new energy has been arising in me lately,
with determination and a clearer state of mind
confidence has found a home in my bones, safety
i used to write poems about anxiety
hopelessness, defeat, the struggle through each day
but recently those feelings have gone away
fresh perspectives fill my eyes and ears
at times i feel like i am being tricked
someone is going to appear and hand me all of those feelings back
laughing at me, she really thought she would get out that easy
but it wasn't easy, i should give myself credit
so much time and effort
went into easing my mind, telling it everything will be alright
Rose handed away
Wishing it was saved
The wrong companions
My gentle soul.
Falling into place
Increasing desire for
Within my growing heart
The missing pieces
In female form.
Restlessly observing a stagnant drove
Youngsters complacently waddle as
Elders spike the pipes with bitterness
Resenting advancement and ambition.
Your dullness dissatisfies
Absence of desire disappoints
Concealed or forgotten
By a drivel of dust.
Seeping into my mind
During those quiet moments
I cannot find
Of this underlying agitation
That unsettles my balance
I cannot remain calm
Loss of self control
Mind screaming, placing the blame
Realign my soul.
Written in 2016 when my mental health was much worse. Things have since got much better. I still experience anxiety but the tables have turned and I have it much more under control; it no longer controls me.
sunflowers turn their heads
away from their father:
both to sulk in shame, and to cast their swollen faces
upon the one who transcends them
a vision of yellow
with flowers on her feet
in the rising heat,
hair reflecting a halo.
i feel like writing poetry, i tell you.
i am inspired by your
essence, your presence
and the sunflowers watching from afar
a sparkle bringing even more light
to your face, tells of a mirrored love
and the waves wash over me
more content than contentedness itself.
— The End —