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"Aftermath"

I searched,
only to find myself lost

grasped,
and paid the heavy cost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" Fall "

Rescued by him on a chilly night
yet deep in my breast I knew it was not right,
so I fled as my feet took flight.

Despite his cherub face and curls draped in laurel,

I whispered in desperation a plea to the river,
my ever watching father.

"Save me father, for chastity is worth far more than all the treasures at Delphi, I mustn't lose hold of it.

"Dear child, I must strip you of your femininity and youth; however, this brings me only sorrow".

Swept up by the howling winds
thunder crashing and flashing against a frightful sky,

cascading hair becoming leaves
soft skin transforming into bark
sturdy inviting legs now dampened roots.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Spri­ng"

There I was frozen in time,
a tree blooming with laurel.

Each day he rested against me,
playing his flute and falling drowsily into sleep
as I watched over the arrow he cherished above all else.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Winter­"

I burdened the bitter cold,
waiting for his return.

Never again would he lay his golden eyes upon my twisting bark,
even Spring with her warmth and splendor could not sway his mind back to his beloved tree goddess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" The awakening"

It was in this painful moment
I realized chastity was not my grandest possession,
but rather it was my freedom which I foolishly discarded with no hesitation.
4d · 241
Red moon
let the blood spill,
as men get their fill.

women swell with the seed of love,
as they release the fragile white dove.

peace and refuge,

brutality and vengeance

keep civilizations turning,
and humanity yearning
He will most likely break my heart,

for my heart shatters easily
tears swell
my thoughts tend to dwell;

however,
I willingly trade the experience of intimacy
for the pain that will inevitably ensue
I have parted ways with you in my mind

for you brought me sparse fulfillment,

primarily grief.

Rivers of deep sorrow,
A rusty compass
which pointed me in the direction of illusion
Sep 7 · 19
Tale as old as time
Eva Aloezos Sep 7
I now wear the wreath of a queen.

A rosy tint with no glasses,

what previously felt slow as molasses
is now a gentle kiss from the winds.

The nymphs guide my spirit along chilly air,

the chaos that once was, has dwindled away.

A tale as old as time,
and I possess the key to the riddle.
Sep 5 · 37
Iris my love
Eva Aloezos Sep 5
Iris gleams as she looks down upon earth,

my rainbow
my inspiration
the genesis of my imagination,

the flame which fueled all creation.
Sep 1 · 33
A question of time
Eva Aloezos Sep 1
After six turbulent years

I have finally healed from depression.

I am lucky
and pure.

Child like
and full of wonder.

Light
and airy.

Optimistic
and witty.
Sep 1 · 35
Destination
Eva Aloezos Sep 1
As your thoughts become those you once considered impossible,

and the sun sets on an old time of misery:

look inquisitively to the vast sky of Ouranos,

rejoice the healing touch of the medicine man,

look below at the mountain you have conquered and breath a sigh of relief;

for you have reached your destination.
Aug 31 · 30
May 5 (for Meeka)
Eva Aloezos Aug 31
My mystical child
is
as wise as the rippled river,

majestic like the aged mountains,

beautiful as a hundred doves gliding across a morning sky.

My companion and muse.
Aug 30 · 28
Mastery
Eva Aloezos Aug 30
Finally I learned the flame burns without having to touch it,

I now know what is below
without plummeting off a cliff,

content not discovering
what if.
Aug 27 · 32
My astronaut
Eva Aloezos Aug 27
I loved a man who traveled to the moon

often I think of his bubblin’ spoon,

oh how I wish he could hold me soon.
Aug 27 · 86
The year of reckoning
Eva Aloezos Aug 27
It has come,
that which I have anticipated for seasons on end.

it has arrived,
and I stand bravely to receive it.

Out goes depression,
along with excess self doubt
followed by self sabotage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The year of beauty is here,
dulling the fear of dreaded failure.

