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2.4k · Feb 2019
suns out
mads Feb 2019
it's so cold today
the suns shining but I feel no heat
a few days ago when it felt like spring
it was snowing for you
maybe that was the problem
bad weather
I miss you so much. I hope one day you'll be okay enough that someone can love you.
735 · Feb 2019
I can't fix you
mads Feb 2019
maybe if I would've fought to stay
it was on you
maybe if I said things differently
it was on you
if I would've said 'I care' more
it was on you

maybe if I would've put myself first

I wouldn't be stuck wondering
of all the things I could've done different
to help y o u

things would be different
if I would realise that
it was on you
Ive spent so long wondering why I couldn't make you love yourself the way I thought you should
586 · Apr 2019
too much
mads Apr 2019
i did it again
                                                              let someone have t
much of me

left remnants of myself with  

please bring me back.
i let you affect me so much
585 · Jul 2019
so, so
mads Jul 2019
your smile is so, so pretty

please let me be the cause of it again
I miss u the most. I love you.
585 · Jan 2019
letting go
mads Jan 2019
I don't know how to do it
how to let people go
people who I don't need
I'm too worried about them
I know I should be worried
for me
498 · Jul 2019
mads Jul 2019
I'm scared  
                        do you know what you want this time?


ur back and im scared ur gonna hurt me without even knowing
467 · Nov 2019
i know
mads Nov 2019
I didnt mean to stare
but you were looking at the bright lights
and you just looked so
I know im in love with you
we don't talk much anymore but if you ever asked id be willing. I love you.
434 · Dec 2018
mads Dec 2018
all the I love you's and cant wait to see you's
the constant keep me around forever
well what happens when forever is only till tomorrow
why the sudden stop of messages
i no longer hear from you
what happend to us
I hope to see you soon
432 · Oct 2019
do you
mads Oct 2019
do you remember me yelling
I love you too
out of the car window when
I dropped you off for the last time

I wish I would have let you kiss me.
411 · Jul 2019
mads Jul 2019
I think I would do this over and over again
just to feel the happiness it brings

this being
272 · Dec 2019
picking my battles
mads Dec 2019
When talking about you I was told to "pick my battles"
I was told you could see how happy I was when things were good
and how low I was when things weren't.
And even considering all of this,
the battle I always choose you.
For some reason the bigger part of me
still hopes there is some fight left in us.

I don't think there is.
i miss us and you and everything so much.
271 · Jul 2019
salt in a wound
mads Jul 2019
bringing you back
has been like
putting salt in a wound
just making my hurt,
hurt worse
269 · Oct 2019
make it make sense
mads Oct 2019
you always said
"no sense makes sense"
and maybe you're right
but what will never
is the way that every time
i think i have you
i don't
as much as i hate to admit
you're my person.
268 · Jan 2019
can't say
mads Jan 2019
i don't want to tell anyone
i don't want to talk about it
if i talk about it that means it's real
i don't want it to be.
i know what this is but i can't say it im sorry
259 · Mar 2019
mads Mar 2019
I thought maybe
that I was getting
b e t t e r
turns out that
I just got good
at d
but now they're gone
and im stuck here
with everything
I say things are getting worse but maybe they've always been this way and I just couldn't tell
259 · Feb 2019
mads Feb 2019
i continue to rattle and shake
one day i'll just fall apart
253 · Jan 2019
don't think
mads Jan 2019
choke it down
don't think don't think
tell yourself it's no harm
don't think don't think
it makes me feel so gross
249 · Nov 2019
mads Nov 2019
i keep looking back at our messages
re-reading where you told me
you were in love with me

what happened
im still in love with you, do you feel the same?
mads Oct 2019
hope you turn out okay

