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1.5k · Feb 2016
My Little Airman
Endya Tremese Feb 2016
I just need a way to vent, really quick
Man I promise
I need a little fix, I feel sick
To be honest

I know we're doing things for the best
Yea, thats what you told me
But just put my mind to rest
Take a breath, and just hold me

I dont want you to go
But I dont want you to know
Because you serving this time
Will help you prosper and grow

I'm just scared of the future
The only thing I'm not used to
But the past is the past
Wouldn't go back? I refuse to

So I'll just live in the moment
Without you, I feel homeless
I keep silently crying
And all these tears got me choking

Just give me your all
Before you go off
Promise me a week or two
And not just a call
I love you
1.1k · Jan 2016
My #HPFriend
Endya Tremese Jan 2016
I remember being on the softball team at my high school.  There was this cute girl that was on the team and I didn't really know her because I pretty much had just transferred to that school.  There was always drama going around and I used my old Hello Poetry account as a vent system. I had my account link posted on my other social media but didn't think anyone would actually go to it, but that one girl did!! So one day we were having a short conversation and she said "Oh, I read your poetry. You're really good" ...and I'm like "what!?" Lol, I felt kind of embarrassed but she ended up making an account. I read her poems faithfully and analyzed every line, thinking of why she would say certain things or use certain words.  She and I became really close, but closer on Hello Poetry. We basically communicated through poetry. We became a couple, and expressed ourselves to each other in our poetry, argued in our poetry, and told our stories of how we fought to be together in our poetry.  So yea, I knew her in person, but I met her on Hello Poetry. And now Kaylee L isn't just my HP friend, but she's also the love of my life.
843 · Sep 2016
Beautiful
Endya Tremese Sep 2016
I've written and re-written
And still *cant
find the words
No words to describe your smile
No words to describe your curves

No words to describe your chocolate beauty
**** you are a queen
The way your eyes get more defined
While wedged against your cheeks

The way your thighs get more defined
While pressed against your jeans
Sorry but it caught my eye
How you hide such physique

Sorry if I'm blunt
I want to taste your lips
And glide against your perfect hips
With just my finger tips

And well, my thought process goes
From "****, I want to kiss her"
To hear you moaning in my ear,
While in yours, I whisper

Seductive secret words
That will only **** your mental*
Its crazy how such gentle words
Can make you feel so sensual
Hidden Message
797 · Nov 2016
Rider
Endya Tremese Nov 2016
Oh he's bad
Bad to the bone
He makes me feel a little nervous
But I swear it turns me on

He takes me to meet his friends
And makes sure that they respect me
He says it's a bad neighborhood
But I know that he'll protect me

Everyone is high or drunk
Even I was a little buzzed
But every time I seen his face
My body did something it never does

All he wants is a girlfriend
He just wants someone that's down
But I told him if he gives it time
I just might stick around

He had his heart broken,
A feeling we've both met.
He wishes for a forever
That he won't later regret

He wishes for a sister
That'll keep his *** in check
Keep his pillow dry of tears
But his sheets so soak and wet

He wants the police off his back
So he doesn't have to sweat
But yet....
He can't dip because the streets is his family
Literally, EVERYONE knows him,
How could I EVER be his sanity?

How could I keep him from behind bars?
Cuz yea, he's looking like a man to me,
But to the feds?, that's dead.
They would never see his tragedy.

Yea he made mistakes.
And on paper he got a record.
But if you lost 10 friends in a year!,
I'm sure you'd be that hurt!

I'm sure you'd smoke so much loud!
Just cuz no one else would listen!
With your ******* in the air
Screaming **** the system!

But it's okay, I'll be the flame
That matches and calms his fire
We can grow and glow together
He'll be calling me his rider
792 · Aug 2016
Untitled
Endya Tremese Aug 2016
Get that hate off your heart and get me off your mind
No longer your concern so lets move on with time

Cuz there's No time to go backwards, we tried this before
You made it all clear that the real you is sore

Your ego had shown and your prides on the floor
But you took so **** long, now your prize out the door
...
Im not trying to boost but you could have lived lavishly
Cuz no matter our bank account, no matter what tragedy
We kept our heads up, and your soul was so attached to me
But that one last night i had you, you had did me savagely

And i accept that, matter fact i respect that
I told you to stand up for yourself and helped you grow, U can't neglect that

But when your fam ask what happened, do you tell them all the truth,
tell me what words did you really use to reflect that?

