you are the rain in june,
it’s funny how lovely
a nuissance can be.

I never understood why people compared
kisses to fireworks
until i knew what it was like
to want someone so much
that all you could feel inside you
were explosions.

lately i've needed the color blue
the thought of crawling into bed
the songs about denver and seattle and the late-night flights across the continent, my love
i need a haven for my dreams, and a place to rest my head

you've always been ready to run.
even would sleep with your shoes on for the best jump start just in case.
newsflash: you could run for as far and as long as you want, but you're never going to be able to outrun your deepest regrets and darkest thoughts.
now you've left the state and "it *****."
when you get a chance to on the other side of the world, take your shoes off, forget the girl, and take it easy.
you will find all of your darkest thoughts and ghosts will quit haunting as soon as you stop running.

you had a lot of words to say,
but when you attempted finding them- you were restricted. i wish i could have somehow helped retrieve them, but i never made the cut. too bad i can't take away the darkness and bitterness that pumps through your blood with every beat of your heart- but that's your fault. keeping secrets and everything inside have always been your forte, but will soon become your silent killer. the secrets out that you musn't be as strong as your front.

Maybe it's because I feel as though today's work hasn't been completed.
Or possibly because today has ****** and surely should have been better.
Depending on the day, sometimes I don't want 11:59 to sneak up on me because my bad days seem to out number the good and I want the good days to last much longer than one more lousy minute.
I can't quite put my finger on what it is I hate the most about watching the time change from 11:59 to midnight.
Perhaps what I hate the most is, like it or not, I  will never have a chance to live this exact day again.  
Whenever 12 am rolls around, I can't help but cringe.

you got a fast car
i want a ticket to anywhere
maybe we can make a deal
maybe together
we can get somewhere
anyplace is better
starting from zero
got nothing to lose
maybe we'll make somethin
me myself i got nothin to prove

i've been wondering
when it stops
people say it stops
when you want it to
but how do i tell that
to my dreams
when all i can think about
is running up to kiss you
in the parking lot of anywhere
it makes me wanna drink
and say everything
like sometimes i think about
what it would've been like
if i had let you go
when i
was still strong enough to do it
like i never knew hell
had such a pretty voice
like i tried to make it all day
without saying
"wish you were here"
like lately i've been going back
to all the places we've been
to see what it's like without you
it is the worst game
of hide & seek
every time i close my eyes
to count
you just go home
i seem to only wear my seat belt
on days you call
on days you're all *never been better
and i just wanna tell you
how much I hate window shopping
and daylight goodbyes
you just sit there
when you could say anything
you could tell me
you noticed i started drinking again
you could even make it up
you could say you miss me, too
you could say
you missed me so much
that the other day
you accidentally bought
two coffees instead of one
you could tell me
how you've been
without me
that you sleep so much better
these days
without having to worry
you can say what you have
to just don't say leaving
was like shooting fish in a barrel
cause i swear i'm nostalgic
for things i pretended were real
and i swear
i don't want a seance
until there's something
worth bringing back
take me back
to all the places i tried to love you
back to a time
where i knew my name  
without you having to say it

*you got a fast car
is it fast enough
so we can fly away
you gotta make a decision
leave tonight
or live & this way

all the scenery was grey
cheeks and pink noses
carrying the color of the day
windshield wiper rhythms
passing dark bare branches
"you are my chicago"
not sure what that means
a friend that one day leaves
or the boy of my dreams...