Wisdom waits on my doorstep,

Diligence taps on my window at night,

and Contentment whispers to me through the wind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The year of purity has begun,

love and self-sacrifice
attentiveness over strife,

that which I have waited for all my life.
Eva Aloezos Aug 21
I am tying up loose ends
making amends,
reluctantly parting with the bend

all to walk upon the straight and narrow.
Aug 20 · 38
Future
Eva Aloezos Aug 20
The future will bring fruitful outcomes,

in the place of harvest moons there will be rising suns.

pain will tap our shoulders on occasion,
shame will whisper through our ears;

however,
they will come and go
as they naturally should.

They will not fester
gnawing away at our minds.

The future will be a clear reflection of resonating truths,

a time of fall beauty
and
the clarity of winter.
Aug 18 · 44
Time has come
Eva Aloezos Aug 18
I should stay not a moment longer,

for it is time to move along.

Autumn summons me to

face the sun blind eyed,

climb the hill,

answer to the moon

while moving mountains

along shorelines of self discovery.
Aug 6 · 124
Labyrinth
Eva Aloezos Aug 6
As history plays on a continuous loop
there will always exist

corruption and pawns,

dust patches and manicured lawns,

lions and fawns,

ominous dusks and enlightening dawns.

Mankind will go on...

stumbling

tumbling

longing

embracing

loving

and destroying,

through the labyrinth of life.
Eva Aloezos Aug 1
this is not a poem; however, I do not have social media so I have no where to share thoughts that I think should be passed along. This my truncated experience of depression on and off for the past 5 years.

Now let me say this, I am in a sort of unique situation given I also have temporal lobe epilepsy. Having seizure’s in the temporal lobe lives side by side with depression and mood issues. None the less if you suffer from depression I think this could be of help to you.

First off,
When I say depression I do not mean feeling sad occasionally. I mean no longer being able to function. Losing many parts of who you are, hiding in public, unable to get out of bed, fighting the same narrative on loop in your head day after day, debilitating amounts of guilt, and the worst of all doubt and shame.

I had my first seizure at 14 and slowly became more depressed. By 16 I had full on depression. From 17-21 I would have on and off depression. On for a year, off for 7 months.

I am notoriously stubborn which might explain why for 5 years I never even considered taking an anti-depressant. I was convinced that people who tried SSRI’s had given up on their natural ability to internally fight anything. I thought to myself hour after hour, day after day, month after month that I would miraculously snap out of this bizarre phase. I thought I could think my way out of depression, because depression is a neurological issue that disrupts cognition (in many cases, not all).

This past spring my depression and sense
of self ceased to exist. I finally decided I cannot do this anymore, I am exhausted. So I started a low dose of an SSRI.
It has changed my life. I seriously advise anyone who has severe depression, (especially along with neurological damage) to give it a try. I know your instinct is shouting no; however, I have come to find it can be as simple as a neurotransmitter firing wrong to keep us disabled due to depression.

Depression is our mind going into hibernation, while deep down counting on a glorious spring somewhere in the distant future.
Jul 31 · 49
Balcony of red roses
Eva Aloezos Jul 31
Welcome to the dazzling crystal palace of the white queen,

meanwhile across the land...

The red queen’s head size has altered her perception of reality and herself.
Jul 29 · 52
Ελλαδα
Eva Aloezos Jul 29
Greece is gold,
with skies of the bluest crystal.

Mountains ruled by crickets,
vast land of dry evergreen.

Rustic churches sit upon dazzling rock hills.

Orange sun with rays strong as the olympic torches.

Raven haired women,  
strong older men with thriving white hair.

Greece heals me in the most peculiar of ways,

as days melt into nights
and a breeze runs across my salt touched skin,

I feel amongst my kin
and ravishingly beautiful
Jul 29 · 235
Never to be fair
Eva Aloezos Jul 29
He said I always had the prettiest lighters
the mind of a natural born fighter,

and each afternoon looked upon me with awe as I brushed my hair,

One cloudy day I found him pouting into my mirror
as he solemnly told me life isn’t fair.
Jul 25 · 162
Mary
Eva Aloezos Jul 25
Mary told me I must let her go

she came to me in the dark and whispered,

“you thrived without me before,
you can surely do it once more”.
Jul 24 · 51
Celeste’s woe
Eva Aloezos Jul 24
He said he’d meet me on the other side,

mean while

I woke up,
he never did.
Jul 23 · 138
Yarn bracelet
Eva Aloezos Jul 23
Stephen lived on the corner of 43rd street,
bogged down by defeat.

