I wanted to cut down

something that had barely begun to bloom

to pour poison on its roots so it may never

grow again

maybe it was envy driving me

or maybe I just wanted the world to see

how fleeting youth and beauty

can be

If fire burns
and destroys
everything
in it’s path

then why
do I want
to touch
the stars

so badly

can self destruction
really be so
beautiful

I am just
trying to
find my
way home

when all the
breadcrumbs
have been
eaten

by crows

I am
sleeping in the
graveyard
where I buried
you

living in a
body without
a heart that’s
whole

breathing with lungs
coated in the tar from
your cigarettes

a constant memory
of you, taking me back
with every exhale

I said goodbye
yet still, you live
inside of me

in every *****
and drop of
blood

on every inch
of skin, each
hair

your grave
swarms as your
bones reform

and I cannot
rest in
peace

Red and white checks

concealing sec
- rets

grass blades irritating

bare thighs

fingers trace a pattern on them

marking my flesh in ways I don’t

understand

yet know too well

the pencil draws higher and higher

until it reaches

my centre

yet I am off balance

and the world is spinning around me

clouds dancing across the sky

the sun piercing my eyes

yet still I stare at it

too scared to break the gaze

and return back to my body where

blood is simmering below

but never boiling over

never exposing

never letting anyone else

in on

- it

lips sealed

terrified for the day the locks get

broken

You stand
one foot outside the door
expecting me to pull you back
by my heartstrings

but I am tired,
and no longer beat
in time to your

movements

so, go

and I shall burn
myself to ashes
to rise again

and your memory
shall be dust

we walk
under a canopy
of wasps drunk
on rotten apples

a second away from
a sting in the neck
that would put an end
to our feet tracing the

path to our destiny