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348 · Dec 2019
said
You’re in my head
Taking up space
What you said
Floating around
The world drowned out
The only sound
You and I
And what I said
339 · Dec 2019
Joy
Joy
I’m dancing out of the dark
I’m jumping in the light

My joy becomes a weapon
And I begin to fight

Let this mark
A new beginning

A war against demons
Is fought with joy
289 · Dec 2019
dust & dirt
Dirt is now on my hands
I have to stay alert
Out here we have to be quiet
Trying to find my t-shirt
You speak
“We said we aren’t good together
Now I don’t care
I want to face the dust and dirt together
I want to face the weather
You and I
We can take on the world”
256 · Nov 2019
Teddy bear
I am aware
that I’m just a little crazy
I swear
that I’m drunk and high on your love
I was told to beware
Everyone said you were danger
I just don’t think I care
Kiss me now, I’m begging you please
That girl can glare
I am yours as you are mine

A chill down my spine
I can’t help but stare
Your eyes so brown, beautiful
It isn’t fair
You make my heart race
How you make me feel, nothing can compare
Your hands on my waist
I take a breath in the space we share
My legs are weak I need a chair
Won’t you be my teddy bear?
Ever want someone to be your teddy bear; Just to be able to cuddle them and keep each other warm?
240 · Dec 2019
I want Y O U
You say you would give me the world
Well, I don’t need it
Nor, do I want the world
You make me feel like I’m living in a dreamworld
Yet, this is reality
So, I don’t need you to distract me
Just hold me tight
That’s the key
We can face the world together
No matter how bad the weather
I will remain by your side
I love you
232 · Dec 2019
Trust issues
Demons are holding me tight
Loneliness is my medicine
Really, it’s a poison
I’m sipping lightly on it tonight
I haven’t let myself be so low and numb
Now it’s an explosion
I want everyone to leave
Please let me suffer in loneliness
I must confess
I make no progress
I smile to impress
Even when I’m in distress
I am a mess
“Are you lying to yourself?”
“Are you struggling with trusting?”
“Are you pushing things away?”
“Are you letting the depression eat you?”
My answer to these voices in my head is
Yes
Tonight the fear has chains on me. The fear always seems to come back and win for awhile no matter how much I fight. I'm tired of fighting.
208 · Dec 2019
The People Pleaser
Happiness
Is found in a dress
Compress
My stomach
Impress
the crowd
Always say yes
Please the people
Maybe I don’t want to please
But I freeze
I do things for you
Yet, never for me
I’m down on my knees
I wheeze
“I can be free”
I can be free from the weight on my shoulder. If I change my mindset and stand on my faults instead of putting them on my head like bricks then I can live for me and let you lean on me when you need.
186 · Nov 2019
Thief
Call him a thief
This boy has stolen
Something precious
It was something mine
Now it’s his
My head feels swollen
My face a blush wine
Chills up my spine
I’m quite fine
He holds my heart
I didn’t know it
No not at the start
But I fell in love
This boy has me
Spinning
Grinning
Let’s go back to the beginning
I hated you
We were enemies
I listen to you
You listen to me
We were frenemies
I helped you
And you helped me
We then became friends
Still had no clue
Then I had a breakthrough  
I wanted to be with you
I wanted to feel your lips on mine
I wanted your hands on my waistline
Now we both have fallen
I can say I am all in
Thinking of a special someone in my life
183 · Nov 2019
High
Am I at sea?
Waves of emotion are crashing over me
Your hands on my body
Do you know
The effect that you have on me
I’m going with the flow
Kiss me hard
Kiss me slow
You can even kiss me in the snow
I don’t want you to let me go
Hold me tight
Take me to a new height
Your face burning bright
I know I’m little shaky
But I’m perfectly alright
Just never been this high
Yes, I’m high on your love
I feel like a kite
162 · Dec 2019
Trust Issues Part 2
I’m scared to keep you close
I want you by my side
I want to push you away
Yet, I want you to stay
I’m scared of love
I’m sorry that my fear is above
One moment I feel like I trust
That you’re by my side
The next I’m to scared to keep you there
I know this is unjust
You should be filled with disgust
My fear has me tied
I start to backslide
I denied and lied
To myself
I can’t find the brightside
Where is my life?
You said you fell in love
with the light in my eyes
Tell me do you see it now?
I'm working through my trust issues. I swore to stop lying to myself without facing the problems eventually.
153 · Nov 2019
Response
You’re writing isn’t ******
It was able to convey
how you feel
How I feel is crazy
Trust me when I say
that you’re a thief
What did you steal?
Something I try to conceal
There’s been a robbery
You left with my heart
No need for apologies

