lying here overcome with nonsensical emotion
i want to cry for reasons so overwhelming i can't bring myself to
the longing to cry resides in my chest as a dull ache
an ache that i do not know how to eradicate
so i take to a poetry website and allow strangers to relate to me,
if they'd like

how is it that you can hurt me so badly
but also be the one to fix me every time

each time you ignore me it's like a knife slices me open a little bit more
but when you talk to me again it numbs the pain
and when you tell me I'm beautiful you stitch up the wound,
only to rip it open when you tell another girl the same

im so stupid for letting this happen
over and over and over again
but i let it
because when we're at our best
you make me feel the happiest I've ever been

and if these wounds leave scars
i will not be sad
because it would be an honour
to be able to say that it was you who left these marks on my skin

i wonder what you're doing but i never ask
i wonder how you are but i never ask
i wonder how you feel but i never ask
i wonder how you felt but i never ask
i wonder if you ever wanted to ask me the same

if these walls could talk
no one would believe them if they heard what they had to say
all of her butterflies came to life again
filling the space
their wings flitting with excitement
at this once familiar feeling
who knows how long they will fly for,
if they will ever drop to the ground
one by one
until that all too familiar feeling of emptiness
returns
but for now, she doesn’t care
blissfully ignorant,
waiting
praying
holding on
hoping her butterflies remain flying

my chest hurts, on and off on and off
deep deep rooted feelings and emotions
too complicated to be able to write or express fully
my chest hurts because i cant let this out
dont know if i ever will be able to
deep roots tangled round everything around me
everything connected
all so complicated
feeling nervous\
this is so real on my behalf
dont know what i want