It might be strange that I feel most on two wheels.
The same wheels I might die on.
What's strange is it doesn't scare me.
I've had a taste of what life on a paved back means.
Knowing I could lose it, that is everything I carry on my back and my life.
That is freedom.
Carried by spokes and throttle my only care is where do I fill my next tank.
Meeting faces I could fall in love with, but morning comes and I know I have to leave....
I just have to leave.
There's miles I haven't ridden and pasts I haven't rid myself of.
It's always that next town, the what's to come, and the thought of someday I might find that town and that one I can't ride away from.

I'm sorry. Almost embarrassing that everytime I have something to say is some where near 4 am. This time is just sober can't sleep. It's not a messed up introspective, once the bolts have loosened up the oil will leak, kind of thoughts. And I've had a lot of leaks lately. I feel a lot. And I become a stranger even to myself. I don't reach far incase I might need my hands to hold it all together. So I let go of of everything I had before, just to try to plug the wholes. I might struggle more than I let myself see.  I see that now. It's hard to see myself where I am because I was there before. Left someone, felt so terrible it stained. Fell into anything that didn't let you feel or atleast made it a little less memorable to feel. Rode that emptiness until it broke me. And walked away. Made something of nothing, moved my hands, created and provided, I built myself again. Then I met another.  She breathed into the self I had rebuilt. Showed me how to move again. But each wave always breaks and leaves it all in a scatter. Felt so bad it stained. Trying to clean it up.

What I deserve
I'll never really know
Always seemed like less than I got
Until it turned
You left me with no choice
These are the things I wish I could have said
You mean more than a moment of freedom
Than peace of mind and a good nights sleep.
I never wanted a way out
I wanted you more than my own right to live
More than the choice to find a better life
Never wanted to walk away
But you went and ****** it all up
And my feet are well ahead of my heart
I don't know if it will ever catch up
If ignorance is bliss then I wish I had never met you
But I'd rather suffer through your smile than take it away
It's funny how meant to be could be so wrong

You walked through those big church doors
Stuffed your hands in your pockets and shed your skin
Drove away peddle to the floor
And Picked up the bottle and crawled right in

Claimed whole again
But never came clean
You want to start anew but don't know how to begin
Found to many crutches so used to that lean

You loved your girl but never enough
To break the curse of what you've become

Stumbled in to the liquor store
The good in you never had a chance
To pick up another bottle of self remorse
The good in you never had a chance

Drink up my friends we'll dull our pains
Left past lovers behind and daughters the same
So we drink up to forget and cover our shame
But in the morning we know we'll remember their names

don't know why but we seem to find
Fighting and cursing all in our soul
that rocky road that bends our spine
One that all my lonesome brothers know

So drink up my friends we'll cover our shame
But in the morning we know we'll remember their names
Drink up my friends we'll hide our shame
In the morning we know we'll remember their names

Lovers and daughters they'll carry our shame
And in the morning they'll wake and expect the same

I lost sight of the moon for what seemed like a second and it was gone.
Turns out I hadn't seen that face for months.
That somehow made it a little easier to sleep that night.
Knowing it was gone before I knew it.
A crutch is a crutch but it kept me moving the best I could.

I am a man of few words.
I speak infrequently and with great intent if my mind is right.
I often think that if you cannot say what needs said in a few lines then you have not taken care to your thoughts and have wasted breath and time otherwise spent seeing and hearing what is often missed.

It took a moment
but none too many
to realize
these words don't carry weight
everything said
all that's been written
hang in the air
most leave untouched and untouching
some scarred and scarring
but by daybreak
after they've found the gaps in minds
to nest and fester

these words leave no trace
and break all the same