Removing myself,
A sudden flick of a switch,
Ignoring friends none of which
Know what happened,
That I am malfunctioning,
A coil tightening, becoming frightening
Because another was loosened,
Forcing replies,
Days long without goodbyes,
There was no one to try,
Throw out a message,
Not wanting to respond when they do,
One thing is true,
I am growing distant,
My body is resistant,
Fingers not touching a keyboard or a pen,
Because then.

I crack open,
Spill guts,
Give out trust,
As though I simply must
and I do like my life depends on it.

Before I go cold again,
Then I stop taking to any friend,
Wondering when this fight will end.

I want to give you beauty,
Carefully crafted words in lines,
Show you how nice the world can be,
Yet, I don't know what yours could be,
And that hinders me
From reaching you completely.
I am a stranger,
You could associate me with danger,
Maybe your hopes are endangered,
Like glass on the pavement,
Dropped from the 20th floor,
I don't know the baggage you store,
I don't know what I'm in for,
But unpack your bag,
I can tell it makes your shoulders sag.
Now we have an empty bag,
And yet your shoulders still sag.
I am not a stranger,
You know I would never put you in danger,
I am trying to pick up the glass,
Some of it just got lost in the blades of grass,
Don't give me sass,
I am trying to help,
Your words just pelt,
Stone after stone at what I was trying to build,
No I don't understand how it feels,
But that doesn't mean I can't try to rebuild,
We can try again,
You're my friend,
Please don't pack hat bag,
I hate seeing your shoulders sag,
We couldn't find all of your hopes,
But maybe if we just-

I was told to wait,
So that is what I did,
For someone to get home,
To know I'm not alone,
Stuck in this silent destructive zone,
I do not have a throne,
On which I sit with joy,
Emotions are something people like to toy,
That is not what I do,
I like to know what is true,
To be safe with myself,
And not disappear by putting everything on a shelf,
Shoving item after item,
Until I can't feel anything,
Making sure my fingers will sting,
After I've finished putting my things on the shelf,
A whole new cycle,
Of useless thoughts,
Getting lost in a head,
Half wanting my dead,
I don't know what I could have said,
Being a burden is the last thing I want to do,
That is one of the few things I say that has to be true,
Otherwise I have no value,
To whatever I say,
Or the side of me that I constantly display.

Mangled,
From a mess of sharp tangles,
Comes a sad excuse,
Or a filler,
The air is not any less still,
From a weak word,
One that has no more energy stored,
For it has been devalued,
Senseless use has drained it,
Leaving the speaker as the culprit,
Taking value away every time it was uttered,
Using it the wrong way
In place of having nothing to say,
No way to get me to sway,
Attempting forgiveness,
With deceptiveness,
The misused word,
With nothing left to give.
Sitting empty across a screen,
Sparking no emotion,
Not even the slightest commotion
In a buzzing brain,
From snapping I will refrain,
Yet not for too long,
I am tired of this repeatitive meaningless song.

The five letter word,
Said sarcastically,
As I show just the opposite of it,
Walking away,
Letting hips softly sway,
Ignoring the feelings bubbling up,
Grabbing a cup,
Coloring and drenching,
Watching colors stain the page,
Letting the water fade,
Seep through the paper,
Change the shape,
Bubbling in odd places,
Like my misplaced feelings,
Quietly reeling,
To a few people revealing,
A fraction of how I think,
Silently beginning to sink,
Into my mind,
Before distracting myself,
Putting everything on the shelf,
Drowning myself in the voices of strangers,
Removing dangers,
Left in the odd comfort of grown people,
Telling me things,
That remove any tiny stings.

It slipped away,
Not sure if I wanted it to stay,
Somewhere along those laughs,
Humorless jokes,
The ones that made me hide how much I wanted to choke,
Life from you and I,
This disguise,
Was very unwise,
It could peak through,
Like a toe in a broken shoe,
Not sure quite what to do,
Just keep laughing,
Making it worse,
A silent curse,
Of taking things too far,
Or possibly worse not far enough,
Being around humans deemed tough,
Sometimes necessary,
The answer will vary,
Depend on the human,
And time of day,
There I go starting to stray,
Looks like it all gets away from me.

Little necessary things,
Helping us measure,
Know at what point to sever,
Allows us to put things together,
Having us define forever,
Until these numbers take over the mind,
It was a curious find,
Look at these little things observe them,
Have control over them and can find their sum,
At no cost to anyone,
Simple adding,
Moving on to subtraction,
Multiply and divide,
Then apply it to life,
Mange intake,
See how many you can shake,
Quantify how much you feel fake,
Ignore that you may want cake,
Unaware that these numbers got to your head,
Taking over,
Run for cover,
Oh wait,
It is much too late,
Signs ignored,
Words stored,
Remembered at later times,
For worse rhymes,
Let the numbers dictate your life,
Or get away from it,
Ignore the nagging in your mind,
Just to try and find,
Peace,
Relief from what you put yourself through,
Becoming aware of these numbers,
Devouring feelings,
As a replacement for what you gave numbers the ability to steal,
You have hallow to feel,
Empty,
Slipping into sick number habits,
Let it fall away,
Deal with numbers some other day.