Tell me what words did you use to help you think that
What you said was how u felt cuz if u think back

Just one day before, we walked out by the shore all in love but i guess you didnt sink that

I guess you pick and choose what you want to marinate
But thank god, cuz this really could have been a later date
We were three years deep in and i let it sink in
That with you i could never see my heart break

But that broken heart and shade that you threw was never worth it

And im not playing innocent, i threw shade, i got my word in

But that really does nothing
So can we please stop the bluffin
Cuz the both of us knows we dont deserve it

The both of us cant really bare the burning
The hate in us cant stand to feel us hurting
Breakups can literally go from date to hate within hours
740 · Oct 2016
Wanted
Endya Tremese Oct 2016
"Are you high?"
-Yeah
"Don't you want to go vibe with your friends?"
-No
"They might get irritated that you're on the phone"*
-I don't care

I'm sorry. I really am.
I'm not trying to get rid of you.
It's just the way you say my name
That really got me into you.

I really want to keep you.
I don't want to mess this up
And if I'm as bad as others say,
Then I'll try to switch up.

I'll try not to be needy
I won't fight hard for my opinion
I'll be that perfect girl
When you introduce me to a friend

That's why I come off the way I do
I don't know any other way to handle it
But I don't want to be a bother
If you're out and smoking cannabis

I'm not used to feeling this.
Not used to not wanting to beg.
I love how you want my attention. I love feeling wanted.

I pity the girl I was before
I was dumb but still down-to-earth
And it was still a reality check
When I finally found my worth
623 · Jan 2016
LIFE IS TOO SHORT
Endya Tremese Jan 2016
I remember saying I hated the word sorry
But now days all I do is look for an apology

I keep telling my self to forgive and forget but wanting them to show their guilt and regret

And if they did, we could build and respect

Instead of showing the subject

This type of neglect....

Like that **** ain't hurt me?

The way I reacted in every situation showed how it burned me

You gotta test me out if you really finna learn me

It takes more than what you think you know to distinguish or discern me

These moments in life, we got less than a few

So why's it heavy on my mind? Maybe cuz it's not to you

You dont want to wait till its too late to up and dead a feud

Cuz tomorrow that person really could be up and dead to you
Don't waste away your life with hate in your heart. Mend every broken friendship and relationship possible. Life is too short.
585 · Oct 2014
Where Do We Go Now
Endya Tremese Oct 2014
Oh how I wish that you still wrote
So it could be like the beginning
Reading your poetry, quote by quote
Installing the words in my memory

Breaking it down over to replay it
Every word, comma and period
Picturing how you would say it
Wishing I could really hear it

You're really something to write for
Other than that, my words are stuck
If I could go back to how it was before
I'd give my last wrinkled buck
581 · Dec 2015
Fate is Fair
Endya Tremese Dec 2015
Fate is a *****
But she gets the job done
You gotta race through hell
When your heart is on the run

I had this girl hit me up
And say we had something in common
So I asked her wassup
And then my mind started wandering

When I realized that our love life
Was in the same hole
But talking to her faithfully
Made those feelings feel old

I started questioning myself
Thinking I had a new crush
But what I didn't realize
Was what had made me feel the rush

Just as simple as a text in AM
Had me sayin
That I should think about how heavy
These options were I was weighing

Being up all night texting
Had my mind and heart debating
When it was only relating
That made me see my feelings fading

Till one night this girl
Had done something amazing
She helped me get out that hole
And there my ex was, waiting

Apparently when I wasn't looking
They had had a conversation
That opened my exes eyes
To see the mistakes that we were making

As soon as I got out that hole
I seen all the similarities
It was the fact that she cared, listened
And gave me carefully-worded clarity

So I looked in my exes eyes
And seen she's the half I was missing
And now I'm happy to say
We're again making memories to remanaice on

But I look at that hole
And my friend is still there
And I want to get her out
But that's not my heart to repair

So I sit next to this hole telling her
Her ex still cares
Cuz I know what it feels like
To believe that something is still there