But where should I start?
Words always seem to be hard
You keep catching me of guard
I think I’ll start with
why I call you an idiot
It because you got me
feeling so idiotic
Life can be so chaotic
Love can be so exotic
And I can be so psychotic

I love how you make me feel
You got me fallin
You got me trustin
You got me talkin out my mind
Love is only for idiots
We both are idiots
This feels so surreal
148 · 7d
Crazy
I'm infected
I'm trying to deal with the pressure
I'm trying to deal with deppression
Listen to my confession
All I have is this aggression
Perfection is my obsession
Art is my only self-expression
Do not question
my senses of direction
I know I must make progression
oh look at the the time
I have to go in for my teary session
139 · Dec 2019
Your Story
Die with memories
Memories are your stories
Stories of your dreams
Let your dreams become reality
When you die don't die with dreams, die with memories of you achieving your dreams.
135 · 4d
Down to Earth
Earthquakes
The earth shakes and breaks
My reality now shattering
Falling down into great lakes
A new earth
No more stressful headaches
So happy to escape
Why face what's real
When I have something better
Fantasy
120 · Dec 2019
Reflection
The chains binding
Have been broken
I still have the cuffs
I may be walking free
But my hands are still weighed down
Now I’m finding
Me, myself and I

I wish to see clearer
Past imperfection
Yet, chains are heavy
Even after they have been broken

Look in the mirror
I hate my reflection
I feel infected
Self-hate as my infection
Have I lost my direction?

"No, you aren’t the definition of perfection
That doesn’t mean to hate your reflection
Maybe you have lost your direction
You see you have to be lost before you become found
Don’t forget you no longer have a need to be bound
You have been crowned
There is no one just like you
A ruler of yourself you are
When you look at the night sky
Admire the stars
You are a star"
118 · Nov 2019
Miss Runaway
Miss runaway is her name
Her hair is whipped in the wind
A necklace in her hand
Holding it out
Allowing it to sway
A gift from home
Where there was farmland
Now she’s standing on the sand
Her feet feeling the cold water

The daughter
of a farmer
There was a man
Who made her face get hotter
But her feet got cold
She ran away
Without a plan
She could have been
A Mrs. Smith
She choose to be
Miss Runaway
A no-good runaway
She can never stay
Look at her walk
Into that church

Little girl
Get on your knees
Pray
Our eyes on you
We are hawks
We stalk
Prey

You’re our next meal
“You can’t heal
Let us take the pain
We can make a deal”
Don’t strain
Miss runaway
You can’t runaway now

“Miss runaway
Do you know how,
How have you
become chow?
Little advice
You can’t runaway
Not from fear
You can try
But it will only eat you alive”
113 · Dec 2019
Calling
Do you hear it?
The whispers in the wind
Do you feel it?
Nature's call
It's buzzing so loudly
Yet so silently
116 · Dec 2019
Love Fertilizes
Love is a luxury
Yet no one can label it
Some have a lack of love
The land in their heart unfertilized
No fruits to be produced
I must admit
We could use a little unconditional love
Let the land be fertilized
Fruits of peace
Fruits of patience
Fruits of joy, kindness, gentleness
Oh, the feeling of goodness
Yes, it is a luxury
Love is a luxury. We can stay alive without it but living without it is different. Who can truly live without some kind of love in their life? We all need a little bit of love in this crazy world. Love makes life better and easier.
109 · Dec 2019
Together
The snow is falling
Lights Shining
All the colors so bright
Smell of peppermint candy canes
And warm hot chocolate
But all I need is the warmth of family
Who needs the Christmas light?
Or gifts under a green tree
When we have us here
Together
Family forever
We shall remain together
99 · Nov 2019
Walls Come Tumbling Down
You looked at me across the room
Curiosity in your eyes
I have seemed to catch another person’s eye
Making your way across to me
Your mouth opens, “Hello, my name is Bloom”

Here we go again
“Listen I don’t mean to be impolite.
I’m just not very fond of people
You see my skin it isn’t white
It seems to define who I am
People tend to say I have itch mites
People tend to say I start fights
People tend to say I’m not very bright
You’ll be told to stay away
So new kid if you want to fit in stay away”

