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Tear me down.
Push me low and watch me drown.  

Amusement as you watch me struggle and gasp.
Your enjoyment is on full display, topped off with your evil rasp.

Once all is done and your ownership is re-certified. You kiss me softly, your gestures now tender.
Each time I'm still terrified but, hearing those two words is reason enough to surrender.
(C) 2015
 Jun 2018 eryssi
Ed Bogard
Struggle
 Jun 2018 eryssi
Ed Bogard
Do you know how hard I struggle?
Every day is hard.
Every day is a battle for us all.
I understand that everyone struggles.
I understand that many have it worse than I.
Their pain, their struggles, their battles...
they do not negate or lessen my own.
I don't need sympathy.
I don't need pity.
I do my best to give everyone empathy and understanding.
But I still struggle.
I want to be better than I am now.
I struggle to be better everyday.
I fail.
I fail often and spectacularly.
I have thought of suicide in the past.
I have considered running away and hiding from everyone and everything.
I can't.
Something inside me keeps struggling.
Something makes me face the world each day.
There are days when I can't.
Days when I retreat.
Days when I DO hide.
But I always keep going.
Even on those days I make it through another day, another hour, another minute.
I suffer.
I hurt.
I retreat.
I hide.
I do NOT stop.
I survive the pain and struggle.
You can't see it.
I can't see your struggle.
I hope you win your struggle.
I hope you know I'm cheering for you everyday.
I may not know you.
I still cheer.
I may not like you.
I still cheer.
Because everyday is a new chance.
Because every hour is a new opportunity.
Because every minute is a new moment.
I love.
I hurt.
I feel.
I grow.
You may not see it.
You may not cheer me.
You may never know the battle I face.
You will never know the struggle just to face the mirror and look into my own eyes.
I hope you cheer.
I hope you seek to understand another's struggle even if it isn't mine.
Even if you don't I still cheer for you.
Do you know how hard I struggle?
 Jun 2018 eryssi
Ed Bogard
Betrayal
 Jun 2018 eryssi
Ed Bogard
Surrounded by my past I try to see
Visions of deceit overwhelm me
In my mind's eye I search for the truth
Hauntings of beauty seek to fool me
How I long to break free
I try to cling to the truth
Elusive and ethereal though it is
Desperately do I fight to hold on
But the rending of my heart drowns me
Suffocating in hearts blood
Wishing I could take it all back
But I am held by a chain maid of time
Gasping I try to breathe in hope
Even harder to obtain than truth
Still though I struggle to retake my life
My own memories played false
I question the very foundation of my soul
Wondering how I came to this
Clarity comes from a long denied truth
Terror fills me as I come face to face with the eyes of the specter
It gazing back into my horror filled eyes
I see the man I once knew as myself
 Jun 2018 eryssi
slr
love?
 Jun 2018 eryssi
slr
i think i love you

and that

the thought of getting attached

makes me want to run


-please say something
I'm not really sure. I just know you feel something as do I. I just wish one of us would say something.
 Jun 2018 eryssi
mygreatestescape
there once was a king,
with eyes like the sea,
pondering time beneath
an age old tree,
looking into a river,
checking the pilings
of his straight white teeth,

and upon this river,
with his wallowings
and tea,
there came a voice,
so soft and pristine,
"are you lost, oh master of the land?"

that at first glance he
took,
a beautiful reflection,
submerged in the brook,

"Oh why yes I am!"

he said,
with stars in his eyes,
and a blush for the books,

and he told the reflection
of his castles and his
wealth,
the will to die,
and the catalysts of
good health,
the drudgery and the liers,
the beauty of its spires!

and the reflection spoke softly,
it spoke of desire,
and it moved
as one,
laughing,
making fun,
greedily drinking words
for the gin of the sun,

"my home -too- is a beauty,
oh you would love it my dear!"

said the reflection,
with eyes so clear,
and it spoke of the darkness,
the bleakness too,
the ruined ships,
and the deep inky blue,

and the king's fear grew,
with his hand on his chin,
such long reaching corals,
and jellyfish too,
dimmed the desire to
submerge into such
bluish hues,

but the two lovers,
how tragic!
for how could they
say,
three words that belonged
to the shadows of yesterday?
and how could they unite
the sea and the land,
and prove their love in
the eyes of god's man?

One was all air,
and the other water,
a sacrificial stone,
and sheep for the slaughter,

"Oh love, such beauty, with eyes
so fair, the owner of my heart,
for you I will sacrifice air!"


and the reflection smiled back,
"of that you you must swear."

So the king in the shade,
caressed each grassy blade,
and  planned
and planned,
how to unite
the sea and the land,

and finally the king
sat up in horray,
for he would be the victor
of this fine day,
so he took down
a fine willow
and built a boat,
so his love,
his life would
forever be close
to his grand castle,
and its green
curtained tassels,

but the king had
an uncle,
as bony as could be,
who lusted for the throne,
found the king
sitting next to the sea,
and the king was drowned
before he could moan,
  there
             he bobbed,
and  the king   died
alone,


there once was a king,
who lays under the sea,
with blank blank
eyes,
and a throat full
of seaweed,
yellowing skin,
as fair as could be,
reaching out
for the world,
through the
abyss of the deep.
My grandpa always told me this 'fairytale', gave me nightmares for years to come.
 Jun 2018 eryssi
Lyn-Purcell
They may use you
abuse you
slap you
kick you
shoot you
stab you
curse you
mock you
choke you
tear you

and at times,    defeat you
in that time a   n   d time alone
They may do   all    this because
they know you can reach the
heights, the impossible,
that they can only
dream of
but

they won't      ever destroy
you.    You        know       when to be
a tempest and     when       to be tranquil
You know when     to         be a flicker and
when to                     be                        a flame
When to shake the        earth and to sprout
they may put so much energy to see you
on your knees, vulnerable and weak,
but as long as you continue to
rise to your feet, they will
be blinded by the
light of your
glory.
Feeling a lil optimistic now. You know, I can say that there are ALOT
of people I can list now that really want to see me fail, friend and family.
Shame but at least I know who I can and can't trust. I'm on that level of
consciousness now. This is a poem dedicated to them.
To let them see me down is a victory to them.
But it'll always be hollow because I will have that strength
to get back up again.

If anyone is in need of more fire to their flame, I hope this poem is at least a drop of fuel / a piece of wood.

Be back soon!
Lyn ***
 Jun 2018 eryssi
Barker
Pain II
 Jun 2018 eryssi
Barker
I see you standing there
I can see the pain masked by a smile
I can see how broken you are

I want to help you
I want to make you feel wanted
I want to make you happy

But I don't know how
I don't know what to do
I don't know how to act

I wish I could help you
I want to help you
I can help you

I've been through this
I know how this works
I know how I got through this

Maybe I can heal those scars on your wrist
I just want you to open up
I need you to open up

I know that it is hard
I understand what this means
I might not understand completely

I can try to understand
I will understand
I just need you to trust me

Please
Let Me
Help You

Don't
Shut Me
Out
(c)ibarker

For the one who has my heart
 Jun 2018 eryssi
luci
flawless
 Jun 2018 eryssi
luci
everybody tries to be
a perfectly created masterpiece
yet all i want to show
are my flaws

i want to be so
inevitably flawed
that no one can help
but stare at me
and taste
the bittersweet realness of my being
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