The fault. The blame.
The pain’s still there.

There’s this person that watches me at night.
Spray painting the walls in the moonlight.
I don’t know his name, but he just sits.
And he watches.
I hide my face with a respirator and hood.
Hoping I don’t get caught.
I love the smell of the paint, I wonder if that’s why he watches me.
He enjoys what I enjoy.
Hopefully, one day.
We’ll cross paths again,
Fully intact.
And enjoy these nights.
Where we felt so Abstract.

Switching schools is like moving to a new town
You don’t see those people unless one of you reaches out
And they never do so you are left alone in that what it feels like a “new town”
You have no support and those people who said they would be there
But to no surprise they are not anywhere to be found
They are just a text message away and a thirty minute drive
But is it that much of a burden for you to say “Hi” or “How are you”
I guess it is to you
Our school colors were paper white and royal purple now the thought of it makes me the saddest blue
School break can turn into heartbreak especially when you don’t come back and nobody notices that you didn’t
I might not be there the first or last day of school not BY choice but for MY well being
You won’t ever text back or call to show effort acknowledging my existence now that’s YOUR choice and to that choice I will never understand
I just hope you know that choice YOU made let me spiral into a deep black endless hole
A hole that was always there like an annoying loose thread on your sweater
But I never thought I’d get caught in that deep dark endless hole
Who knew all you had to do was say “Hi” or “Hey” instead of giving me feelings that make me think you are pushing me away
Because you sure didn’t

They say how you should learn how to love yourself in order to be able to love others
But I was never one to listen to what “they say”
You most definitely can love others before you learn to hold the same feeling for yourself
Self love doesn’t have to deviate from the path of wanting to love someone other then yourself

Strawberry blonde hair that lays so effortlessly yet so perfectly on you
Crystal blue eyes accompanied with so much warmth
Your voice is like the ocean it pulls me in so softly when you let me wash back to shore it’s not long before the thrill of being pulled in was back
Your smile is so contagious when you smile it’s not long after that that I’m smiling too
Your laugh is my favorite part it’s like a quote you know is coming up in the office you can’t help but to follow along leaving your stomach hurting and your face sore from joy
You are perfection
With your welcoming hugs
With the warmth you bring in what can be such a timeless day without any color
When you reached out for my hand to hold our fingers interlocked
It felt so right leading our eyes too meet that was the last puzzle piece leaving a perfect picture you have been ever so eager to finish

All I adore and so much more
Mí amor eres mi todo, my spanish is a little rough but my love for you is not
The way she holds my hand it feels so euphoric
I hope you know my love that I adore you
I adore you with my whole being and that will never change
My heart beats only for you I do not mean to sound cliché but it’s absolutely true
You are always on my mind no matter what
The view of you never fails to take my breath away
I know we have not known each other for very long but I hope to know you forever
You are the light in my life not only because your smile lights up a room but also you give me the light for my candle
Without you I would be left in the dark and I pray to God that nothing will ever end up breaking us apart

You pulled me in closer this time it was different
You used the structure of my face as a intimate guide for your fingertips
I knew then we were meant to be
I then looked into your eyes noticing how dilated your pupils were
I looked into them so long that I started to see my own faint reflection looking back at me
The view of you is such a beautiful thing to see
You began to run your hand through my hair almost so that it became comforting
I smiled
Then you kissed my lips like never before
My heart felt full
I watched you sit up so I then did too, except you turned around getting onto your knees
Our eyes interlocked then our hands as you pushed me onto my back
I stayed lying there
You leaned in to kiss me I beat you to it and kissed you harder grabbing onto your hips
We are in love