Cuz Love is kind, Karma's a *****
These are feelings we can't bear
Just remember Life is pain,
But Fate is is still fair
562 · Sep 2016
Distraction
Endya Tremese Sep 2016
I've always known that red lights and good music was supposed to feel special
And at one point, with you, it was.
But those dark nights and red lights became something that told me to stop.
Not to stop the car, but to stop letting you draw me into what had been such a doubtful relationship
And those dark nights were the aftermath of the happy times you brought.
Those dark nights left me with nights even darker
And that good music we played was a distraction
A distraction from God telling me I was going the wrong way.
I was in the passenger seat of the devil's car, painted red
And later on, painted white
Confusing me, making me think I was going right
Till God says that that red glowing light
Is telling you that you're going the wrong way.
Where you're headed, no one is welcome
But with me, you're welcome to stay.
So just follow the green...

But that music was too loud
And the city lights were so bright, that it even blinded me from seeing the signs of the creator,
From seeing my fate,
From looking out for my own destiny.
That music drowned out my thoughts
And wrapped it's happy lyrics around my heart
And later on, my throat
Strangling me more and more with every red light

Till the car finally crashed and I thought that that was it for me
I was rushed to the ER and I met God
And he said he'd give me another chance
And to see the lesson as a blessing that taught me
And to follow the green and only the green
Cuz all the red will ever do is stop me

And now, because of you, dark nights, red lights and good music will never be the same.
These are the paralyzed feelings you brought me
Sometimes if you're too distracted, you can crash, and end up severely or chronically damaged.
510 · Nov 2015
HighXOffLife
Endya Tremese Nov 2015
You know how they say when you take drugs, the closer you come to death, the better the high?

Life is a drug
And it's deadly
It can have you up so high one second, and then have you crashing down hard.

Today I got high
It started off as if I were drinking a detox to cry all my tears.
Then the tears came faster,
so unexpectedly
And the thoughts came faster
So unintentionally

But I grabbed a pair scissors
and reached for some earphones
Ran into the bathroom and blasted Pandora through my earphones
Hoping but hating that I wish it was your voice through my earphones
Till your face popped up and my eyes were too blurry to see what wasn't so much a clear phone

I sat on the floor
Hoping you would know
Hoping in your heart,
you'd tell everyone to go
Hoping that you'd call
and then you'd get me sobered up
But I had pushed you away once and you were good to let me know
You're s i n g l e..

I thought I was your friend, your family,
your sister
Well I guess not so much,
at this point, my wrist blisters
I go harder and go deeper but the scissors aren't sharp,
so I go faster in my wrist while my soul is in the dark

I got dubstep blasting in my ears
cuz I can't fade the noise
Of the blade killing every skin cell,
now these scissors are just toys

I needed something to get the job done,
something hopefully fast
I didn't have time for scars and regrets.
I needed something to make it last.

So here's the part where I get closer
To the nonexistent devil himself
I grab a robe rope just hoping you'd respond
when I texted you for help

No one else could ever stop me
Because no one else understands
How high I can get off life
And letting the ******* coarse be ran

So I start to see these energies,
And they're all negative and dark
They surround me, waiting,
To see their ******* work of art

I sit as still as if I were sleep
Sitting up with my eyes open
I could only imagine what I looked like
Probably dead and nearly broken

So I pick up my rope
And I begin to make a noose
I make it tight
No room for loose
No room for mistake
No room for regret
No room to wake up again with my pillows soaking wet

So I tie it around my neck
And oh boy, it's getting serious
Without a thought, I just drop
But now I get a little curious

as to why I don't see
the freaking devil in my room
Cuz I definitely feel him,
guess I'm not that close to doom.

And after it gets tighter and tighter
I can feel my airways cut off
I think about my phone and wish it had been cut off
If it weren't for you, these thoughts would have been cut off
But if it weren't for you, this rope wouldn't have been cut off
Sorry, I know this format is crazy, but I hope you enjoy
501 · Jan 2016
Broken Again
Endya Tremese Jan 2016
If you loved me
You wouldn't have found someone so fast
If you cared about me
You would've wanted to text back fast
If you thought I was perfect
No matter how blind, you would've seen that I'm worth it
So I'm sorry if my trust is gone
I'm sorry that my mind is wrong
I'm sorry that my heart is crushed
And I wear my insecurities inside out
Showing how damaged I really am now
I'll never be the same as I was before
I trusted you to open every door
You took me so ******* high
But I swear when I felt the floor
I shattered into a million pieces
Watching you with someone, teasing
Me, laughing off in my face
And I couldn't keep up the pace
So I used the only chance I got
To run from that ******* place
I gave myself up
When I seen opportunity
So I'm sorry that you let me know
There would never be a you and me
480 · Dec 2015
Checkers
Endya Tremese Dec 2015
If you make a move...
You're left with nothing.

