beneath the deserved
and the earned
are the entitled
lazy idiotic
faux oppressed
and emo pathetic
faux disabled
and outraged
from a basement
enabled by parents
non confrontational
and oblivious
to a future
full of failure
out of duty
out of love
out of pity

expectation defines meaning
with exception
'hey how are you?' is a greeting
not a question
like fake **** are just illusion
not deception

some lies are not collusion
just confusion
some lies induce delusion
for a reason

the truth and being truthful
are not mutually exclusive
it's the lie not in confusion
that's relationship pollution

anger the vice
carnal and base

lovey dovey the gimmick
obfuscating and ardent

propagation the purpose
of our gardens of eden

and the vice of the gimmick
is normalized mental illness

diamonds and pearls
jealousy and hatred
marriage - divorce
attraction - repulsion

carnal and base

anger and love
hunting and *******
protecting and killing

carnal and base

and all from the same

feeding a hunger
with a purpose

carnal and base

our hallmarks of survival
they are not what they seem

not today
          (it's all roses)
manufactured and clean
     like a dream
                  (like commercial)

condemned to truly be free
to invent your own meaning
to code your own morality
arbitrarily

condemned to be born
too late to explore the world
too soon to explore the stars
just in time to know the difference

condemned to an existence
too temporal to really know
too inquisitive to ever stop
screaming questions at the void

condemned to see
just enough to be awed
just enough to know nothing
absolute about anything

when memory remembers
patterns of survival
in the bush in the wild
it feeds it defends
it leads species to dominance

when memory remembers
moments in specific
all distorted and faulty
in the world in the modern
it leads species to confusion

why memory remembers
is not what we remember
but how we survive
in a world of competition
it leads by what works

all truth is irrelevant
as we logically know it
in the wild in the bush
today is always the gift
tomorrow always the wish

             no matter specifics
    it's all about instincts

so what's a pornhub?
lies every man alive

for shame

and what are we really like?
(in the dark)
hides everything breathing

insecurely

and what do we really want?
(as a question)
always complicates bartering

and *******

so how do i really feel?
and for a dollar i might tell you

why eye contact's endangered
why shame's a commodity
why so many of us humans
        seem so ******* petty
                 so ******* empty

but i don't think i need to
(as you already know)
      . . . about that

my monster times five
once kept me alive
my anger times six
then hit us like a ton of bricks
my self loathing times two
killed all of me in you
my regret times seven
is no ******* heaven
my vanity times eleven
will eventually be my armageddon
my kindness times twelve
always ends upon the shelf
my future times my past
always leaves me aghast
my present times my zero
is like my bone without the marrow
my only thing that's real
is really nothing
nothing really, at all