrible moment
Before the impact
Where one anticipates
The soon reality
Shattered bones
Crushed hope
Bottomless depths?

Am I willing to jump
Even for you?
Is the risk worth it?
Are you worth it?

I feel the fragile earth
Beneath my feet
The empty air calls to it
My choice may be made
Decided by fate
Sealed without my consent
As the earth gives
Into the void
I fall to you
In love
The chasm is filled.
Evelyn Silver Dec 2015
The madness, the darkness has come seeping in,
once again I am burdened with my sin,
The thoughts, they swirl in a crazed tempo,
beating against my skull with the desperate fury of a dying heart.

I am drowning under a tide of pensive dispair,
Struggling to even gasp for air,
Oh! I lament my own awareness,
my jealousy is reserved for the blind.

Surely, I must be mad!
How could I not be with such anguish I am clad,
One true question remains.
Will I fade, implode, or explode with such force as to devastate my own?

Run! My darkness is no longer a flame lazing,
but an inferno blazing,
We all have our afflictions, mine is thought.
Evelyn Silver Jan 2016
I find it hard to write of the light,
darkness has set its roots into me,
I want to write of the light,
but the stain, the shadow haunts me.

The problem is this: my words do not come at will,
only at the beckoning of fierce emotions,
my joy is forever diminished by pain,
all light is shadowed,
dulled, made useless.

I know I am not the only sufferer of this affliction...
yet that offers little consolidation
to one who loves the light, but belongs to the darkness.

— The End —