If you don't make a move...
You're left with nothing.

So in the end,
You'll have more than you ever had before.
Found some old poems that were on my previous Hello Poetry account. Made me really happy.
469 · Jan 2015
Don't Fall
Endya Tremese Jan 2015
I told myself before that I wouldn't ever fall in love again...
And then I did it.

But how can you fall in love if you don't believe in love
Or do I just not want to believe in love
My heart drops and bleeds for love
It feels so good but not when you need the love
It hurts so bad after you eat, sleep and breathe that love.
....
I get attached and become something of a mother.
My feelings get hurt easily and I run for cover.
I block out any and everyone but I know I'll run back to you.
Because I've opened up and no one else really knows what to do.

But then you shut me out as well, I've officially pushed you away.
Its like i can never do the right things, I can never express what I want to say.
Last week I told myself I'd never fall in love again.
But yesterday, I felt it in my heart but I feel like I committed sin.

Because today, I'm back at last week, where I wish I didnt have feelings.
I wish I could tear down my emotions without holding up the ceiling.
I wish you were here to wipe my tears but I know that you don't want to.
I pushed away everyone that I could always cry and run to.
468 · Oct 2014
Alice
Endya Tremese Oct 2014
I can't trust anyone to not hurt me.
Not even myself.
454 · May 2018
Safe
Endya Tremese May 2018
I just want to feel secure.

When I cry to you, run to me.
Be afraid to let my tears fall...
as if any one of them had ran too far down my face,
another drop of blood would pour from your heart
because it pains you so bad to see me cry.
Feel as hurt as you would if you had seen your mother cry.
Maybe not as much
but just COMFORT ME ******!

I want to feel secure.

Look me in the eye and tell me you love me.
Not in that voice that you use when you're annoyed.
Make me feel loved and wanted.
Make me feel
like no one could ever replace the love we have
because it's just that ******* strong.

I want to feel secure.

Go out and adventure with me.
I know that I'm your best friend,
but I'm also more than that.
I don't want to just sit at home with you and play video games.
 There's so much more to life.
There's so many skies we have yet to see.
I want to only see them with you,
and hope that you to only want to see them with me.

I want to feel secure.
444 · Jan 2015
Go Away
Endya Tremese Jan 2015
Sometimes I think it'd be better if this ain't exist
So I can erase another problem when it's you that I miss
438 · Oct 2014
Hurt
Endya Tremese Oct 2014
I've learned that intentional pain doesn't hurt as much as accidental pain...physically and emotionally.
438 · Feb 2016
You're Mine
Endya Tremese Feb 2016
I miss driving 8 miles just to try to see you
But this distance is taking me to the ICU
I get so high now days, I think I see two
Trust so low. Constantly asking and need to see proof.

Got my heart ripped out and you started to tear it
And I ran away not knowing you'd be the one to repair it
Regretting physical moments that I ain't mentally cherish
That was my heart, my love, I'd never let you share it!

My heart was on my sleeve but I'll never let you wear it!
And my hate towards you, I swore I'd let you hear it
If a day came that I met her, you better bet she'd fear it
Man the **** we had, you KNOW another could never come near it
430 · Nov 2015
Rehab
Endya Tremese Nov 2015
On my way to rehab
Just one more short day
Till i have to say goodbye
Till i have to go away

Till i have to start a promise
That i know i shouldnt have made.
I promised I'd be better
But that's not as easy as said

I wish it didnt get this bad
I wish that it was better
I wish that I could move on like her
I wish I never m....

