i bore at this empty white sheet
waiting to acquire my words.
for i wish to elaborate that night i spent under the stars;
so i close my eyes to recall that vision.
but, i cant.
all i see is this black void.
"look into your mind!"
but, i cant.
you told me to shut my eyes, to see the beach.
to close my eyes;
to imagine a world like that.
to cover my vision with my eyelid.
to sense that night again.
but, i cant.
for,
when i 'look' back to that night;
i pick up the sheer screeching of the crickets
while we counted the stars.
i looked at you and smiled;
locked in your eyes for a while.
surely,
i mustve seen something magnificent in them.
now, you looked back and laughed;
and i had the urge to greet your lips with mine.
surely,
i mustve seen something lovable in them.
i know,
you told me you relive those moments much too often,
you compare it to your favorite episode from the office.
but, i cant.
i was meant to write about the most special night of my life, but it ended up being about aphantasia.
Aphantasia is a mental condition characterized by an inability to voluntarily visualize mental imagery. as an aphant, this means that once a moment has passed, ill never be able to voluntarily visually relive those moments again.