Her eyes meet mine as she opens her mouth to speak
“At my old school I was called gay
I didn’t know liking another girl was so wrong
Kids came up to me and told me to pray
God was supposed to fix me
They tried to mold me like clay
I then became prey

A kiss from a girl named May
Felt so right until she pulled away
She wanted to keep it a secret
She wanted it to never happen again
She wanted to survive
Those **** kids pushed and pushed
Until they could push no more
My dear May had been pushed over the edge
But she was the one who stepped off that ledge
May didn’t make it out alive
So, I don’t care what they say
I just need a friend
I think you need one too”

I stared up at Bloom in shock
“Hello, my name is Jasmine.
I think we could be great friends”
I challenge you to reach out and see who you can touch
96 · Dec 2019
A deathless love
**** me or kiss me
You can pull the trigger
You can try to be the bigger man
You won’t make me plea
No, not for death or your touch
I may be in love
But giving in to your plan
That is something I won’t do
You can shove
You can push
You can chew and choke
I don’t break easily
You thought you knew
But you have nothing on me
I’m strong
So, will you **** me
Or shall you give in and kiss me
96 · Dec 2019
Dance
Grab my hand
Wont you dance with me?
Dancing in the rain
Like we don’t have a brain
Let’s dance like we are free
Because love is freeing
Oh, fears are fleeing
92 · Nov 2019
Shinning Star
Why are you listening to fear?

Your fear he fills your head with lies.

So, let me make it clear.

Do you see the ties?

They bound you to self-hate.

You can use your beautiful mind and follow your fate.

For you are a masterpiece.

You can find inner peace.

You haven’t forgotten who you are.

Come on you can.

You’re not far off shinning star.
Authors
We write
Our feelings spilling out on a page
Knights
They fight
Their passion dying on a battlefield
We both hold swords
Holding the power to smite
Blades cut through flesh
Words cut through emotional walls and halls
Words can leave you emotionally dead
Or leave you breathless and in awe
Blades draw blood
But it’s only a flesh wound
The mind is much more complicated to heal
I’ll let you think that over during your next meal
91 · Dec 2019
Untitled
Movies last a few hours
My memory shall last forever
90 · Dec 2019
Mansion
Everything is temporary
My mansion is temporary
The monsters in my mansion
they might live forever
Not in my mansion but they’ll live in another

I am always wary
For the monster are scary
Isn’t that why we call them monsters?
I have to be clever

They may never get the best of me
I will fight until I die
Whatever, whenever, wherever
They cannot defeat me until I’m dead
I’m not about to let them have that
85 · Nov 2019
The things he did
A crown on my head
A burden on my heart
My mother and father are dead

Now I am a king
“A child is not fit for the crown”
I hold tight onto my father’s ring

“Your right I am no king
I am only the offspring of one.
Some even dare to call me a clown”

“Then step down.
Choose another
to take the throne”

“Me becoming king was set in stone.
The day I was born it became my destiny
I’m not about to turn away from the kingdom”

“Then the kingdom shall suffer.
A child cannot rule.
You have no wisdom”

“Words of a fool.
I might be a child
, but I at least I won’t be cruel”

“Are you saying your father was?
He was a warrior and leader.
It was well known, and you are unknown”

“Watch your tone.
I do not have to be the king he was.
He started wars and now he has payed the price”

“You should think twice
before speaking of him like that.
He was better than what you could ever be”

“He was a coward as a father.
My mother did not flee.
She tried her best”

“So, did he!
He had to be a father
And a leader”

“A father isn’t supposed
to do the things he did.
The things I hid”
84 · Nov 2019
Lioness
I aint no Barbie doll
Get your stupid strings off of me
I might be small
I’m a lion with a mighty roar
So, you can crawl
Crawl back down to where you came from
Before you get mauled
Think I’m weak
Think I’m innocent
Think you can take advantage of me now?
84 · Nov 2019
I don't want to believe
Comparing is poison
It’s killing you and me
The lies of perfection
We ain’t going to believe  

They say beauty is the key
“All the fame, don’t you want to receive?”
It only costs my subjection
It only costs my connection
It only costs my affection

Good grades will only get you so far
“You need a fancy car”
They say, They say
Now I’m saying beauty is the key

What happened to me?
What happened to not falling into the lies
I wasn’t supposed to agree
Now my happiness dies