No. Thats not true.
I know I'm glad I met you
So I could ****** challenge myself
Trying not to mean that I regret you

And no, I'm not starting over
Consider this a step two
You took my life and ran with it
And I mother ****** let you

I'm glad I couldn't have kept you
Permanent damage, written in red too
I know you're probably sick of me
But I still hope the world will *bless you
418 · Jan 2016
My Final Decision
Endya Tremese Jan 2016
Pull it, pull it, just ******* do it.
Because if not now, you'll ******* lose it.
As I sit..with my knees to my chest,
I slide the gun up my thigh to my breast, and then up from my throat to my chin,
my heart beats..I can't help but listen,
and I put it in my mouth,
wishing for energy to shout,
but I take a breath
and then I take it out,
glide it across my cheek,
and up to my temple.
Call me a freak.
Call me mental.

Just end it all, right here, right now.
And listen close 'cause this will be your last sound.
Just ******* do it, this life ain't worth livin,
So let's get to it, call it My Final Decision.
I close my eyes and my face tightens,
Sorry to who will find me, I didn't mean to frighten.
Just ******* do it.
I pull the trigger
Get some chalk and draw my beautiful figure.
Another one of my lost poems from my old account. ♡
408 · Dec 2015
Cried My Tears
Endya Tremese Dec 2015
I got these words that I can't put together
I got this block, I know this poem could be better
If I could make this weight on my shoulders feel like a feather
Then I would but just look, this **** wasn't easy
I turned around and reached out, that **** made me queasy
Cuz I opened myself up and I let your *** read me
I should've trusted my gut, gave you the key to my heart but you keyed me
You told your squad to tune in to my sorrows and pleading
But I'm good now, ******* turned into 5
You ****** can't see me
403 · Oct 2016
Intimate
Endya Tremese Oct 2016
Sit on the edge of the bed
Spread your legs
Let me devour your divine
Grab and pull on my tiara
Let your golden skin and fingers melt within it
Entangle in it
Arch your beauty in ecstasy
Point your toes and try on your glass slippers
Step into the ball room of an ******* high
A new dimension
A colorful kingdom
We rule this realm
Back and forth, from battling
To sitting on our thrones
We celebrate
Over and over
Hand in hand
Body to body
Sweat and tears
Till we collapse and the night forever goes down in history
403 · Nov 2015
I Was There
Endya Tremese Nov 2015
I was there for you before you hurt me

I was there for you after you hurt me

I was there for you when i broke up with you

I was there for you when you pushed me away

I was there for you when u started to move on

I was there for you when you lied about it

I was there when u started distancing yourself from me

I was there for you when you stopped replying

I was there for you even though i was #3 on your list to be there for

I was there for you the day we had ***

I didn't want to be there for you when you told me you lost all feelings for me right after we had ***

And i stopped being there for you when you posted and reposted all the bull that you knew would hurt me and the things about your new found girlfriend

I stopped being there for you when you said you two would be cute together

I stopped being there for you when you said she was the cutest thing to ever sit in your passenger seat

I stopped being there for you when you said your bed smelled like her

I stopped being there for you when you quoted songs that we listened to together but meant it about her

I stopped being there when you said she might be your rain...



So dont ******* call me fake when i say not to hmp when you need me. Cuz you werent there for me. You were only the cause of my suffrage
This was a text before it was a poem, and I wanted to leave it in its original form. Hope you guys like it.
390 · Dec 2015
Exposure
Endya Tremese Dec 2015
I won't expose your body
I won't expose your temple
But I'll do even worse
And I'll expose your mental

Tell them how we used to be
And tell them how you used me
Tell them how you let go
And never was afraid to lose me

I got a lot of hate built
But I wont expose your pics
And yea you played me like an instrument
But I won't expose those chicks

Cry a ******* fake river
Filled with words that contradict
And acid in every word
That your mouth could possibly spit

I think you believe your own lies
I think you like this lil disguise
Cuz I swear when I look at you
I look the devil in his eyes

I knew you liked to play with fire
And I really hate to admit
That now I know what you meant
When you said one match had our hearts lit
378 · Oct 2016
Enchantment
Endya Tremese Oct 2016
I'd wish I had known you sooner but I mean...
We have the rest of forever and this is pretty **** perfect

You're kinda like Cinderella
No one expects your presence to light the eyes of everyone in the room
You probably don't expect it either
But Princess, you do.

Except you don't need no mice, no fairy, and no carriage.

