It is difficult to be a man,
For I am not a typical one.
It is hard for me to go on,
There’s a secret that pulls me.

I loathe when my memories strike,
They hit emotionally with might.
I struggle so much to survive,
In a world so deaf towards my cries.

I look at a He and my heart convulses,
For I recall a He who gave me kisses.
I was young, forced and naïve,
I fought but He was much stronger.

Society might tell that I’m gay,
For I let a man violated me in a way.
But I’m not a ***** and I’m sure,
I play a role for which others envy.

When I was a teen I met her,
I admired her even if she’s older.
I was then shy and very timid,
With mental and emotional scars.

I thought of her as a dear friend,
Then she turned to be my worst fiend.
One instance she forced herself on me,
And used things that hurt me so.

A girl’s tactics differ from the stronger ***,
Tears she used first and blackmail next.
She was cunning, sly and very clever,
She stole my pride and my dignity.

My fears now mixed with anger,
My determinations got bolder.
I still cry and sometimes get lonely,
Like any other victim I want to fight.

I can not shout to the whole nations,
For societies will scorn at my declamation.
Both sexes forgot that I have feelings too,
I am also made of flesh, bones and spirit.

I am not proud of what I become,
Within me clouding reasons try to calm.
My desire is to win this battle to the end,
I am capable of vulnerability like any human.

But where does my right begin?
This universe has compassion for women.
The likes of me are expected to be steel made,
Yet I have feelings too for I am just a man.

Sa  bawat katahimikan,
Hatid ay kalungkutan.
Sa bawat kalungkutan,
Kasama ang kapighatian.
Sa bawat kapighatian,
Natatakpan ang kasiyahan.

Sa bawat kasiyahan,
Nailalabas ang kamusmusan.
Sa bawat kamusmusan,
Naitutuwid ang kamalian.
Sa bawat kamalian,
Sumisibol ang kaginhawaan.

Sa bawat pusong sugatan,
Nakakalimutan ang pinagmulan.
Sa bawat pinagmulan,
Naikukubli ang kasalanan.
Sa bawat kasalanan,
Nauuwi sa kamatayan.

Kaya...

Nararapat lamang na iyong pigilan.
Iiyak mo ang bawat kalungkutan,
Ilabas mo ang ngiti ng kasiyahan,
Palitan ang pusong naging sugatan,
Magiging matatag sa bawat pagdaraanan,
At Diyos ay huwag na huwag kalimutan.

Nang tumibok itong abang puso ko,
Hindi napigilan ang labis na pagsusumamo.
Atat makilala ka mula Lunes hanggang Linggo.
Upang isakatuparan ang panliligaw ko.

Mga rosas kong dala-dala,
Ipinapahiwatig na ako'y may pagtangi na.
Tsokolateng galing pa sa ibang bansa,
Nagbabakasakaling maging tayo na.

O, kaylapad ng iyong mga ngiti.
Nasisilayan ko pati beloy mo sa pisngi.
Mariring ko na ba kahit na sandali,
Ang matamis **** 'Oo' o 'Hindi'.

Isang taon kitang niligawan.
Araw-araw akong nakikipagsuyuan
Linggo-linggo pang hatid-sundo kita sa daan.
Masiguro lamang ang iyong kaligtasan.

Subalit, mali ako. Maling-mali ako.
Ika'y nakipagmabutihan sa ibang kalahi ni Adan.
Ilang linggo lang na sayo'y nakipagligawan,
Ibinahagi mo agad ang tunay **** nararamdaman.


Pinaasa mo ako. Pinaasa-asa.
Porke't matangos ang ilong niya,
Makisig at artistahin ang mukha,
Nahulog ka na't sadyang malalim pa.

Sana hindi ako nagpakatanga.
Sa mga pinakita **** puro paasa.
Kung ang kapalit pala,
Ay damdaming kong sawi't magdurusa.

Nalinlang ng mga mata.
Kumagat sa magaganda,
Sadyang nakakahalina.
Natukso ka...

Dinala sa motel.
Inihiga sa kama.
Hinubaran ng pagnanasa.
Natukso ka...

Kinabukasa'y nag-iba.
Napalitan ng lungkot ang saya.
Nang maalala ang ginawa.
Natukso ka...

Hindi mo kinaya.
Nanghinayang, nabaliw ka.
At sa huli, nagpatiwakal na.
Dahil natukso ka.

Natukso ka.
Natukso sila.
Natukso kayo.
Natukso tayo
Natukso ako.

something about the rain
the gloom and doom sensation
yet it feels like relief
all your emotions and sorrows
pouring out and coming down
banging ******* the driveway
window cracked open
the repetitive sound in your ear
nothing to do but listen and think
the rain brings long thoughts
frustrating, sad, anxious
but at the same time, freeing
parts of me are washed away
parts i wish that weren't there
a new chapter can begin after the rain
the smell, the feel, the look
out of dark clouds comes light
you take a deep breathe
cleansed