Stephen told me I had the hair of a girl in a commercial he often fantasized about.

Questioned whether or not possessing a pretty wife with adoring children was favorable to his life..

I peered cautiously into his sunken blue eyes
as he spoke:

“Darling, alcohol is my best girl”
Jul 21 · 39
Showering with Alex
Eva Aloezos Jul 21
I cup my lathered hands
massaging his *****
as he calmly stands,

alex washes my hair
with love and care.

We climb into bed
wish the world away
as the trees sway,
and rain taps on my window
Jul 21 · 153
The world will not wait
Eva Aloezos Jul 21
There is a particular pain that accompanies childhood emotional abuse,

a pain which

causes one to sob into a pillow in the dead of night,

to feel deep sorrow for one’s siblings in a heart breaking way,

to wonder what one might have been had they not been touched by it.

Yet
the world waits for no man,
and one must simply carry on
Eva Aloezos Jul 1
Vines slip
down the walls

as the clocks toll,

birds trill
echoing thrill
of a long forgotten day dream,

a vision I once had
of everyone simultaneously going mad

led me down a trail of thought which met no end,

I pondered

dragonflies

and

dewy grass fields hit by the light of  daybreak,

reminisced about the pain which is darkness

and the joy in delight,

which shines bright in the face of human intimacy
Jun 26 · 47
reflecting on a deck
Eva Aloezos Jun 26
I love Meeka with the fire of a hundred suns,

purer than all the nuns.

Rather  sit by her gazing at fireflies twinkling against an indigo sky
than see the seven wonders,

