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Suddenly
I am not afraid of the future
A warm smile
From an unseen force
But I can still feel it

And I know everything will be okay

More then okay

Life is truly beautiful
And I wish I could share what I feel at this moment
With everyone in the entire world

And the best part is,
I am not alone
I never was.

So busy looking for love
I missed that which was already in my life
Staring right at me

But now my eyes are opened
and this is exquisite
 Mar 2013 Emanuel Martinez
Tea
I remember that dance your head would do
Staring at you as your sleepy eyes wandered
Your head looking too heavy for you neck to bare
As drugs took you for a ride to who knows ware
And you would always play
Smiles all the way, guiding me to happy
Sticky fingers running away
With the popsicle that you gave
Snarky grin as  you would beg
Please tickle me. Rub my legs
He got old, and worn through
But never stopped loving me
Loving you. Sometimes he would
Go out and buy, pecan pie
And he looked so happy with that treat
I still think of you
In the little things
In all kinds of food
Remember the way we played
And all the things we’d do
Grandpa you were the place
Ware evil met with good
The paradox that no one understood
You never showed your darkness
Whenever I was around
But you light me up
Picked me up
Ten feet up off the ground
But as I grew to understand
You were a mixed up man
But I knew you loved me.
I love you, and miss you too
Grandpa thanks for always shining
 Mar 2013 Emanuel Martinez
Tea
Your gaze warms me up
Something happens when we touch
Melting me from my frosted life
Chilling truth is,I liked to hide
The routine and everyday
I surround myself but never played
Twisted locks and taunting eyes
Light me up deep inside
And a smile came to say
Daring me to be this way
Listen laugh and goof around
I can’t believe what I've found
That smile I wrote about
And now I know the sound
Of low golden tones
that flipped my life around
laugh with me
continue to cast that smile
play for a while.
I dare you =)
 Mar 2013 Emanuel Martinez
Tea
I am a thousand million words
Letters sung and silence
A hundred kinds of laughter
Breaking up the quiet
A trillion upset feeling
Grouping, giant riot
A kiss, a dare to try it
I refuse to hear a tone
Even as golden rich as yours
Say I am not worth it
When mine you haven’t heard
You haven't tried it
You haven’t pressed your fingers
Along old withered words
Pages un-flipped, not turned
Haven’t inhaled the smell
Of  pretty printed page
Haven looked past the cover
To see what i have to say
Do not tell me i'm not worth it
You haven't read the words yet
I'm the best thing you don't know yet
 Mar 2013 Emanuel Martinez
Tea
Wild Fire Dancing

Wild fire dancing in electric red and orange
Softly making noise
Warmth that feels across a face
All consuming charm filling in my space
Exploding out so far
Reaching out my arms
Singing through the silence
Refuse to be beat
Holding down the violence
Past is passing, green grass is lasting
Hold my breath, fasting
Chasing after
Happy ever after
With happy in my hands
That’s my plan
I’m wild fire dancing
 Mar 2013 Emanuel Martinez
Tea
I want to read the chapters
In the book you tuck away
To understand the habits
You found in different days
Sculpt the sweet smile
That’s painted across your face
Hide inside the arms
That seems to turn away
I don’t know if it is me
Or if it’s something else
But I would like to know
The warmness that I felt
 Mar 2013 Emanuel Martinez
marina
if only we could choose which scars
fade and which remain;
i'd rid myself of every that bore
semblance to your name.
 Mar 2013 Emanuel Martinez
marina
i just want a boy like
holden caulfield-
maybe not all yellow,
but a great whistler

someone who reads novels
before he goes to bed

somebody to catch me
when i dance to close to the edge

i guess that's all i could
ever really ask for.
everybody has a literary crush.  who cares if mine is a little cranky?  he's perfect.
 Mar 2013 Emanuel Martinez
marina
if you'd like,
we could play pretend-
i'd be sylvia plath, if you'd
be my modern-day
cummings;

we can meet in
the coffee shop on
forty-eighth and first
and talk about suicide
over tall cups of coffee
that taste like your grandfather's cigars

and when neither of us are
up for walking
we'll go out to the park
and sit
on the bench by the pond
and hold hands

(i won't really feel your fingers by mine
until they become
sticky with sweat; we'll look at each other
and realize it doesn't mean a thing
to either
except for maybe the first attempt on both parts
to not feel so alone)

when the sun sets,
i'll cry
and not have an answer
when you ask for one.
elliot & plath & cummings, ohmy
 Mar 2013 Emanuel Martinez
fdg
My job is to crunch my spine together
so I can wring the problems out of my flesh
and leave them soaking on the floor.

I hope to make this my job forever.
two ice packs today, major ibuprofen and vitamin intake necessary, many band-aids and medical tape and swollen knees with bruised bones and dislocated toes and blisters that never heal
but it is all worth it
completely worth it
because when life gives me a problem, I solve it on the dance floor.
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