Don't assume I am bitter
Because you have free reign
Over the barren fields
That I once perceived to be fruitful

Don't seem yourself high and mighty
Because I once sighed the life
out of my own breath
into a dead recipient, thinking
that there was hope for rebirth
and you are now exhaling
your dark soul into his
and he reciprocates

When in reality,
death clings to itself.
So I am not mourning
that his sorrow did not cling to my joy
And stain it with death black spots.

Tears do not well in my eyes
because the sun and the moon
are on opposites sides of the earth
and it keeps revolving just the same

I hate that I can't kiss you
without the aftertaste
of him on my tongue
it reminds me to fear
loving someone too much
because he kissed me back
but he never loved me back

and I want so deeply
for this to be simple
but the last time
I let my guard down
I learned no one will protect you
...that you must do it yourself

Do you remember
our summers
I replay it in my memory
vividly, you infatuating me
we sat and talked ourselves
into loving one another
on a tree with branches
twisting awkwardly
Somehow
we settled on it comfortably
just the two of us
for the weekend
overlooking the still lake
reflecting our bare feet
the restless clouds
and the warm gold sun
spotting the peaks
of the pine trees
whose scent filled our lungs
the sun would fall to the lake
and I would fall for you again
it happened every time
every tedious summer
every nervous weekend
for four years of our lives

Then just yesterday, years later
you tell me the flowers
we found by the lake
that you gave to me
with a gentle kiss
were poisonous
then I tell you
even if I knew
back then
I'd still
kiss
you

holding those fateful flowers
every summer, all over again