I could wrap you in the richest of silk or the most unprocessed fur
Throw loads of makeup on you and contour your contour
But I'd still prefer you naked with steam outlining your body like fog over a lonely lake

And a lonely lake you are
But only because you choose to be

You choose not to be a river, where all of your secrets and thoughts could flow on into the next body of water
You choose to be hidden and secluded and only welcome those, who choose to visit, with your peace and tranquility

And you stay happy because of all the life around you.  From the sun visiting everyday to the wild grass and weeds sprouting through you.
You know that life is beautiful.  And you are Cinderella, kept behind closed doors.
Like a still lake, you're a hidden positivity.
376 · Aug 2016
Feel Me
Endya Tremese Aug 2016
I feel myself breaking on the inside.
I feel myself taking out my insides.

Starting with my heart
I take that apart
So no ones key can no longer fit

And next is my brain
So these thoughts can be tamed
And put together the poetry I spit

I cut open my veins,
So I can empty my soul
So you can really see what's on the inside

And I give you my lens
So you see dimensions
And see what I see with my eyes

I want to be felt,
but not physically touched
I want you to feel how I feel

I take myself apart
Starting with my insides
And finally feel with the skin that I've peeled
370 · Nov 2014
Your Life
Endya Tremese Nov 2014
Don't get your hopes up for what you've only imagined.
You look towards relief of life but it is life that saddens.
You dream of a dream that will only be a dream.
But it's the sad truth and reality that you never seem to fathom.

Dream of a reality that you see with your eyes open.
Actually take a step so no one can leave you broken.
You were chose to live in this life with these obstacles of negativity.
But the obstacles of negativity was the life that you had chosen.

It's your life.
How do you want to live it?
356 · Oct 2014
My Stranger
Endya Tremese Oct 2014
Did you say it 'cause you were sad
Did I make you that mad?,
That your words were directed at my face with a jab?

After all we've been through?
After all you've told me?
You had the nerve to speak the words
"you dont even know me"?!

I know that I hurt you.
I'd apologize to this day.
But I'd turn to dust if I made you look back that way.

I want to leave it in the past,
But does it ever cross your mind?
How bad we got from great to grit in just so little time?

Because I was just too blind,
Didn't even open my eyes
But when I did, I realized that you were one of a kind.

Because when I fought for you...
It's something only one other had gotten.
But it was the other that buried my heart and you took it after it was rotten.

I won't ask any other questions,
Because I know what you can do..
Because deep down I seen your pain, but I'm scared to know the truth.

I just want to know...
if its real or my little myth?...
That I do not know the person that I fell in love with...
Honestly, I really really love when I get the feeling in my body that tells me "Start Writing! This one is going to be good!" Because every time I do, I let out so many meaningful lines that I can never figure out how to say in a regular conversation.
346 · Nov 2015
Admit It
Endya Tremese Nov 2015
What hurt so bad is that you accused me for my wrong doings
When you almost did the same danm thing
Yet, it was so easy for you to move on
And even lost the engagement ring

That night I asked you
What ever happened to it
I wanted it back, but
Your answer already blew it

It never meant anything
To you for real
And now it's obvious.
That ring could never seal the deal.

Stop lying to yourself saying you were hurt
Because his face wasn't new
Cuz that don't mean ****
Compared to you and your new boo

A person was there on each side,
Whether they came then or later
So please give me a break
Or just do me a favor

Admit that we were no different
And that we really did care
But admit you were more willing
To replace what we had there

Admit that you moved on
Only because you chose to
And stop blaming me
And putting on these ******* shows too

Admit that it wasn't me
That made you so willing
Admit that it was her
That made you really lose feelings
I'm tired of being blamed. If you really loved me like all the times in the months that you said you did, you would've held on to me, and kept me close and taken me back when i begged for you most cuz you knew **** well we were in the same boat. But you didnt, you stuck with someone new... and that alone tells me everything I need to know. If its real, you dont let something like that go, and thats why it was so hard for me to move on...because it was real.. to me.  Your eyes are for someone else. And all I really want, is for you to admit that you had moved on just because you wanted to...not because of what I did...

That's what kills most
343 · Nov 2014
Falling Again
Endya Tremese Nov 2014
Could fall in love with you over and over again...
Heart drops. Breath stops. My whole head spins.

It's crazy because when it happens, it's just you and I.
Nothing else around us. Not even dark or light.