if you ever feel like it

give me a call
not sure when i will stop missing you and i don't  know if i want to
237 · Jan 2019
what do I believe
mads Jan 2019
I have to see you again soon
im scared
you're not anything like I thought you were
you're one of the people I thought I knew the most about
but turns out I know nothing
who am I too believe
only telling me enough truth to keep me around
not any more than that because
to know the truth may make me leave
maybe I know nothing
who are you
thinking about this hurts my head
233 · Sep 2019
1st time
mads Sep 2019
just maybe
I should have
believed you
when you said,
that you couldn't give it your all
first time.
232 · Jun 2019
mads Jun 2019
its never been this hard
this missing thing
usually I can deal with you being far
but its getting harder and harder
228 · Mar 2019
mads Mar 2019
soon i'll drive you away
you'll be with the rest
maybe not by choice
it never really is
make your promises to me but I'll make you break them
209 · Dec 2018
mads Dec 2018
its a never ending fight
don't think ill ever win
its a constant cycle
make it stop
205 · Jan 2019
spilling out
mads Jan 2019
my supportive words flowing out to you like a river
the dam just broke in the back of my throat
here comes the inflow of how to helps
but here i am stuck at square one
still doing the same thing
feeling the same way
when will I listen
to the words
i seem to be able to help everyone but myself
196 · Jun 2019
mads Jun 2019
i finally found my nice balance
somewhere in between great and okay
im so content
i hope i can sit and stay
im so happy to be happy
192 · Dec 2018
mads Dec 2018
I miss you
I say it constantly, I miss you
I don't know if the day will come if I ever stop
I hope one day I do
im sorry but
well you know
181 · Jan 2019
just a bad day
mads Jan 2019
I'll tell you in different ways
never say what I mean
maybe tell you
today wasn't the best or
I'm feeling down
maybe it's easier that way
maybe I feel like I'm running out
of ways to translate what I mean
I don't want to burden with the way
I really feel
so I'll sum it up
in a few words or less
and tuck them away
and get on with my
bad day
I don't know how to say what I mean without you worrying.
154 · Feb 2019
girl i dream of
mads Feb 2019
i hope i find you one day
the person i can keep around
and write pretty things about
152 · May 2019
mads May 2019
went back and read my poems about you
I thought I would never get rid of the memories
but here we are
your a distant image
I dont plan on looking for
im finally un-stuck
from you
I finally let myself let go of you.
142 · Dec 2019
last time
mads Dec 2019
if i do by chance see u
just know this will be the last

-i wrote this on the day i seen you, and no we haven't spoke since.
i wish you the best, truly.
138 · Feb 2019
mads Feb 2019
this body of mine
an empty shell
filled with nothingness
sad thoughts seep through

this body of mine
so so fragile
could give in anytime
cobwebbs fill the corners

this body of mine
that has began refusing
to take care of me back
what am I to do
I feel I may just be floating around and im constantly just passing by
134 · Aug 2019
mads Aug 2019
please stay
i've said it about 100 times
at this point im probably the girl screaming
over the music from the other side of the room
please stay
I'll keep saying it in hopes that you're listening
I don't think I can lose you again the second time around
129 · Jul 2019
mads Jul 2019
here I go again
wasting space
on another poem for
I dont know what to do I love u too much to let u go but it hurts so much wirh you around
120 · Jan 2019
i'll stay
mads Jan 2019
we both know no matter how bad it gets i won't leave
i know you need someone to be there
so here i am
i should't stick around but i feel like i need to
113 · Jan 2019
mads Jan 2019
I hope with all the hope left in me
that I make it out of here
I can only be here for so much longer
110 · Apr 2019
mads Apr 2019
i'll love you forever and always
and this may sound selfish
but i don't know how to
keep you around
without letting you
pull me down with you.
i can't be without you but what am i if i stay around.
108 · Dec 2019
mads Dec 2019
I think I'm finally ready to let go

                                                                            of u

and even if i'm not
there's nothing to hold onto anyways.
I hope one day i can bring myself to stop missing u so much. thank you for everything that u gave me.
105 · Sep 2019
mads Sep 2019
5 days ago we were kissing

now im not sure how much longer
will be a thing.
I wish you would stick around but im tired of asking for something you cant give
87 · Dec 2019
thank you
mads Dec 2019
i'm ready to let go

thank you for everything.

my promise still stands i'm here if you need anything
always thought the concept of first loves was cheesy but i most definitely was in love with you.
53 · Sep 2019
mads Sep 2019
just when I think I have you
you're gone
one day you're right there
I can feel it
the next you're so distant
I forget the feeling
just come stay
29 · 1d
mads 1d
there's a hollow piece of me
not sure what i'm missing
but i can feel it
i'm constantly looking for something to feel it
so far nothings working
what is it

— The End —