for when I look deeply into her eyes I see all the beauty, magnificence, glory, joy, and nature that this world has to offer.
Jun 25 · 131
castle walls
Eva Aloezos Jun 25
Murky Woods
~~~~~~~~~~~
I stumbled upon idle hands which the devil made his play things

as I peered fearful and defiant into the eyes of a wretched creature,

I fled the despair.

                              Storm of Fireflies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I climbed into the hills of forever,
fell into an ethereal room

lamp of crimson crystal
gleaming against coconut scented *******,

velvet thunderstorms gift me a dreamy sleep.
Jun 17 · 190
Fly the coop
Eva Aloezos Jun 17
His bird-brain sprung from the metal of it’s cage and flew steadily away,

what ensued sparked mayhem throughout the land..

bands no longer sang the blues,
nor did they play tunes

the songs which
inspire humanity to persevere
through the bizarre rat-race we all fear
Jun 17 · 58
Good man
Eva Aloezos Jun 17
It is not clear whether

the empath in me is clouding my vision,

or

I am simply too harsh and am failing to see that he in fact is a

good man.
Jun 15 · 160
Tweet
Eva Aloezos Jun 15
Wake up
tweet,

retweet
repeat,

take a picture of all that you eat
gaze at strangers you’ll never meet.

kneel at the alter of group think,
offer up your mind to the narcissism machine that is social media.

For life is plagued with lows
and touched by the silver lining of highs,

enjoy each moment without seeking validation,
our time on earth is brief so pay less attention
to the screens which cause the world to never truly be seen.
Jun 10 · 65
On the hour
Eva Aloezos Jun 10
I turned over the hour glass,

red sand cascading
like my blood which I poisoned for many years

Turning over a new leaf can be daunting,
yet nothing supersedes the joy which accompanies self improvement
Jun 10 · 185
crying in a dark room
Eva Aloezos Jun 10
You’re a gas lighter

a frightening fighter

so
I
spark a
lighter,

to combat childhood pain which culminates in free flowing tears
Jun 8 · 138
Fidelity
Eva Aloezos Jun 8
Take me to the memorable space
in turquoise and lace,
for there is no place

I’d rather be.

Below the trees
perched on rocks,
across the shimmering lake
please take

me there.

Where our connection was born
the genesis of creation
admiration which required no explanation

off the beaten track
how I wish I could travel back
to the time before our love was put to rest

I sit alone
countless sins to atone

for I was young and naive,
leading you to believe

I was capable of devotion.
Jun 4 · 110
Search
Eva Aloezos Jun 4
June 3rd 2019,

You will be forever remembered,

for today is the day I found myself
in a place I least considered looking
Jun 3 · 92
Untitled
Eva Aloezos Jun 3
All my vices have been vanquished

no way left to alter the chemicals in my brain

no longer able to momentarily feel satisfied.

At least there is no where left to go but up
when you begin from your baseline brain
May 28 · 115
My Dalia
Eva Aloezos May 28
Dalia was a doll
not for her looks,
rather for the books
which fueled her imagination

Dalia crashed into an illusory world,

lost her mind

and has yet to stumble upon it
Eva Aloezos May 28
guarding your chest with a cross can make one feel quite powerful,

for the grand comfort in make- believe can be rather intoxicating
May 27 · 131
nameless cherub
Eva Aloezos May 27
He sang Donna,
as the heavens peaked in with curiosity,

we embraced underground
hiding amongst the shadows,

for the skies
aimed to carry him away
before my guileless eyes
May 26 · 79
Crystal day
Eva Aloezos May 26
Perhaps I have fallen prey to many of the fable wisdoms

failed to heed my conscience

ignored the struggling for truth within;

however,

love will reign
beauty shall soar
we’ll clasp hands ever more

on a windy blue crystal day
May 23 · 360
New york city
Eva Aloezos May 23
The air shatters,
weighed down by heavy pollution

the streets bubble with the rage and oppression which plague humanity

Lost souls wander,
mindlessly chasing their antiquated   dreams

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                         ­  Heading home

bursts of light!
honey suckle air

enveloped by the green forests of virginia,

natural beauty that shines with rays of the purest gem
May 23 · 72
Conqueror
Eva Aloezos May 23
I drew the curtains,
accomplishing that which I’ve failed to do for years

evaporating tears
straightened spine
optimistic smile,

a pathway of new trials
leads me to believe

I can conquer depression.
May 21 · 46
Untitled
Eva Aloezos May 21
I will never feel shamed by the opinions of those who claim love for a pet is not sane,

I feel sorry their well of compassion and connection is so dry they aren’t capable of loving an animal
May 20 · 118
sksam
Eva Aloezos May 20
after stepping into the same lake twice
my preconceived notions of all that was and is yet to be fell on it’s head.

the ***** became heart
clubs transformed into diamonds

the moon rose,
while the sun fell

suddenly I could no longer tell

which of the masks I donned suited me the finest
May 17 · 135
Still waters ahead
Eva Aloezos May 17
the Greek sea will cleanse my inner being,
the Greek sun will heal the scars left by this fluorescent society

let me swim,
glide along the cooling ever flowing waters

as I used to do when I was filled with the wild beauty of nature
May 16 · 105
mid-morning
Eva Aloezos May 16
I guided you in
with hair so long, soft as feathers

laid with you,
and sent you down your manifest path;

although it was enchanting,
I prefer licking my wounds in the silence that is shame

for that is the well which floods inspiration
May 14 · 123
nantucket walls
Eva Aloezos May 14
he felt my after glow,
radiating heat up and down the lane

for my body soared high as a plane,
clearing of mental roadblocks vanquished pain

nothing ever felt as bare and complete,
as the room with lowly lit candles

in which we meet
May 13 · 42
alter
Eva Aloezos May 13
We are caught in eachother’s web

kneeling at the alter of gratification, torn yet willing

the cups are spilling.

unleashing the dangerous thrill of pleasure and abandonment,

yet carrying on home
with a shame so vast it blankets the sky

I cannot leave the web,
no matter how vigorously I try.
May 11 · 48
thoughts which reign
Eva Aloezos May 11
One day I wish to
be...

as lively as a butterfly pouch

humble as the wisest evergreen,
like a bird harmoniously free

connected to all things wild and true to Earth.

long for...
my mind to give birth
to the crystal wall which will reflect all of life’s curiosities
May 10 · 157
Adventure in woods
Eva Aloezos May 10
throughout the cloudy day
into the clear night
i put my worry aside,
for what shall be will become right
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