Beauty and perfection
Striving to always be better is an infection
Worthless is what I see in my reflection
I want to love my imperfection
Imperfections are perfection
81 · Dec 2019
Choice
Life is not a movie
It is not full of tropes
Or unrealistic hopes
Just some ropes
Binding you to the choices you make
Consequences for everything you do
Some make it through life by being fake
Some by their passion

My mistakes keep me awake
I can feel myself break
What’s at stake?
If I cross that line
Can I ever be fine?
I will not whine
for more time
I now have to make a choice
And find my own voice
You can find your voice. Just take a breath. Let the past go and focus on the now.
76 · Nov 2019
My dear Rose...
You’re so close
Pressed against my chest with my arms wrapped around you
But you’re so far
“My dear Rose”


“You’re so cold to the touch now
Don’t worry
We can cuddle until your all warm again
My dear Rose”


“You’re so pale
Are you feeling sick?”
I lifted my hand and placed it on her face
Gently I brought up my dear Rose’s head


Dead eyes meet mine
A small black creature crawled out of her mouth
It moved quickly and down away from me
“Oh yes, that’s right your dead now
My dear Rose”
75 · Dec 2019
Fate
Pleasure and pain
Love and hate
It’s all in the brain
A thin line between opposites
What is fate?
It plays a role
But you’re the one who controls it
You decide your fate
You choose between love and hate
You control your fate. Fate is just decided by your actions and your outlook on things.
73 · Dec 2019
Choose your lie or truth
My dear houseguest
We have a policy
The simplest
The happiest
A policy of being honest
No burdens of lies

Is that truly wise?
There as many lies as stars in the skies
Some are ties
Holding down you and I
Holding the world together
Holding some trapped
Holding things together

Lies may be evil
They may be wrong
Life is like a song
It’s made of choices
Lies and truth
Choices you have, don’t listen to the voices
You have the choice to tell the truth or to tell a lie. Some lies only create destruction while others hold us together. I didn't believe in lying until it saved my life, but lying has also killed my relationships with people.
69 · Dec 2019
Fool
I’m a fool
My craziness is spilling
A page catching the words
Forever falling
Out of my head
Overjoy or overreact
Lean because I lack
68 · Dec 2019
Cold
Winter wonderland
The snow is quite grand
I like the cold on my skin
Snowflakes on the tip of my tongue
I’m wearing a large grin
My bare hands stung
Time to head in
60 · Dec 2019
Underneath
I’m 10 feet down
All day, all night
But I’m rising up
Dirt is filling my eye
Pressing all around
I’m clawing and fighting
My fire shall never die
You could make me blind
You can make me all alone
You can **** my hope
But I won’t let you win
You win when I step off that bridge
You win when I stop fighting
So, let me make it known
You can cope
You do have hope
You aren’t alone
Reach out
Forget your fear
Forget your doubt
I've struggled with depression for 6 years and anxiety for 4 years now. It is a constant battle every day to find energy. Some days are extremely easy while others feel like I'm going to give in. I wrote this for myself, others and my boyfriend to hopefully help us all struggling. Love you guys. wishing you a good day.
49 · 7d
Princess Test
The test of a princess
Is piled high
Like her ego
Mattresses stacked one after another
But the height isn't a bother
She'll demand to step on others
Using them to get to the top
Stomping her foot on their head

The test of a princess
Is sensitive
As she laid down
Pulling covers up to her chin
She is uncomfortable
The unknown pea
Able to bruise porcelain skin
Her sleep now departed

Im not participating
No petty fights
I have debates
No people used as stepping stones
I build by own stairs with hard work
My ego does not make me better
I humble myself and always search
I search for new ways to grow
For I am confident and I know

My skin is also sensitive
Sensitive to others in need
Sensitive to the ones trying and fighting
Not the ones calling for attention
Or whining of a perfect princess
A tiny pea does not bruise me
Words spoken in hateful spiteful rage
They may pass right through me
For I shall not be phased

