I'm two lips closer to forgetting you
Hands are hands and
Mouths breathe fire but
I can't pretend they know me like you do
Legs are legs and
His arms around me feel the same as yours but it doesn't matter cause he doesn't get me like you do
Did
Like you did

Each day I am closer to escaping you
closer to forgetting you
but each night I am reminded of who I remember you to be
closer to missing you
I close my eyes and you are next to me, again
holding my hand, again
closer to needing you
you visit me in my dreams and virtual reality
closer to forgiving you
I want to be closer to you

It has been months of reconciliation
Of learning to love myself again
Of learning to let go to what I can not change
And stop trying to change people
My worth is no longer dependent on how people prioritize me or how they treat me
But instead loving them through their mal treatment and most importantly
Loving myself through it
Letting go of contempt and resentment leaves room for new friendships and working on old ones
Cause six years mean everything and make it worth it

It is the age old ritual
Of time apart bringing us together
Or bringing it together
That is being away from you
Makes me realize how much I light up when I talk about you or want to talk to you
The last time I felt this way everything ended up in unrequited flames

I've ran away to all the far places where
I know you will not be
I have made memories in foreign tongues
and smiled into the eyes of people I will never see again

Perhaps, it is the reflection of our intermingling in space-
languages on two different wave lengths
destined to be separated again

Whenever I send you a carrier pigeon love letter I
hear from him instead or else
don't hear from you at all

I just want to hear my name on your mouth again cause
my memory of you will never be tainted
no matter how many times you try to sabotage it
I will always love you

I anxiously wait you to remember me while I try to forget you
It is all a bit too futile for someone so open hearted
I'm going to catch a cold
Our love has grown cold but my heart will keep it warm
I've always been a warm fire for you
kindling for you to ignite

I know all your secrets, I am not sure that you know mine
I hold them close to me
I imagine a world where you miss me where you ring me again
You have come and gone I can not forget that
Can not forget the day we met
Forget the day you left
I cried

Whenever I am with someone else I always think of you
I measure him to you
even though you were nothing short of a let down
I paint you perfect
remember you between the moon and my brow
under the starlight between the blades of grass or
sitting, a safe distance apart
you always kept me a safe distance apart

I'm sorry for
what I did cause
I never wanted you all to leave
That wasn't me
I just told the truth and
what happened,
was going to happen
You all broke me and I am sorry I fell this way
I am I mean it
I'm not facetious
I miss you all and I wish it could be the same again
Wish we could laugh together about the good times or talk about the bad but I understand
I still grieve
I am sure you do too
Didn't think that conversation in the green chairs would change everything
Couldn't hold it in anymore
When I shattered so did my walls holding in your secrets
It's not just my fault
And it's not just yours
We're just kids at heart
But we had hearts in our hands
I couldn't watch you let them fall
Had to catch them
So I dropped you
I'm sorry