There is no other existence other than powerful connection.
Everything your mind sends to mine, I am accepting.
You're the only one I know that can put history in repeat,
Unless I can too, then you'd, again, fall in love with me.
340 · Dec 2015
Dirty
Endya Tremese Dec 2015
We spat in each others faces
Running the longest races
And jumping over obstacles
Barefoot on burning rocks and hills

Trying to find whats missing
And wishing that i was kissing
Those lips that had me slittin
My wrist and using my fist

To punch these walls that closed up on me
While i let you get closer up on me
To hold me and not let go of me
Saying, proving and showing me

Energies walk around us
We hid from them but they found us
Tore us apart to pound us
As we yelled but heard no sound but

Will you really make love to me
Say that theres none above me
And try to seriously trust me
Take it out on me lustily

Be my forever and always
Hold my hand like we did in hallways
I know you're tired of this phase
Lets get back or be better than our old ways
Just writing
332 · Oct 2014
1 tear, 2 tears, 3 tears, 4
Endya Tremese Oct 2014
Mom used to tell me that I had to count sheep. Now I count tears because i cry myself to sleep.
310 · Dec 2015
Reality Into A Dream
Endya Tremese Dec 2015
Out of all things, this is playing it safe
Out of all people, shes the one you'd take
And with all the circumstances and situations and places that our relationship persuaded us to fulfill ******* breaks in us,...

thinking that it was mean to be, feeling a little ecstasy, ****** us up so mentally, but this is what you call "careully"?

I hope what God has in store for us is good. And if I could forget you right now then I would. But I understood every word you said, I just wish it would get off repeat in my head.

This ain't playing it safe
Even with all the **** ups, I thought that our relationship was strong enough to make anything work. But we will see what will happen. Have fun with her. Please dont fall in love with her...or anyone.
Endya Tremese Dec 2015
If I asked you to take the train down
Would you even visit me?
If I told you I missed the taste of your lips
Would you start kissing me?
Would you make my heartbeats pace race while you caress my face so tenderly
While I stare in your eyes just in case you really do remember me.

If I asked you if you love me
Would you still keep me guessing
Cuz if you sending mixed signals
I'm not going ever get the message
If I gave you my broken heart, would you handle it being reckless
Would inviting you back in be something you'd be regretting?

Nevermind, I gave my heart out once and even then I should've kept it
272 · Nov 2015
Stop
Endya Tremese Nov 2015
Stop checking up on her
You're not in her search history

Stop listening to those songs
They don't have the same meaning

Stop shutting people out
Because she's letting people in

Stop reminding yourself
About the scars on your skin

Stop remembering her face
Or what she liked to wear

Stop remembering her scents
And the feel of her hair

Stop hating every moment
That's no longer there

Just stop thinking about her
Because she no longer cares
Sometimes I'll be okay...but then I have moments where I just cant stop these things. But then, I'll be okay again.
272 · Apr 2018
Drowning
Endya Tremese Apr 2018
Are you there...
My emotions have been knocking at this same **** door but you fail to answer them when you hear them.
My feelings have been drowning in a ocean that your boat’s floating on, but I swear it feels like you don’t want to be near them.
I’ve cried over and over begging for you to just listen, but you only tell me to stop.
No comfort, no kisses, no hopeless romantic wishes.
You take advantage now that my heart is unlocked.
I’ve been stuck in this place. It feels like a trap.
The way you keep drawing me in.
You lift me on your boat so that I can breathe.
When I get a break, you throw me back in.
255 · Jan 2016
Fear
Endya Tremese Jan 2016
Have you ever been so scared that someone would break your heart
that you just wish that they'd go and do it already
so you can run far away with no forgiveness
...
assuming that the actual heartbreak
would be less painful than
the fear of it happening.
Cuz this fear ******* hurts like hell.
Everything negative starts with fear.
177 · May 2018
I’m not fine.
Endya Tremese May 2018
You know how people say “when I’m happy I’m sad”?
Well that’s not the case for me.
Because when I’m sad, I think about how everything devastates me.
And when I’m happy, I wish that moments like those can last forever.
I think to myself maybe this is destiny and things won’t get no better.
So when I’m sad, I won’t typically tell you that I’m doing fine.
My sadness is an overwhelming feeling that cannot be redefined.

— The End —