I'm not participating in this contest
I do not wish to be a princess
The truth is a am no princess
If that makes me any less
I honestly don't care one bit
I don't get knocked down
Without getting back up
I strive to be me
For I am confident and I know
I am no princess
50 · Dec 2019
Bliss
Ignorance is bliss
What about innocence?
We all try to protect it
A child's innocence
Something so precious
It's like the brightest light in thier eye
The brightest light
Like moths we fly to that light
Innocence doesn't last forever
You have to get clever
No more trust without price
Innocence can be dangerous
Knowledge to know when to roll the dice
So I ask
Is innocence bliss?
48 · Dec 2019
Unreal
I am not real
Despite the feel of a meal
In my stomach
I feel disconnected
My sanity has been affected
Should I run over that hummock?
Can that make me real?
Beating in my chest
Sweat on my brow
Dig in my heel
All to feel
For I am real
47 · Dec 2019
Impossible Perfection
Perfect little ken dolls
Perfect little barbies
Front cover of my magazines
My smile falls
Just look at screens
Distract from the fact
Anxiety attacked

Click, click
Cut and paste
Thin my waist
Choose and pick

Impossible perfection
I must have it
Never fine with my looks
I’ve read a thousand books
My fashion still out of style
I still have a terrible smile

Bang!
A gun sang
Another dead
We all have it in our head
A perfect picture
Must have the right mixture
Yet, perfect is impossible
We’re all striving for impossible perfection

Click, click
Cut and paste
Thin my waist
Choose and pick

Impossible perfection
I must have it
Never fine with my looks
I’ve read a thousand books
My fashion still is out of style
I still have a terrible smile
This is my first attempt at a song actually. Thought I'd post it here.
47 · Dec 2019
Untitled
bippity boppity
back the fu** off me
44 · Nov 2019
Fear is hungry
A wide smile
Chills down my spine
I broke into a cold sweat
That smile was hungry
I could run a mile
Adrenaline pushing me far
I’m not fine
My fear’s smile grows
It’s going to eat me alive
44 · Dec 2019
Untitled
To   D
         E
           S
             T
               R
                O
                  Y
                          Is to C
                                   R
                                   E
                                   A
                                   T
                                   E
43 · Dec 2019
Little butterfly
Wings flowing back and forth
Keeping little butterfly up
Wind challenging the little insect
Strong breezes tumbling

To the north
The little butterfly must go
The road not easy nor perfect
No time for bumbling

The bees may rumble and bumble
But not little butterfly
Little butterfly is silent and graceful
Now which of the two survives?
Sometimes I feel like a bee being loud and obnoxious. Other times I feel as if I am the butterfly keeping to myself; floating through life quietly. There is a time and place for both. If you are a bee at the wrong time you pay the consequences. If you are a butterfly at the wrong time you miss out on certain opportunities in life.
42 · Dec 2019
Hurt
Hurt-people hurt people
41 · Dec 2019
Untitled
Indescribable
A word describing love
Love is ironic
39 · Dec 2019
Untitled
I didn’t know this world had magic
Now I know without it the world would be tragic
The world accursed
Yes, we need the magic of love
How it changes us
Helps us through
I hold onto the magic my family provides
The magic my friends provide
The magic my boyfriend provides
I can feel magic running in my veins
Even if and when they leave
These people have left a handprint on my heart
The memory remains
Of you and I
Of I and you
38 · Dec 2019
.......
When my grandparents found out that I was depressed
The first thing they said was a question asking why
“Why be so depressed when you are blessed?’
ignore the trauma, I’ve been through
ignore the fact that sometimes their isn’t a reason
But I’m still left here depressed
39 · Dec 2019
Keeper
If you can’t handle a heart like mine
Please don’t waste your time
To keep me understand a few things
I’m brilliantly out of my mind
And that is quite fine

This is a waste of time
If you don’t take me seriously
Give me passion
Don’t make fun of my fashion
Don’t disappear mysteriously
Kiss me with that passion
Now give me more, give me more, more

If you can’t handle the choking, the biting, the loving
Then go home
If you want me to remain your one and only
Love me rough and give me space to grow
Don’t hinder my personal growth as I find myself

You can’t be scared to show me off and hold my hand
If you can’t put in work to this relationship
I don’t know what you think this is
If you cheat this love is dead
You will die
Dead to me you shall be

You’re my keeper
You have my heart
Treat it with care
If you wanna keep me
Know I’m not cheap
I require the right care
39 · Dec 2019
Snow
The little kids prepared
Little sticky hands
Crushed candy canes
Stomach pains
But no regret for stuffing faces

This Christmas
Doesn't need snow
We talk over hot chocolate
As the lights glow
Gifts wrapped under the tree
All eyes watching to see
Gifts become unwrapped
Hearts filling with joy
Hugs shared
The warm fire crackling

There might not be snow
There's us
And us know
We don't need snow
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