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Elly Apr 2020
there are lots of bad days in times you chose to see the good ones and most of the times you must not have been looking. you focus on things that you thought is right and overlooked how is that right. that in life we need to realize and know that the things you see may not be you thought you were right about. we have to understand wrong people and wrong things in our lives for us to get to deserve the autumn of our lives. the right timing, people who didn't just see us but looked at us, someone who is sure about us, and someone who is right for us.

in this is kind of funny to me since realizing stuffs from this movie is just right. i needed to watch this twice in my life to look, to notice, and to understand. trust me, when i watched it for the first time i didn't understand it. and now would you look at me typing this thoughts on how i did not just understand the movie but what does it want us to realize when it comes to life. as what summer answered in tom's question on what happened? life happens.
Elly Apr 2020
hindi ko rin alam kung kailan ko ba ito matutuldukan
dahil sa totoo lang natatakot ako na baka ito maging tutuldok-tutuldok
o baka madagdagan pa ng napakaraming tandang pananong
at akalain ko na tapos na ang lahat ngunit masusundan pa pala ng kuwit
o ng panibago pa ulit na tudlok-kuwit
aaminin ko na hanggang ngayon naman umaasa pa rin ako
na baka sakaling magamit mo rin saakin ang panipi
sa tuwing may ikukwento ka, na baka tungkol na saating dalawa
na kahit man lang sa pamamagitan ng panaklong
maranasan ko ang mayakap mo kahit papaano sa storya mo
na maidugtong man lang ng gitling ang pangalan mo sa pangalan ko
o kahit siguro malagyan lang ng kudlit ang pangalan ko
na para bang inaangkin mo ako
na dumating sa punto na magamit mo ang tandang padamdam
pero alam kong hanggang dito nalang dapat
na kahit kailan hindi ito magkaroroon ng tutuldok
upang maipaliwanag kung bakit hindi
o kahit sagot kung paano ito matatapos
na hindi ito ganoon kadali tulad ng pag-ubos ko sa mga bantas
sa pag-ubos ko sa nararamdaman kong ito
upang matapos ang piyesa na ito
tulad ng pagtapos ko sa naiisip kong 'to.
Elly Apr 2020
we're like a broken glass, we get broken and don't get fixed. that's why they would replace us instead
Elly Apr 2020
parang sobrang lapit lang ng lahat kanina. napakarami rin na bituin na matatanaw kapag tumingala. sa tuwing sisilip din ako para makakita ng mga tao halos naririnig ko ang mga tinig ng boses nila na para bang ang lapit ko lang para maintintindihan ang pinaguusapan nila, miski ang pagbagsak ng mga kubyertos. paglapag ng plastik na may lamang pagkain, musika na ipinatutugtog nila at ang buwan na para bang napakadali lang abutin, kitang-kita ang liwanag na ibinibigay nito. sapat para makita ko ang mga gusali na nababalot ng dilim. sa isang iglap, naisip kita. naalala ko ang mga maikling pag-uusap natin. lahat ng naramdaman ko nuon ay parang kanina lang sa sobrang eksakto ng nararamdaman ko. hanggang sa mapaisip ako ulit. ganoon ka kalayo saakin. na para bang mas malayo pa sa katotohanang malayo ang buwan at ang mga bituin na nakikita ko sa langit. ganito ka kahirap tingalain at abutin.
Elly Apr 2020
i always tell myself
not to step on broken glass
but it's too late
just as i entered your world
i
Elly Apr 2020
maybe you wanted me to hate you
'cause God knows how much I love you,
maybe you hate me, or you just don't like me
'cause why else would you...
appear and disappear in my life like that
like you were just passing by;
i watch you at it
waiting and waiting
while here i am
waiting for you to decide.
to stop,
to look at me,
and see me,

choose me?

you wanted me to hate you
for me to forget that i love you,
so i could stop waiting
and you stop evolving in your own remorse.
'cause every person knows its exhausting
to be inside this room, this kind of feeling.

and maybe,
just maybe
i would get tired of all these
hopefully
Elly Apr 2020
Get out of your shadow
make your own show
you're on your own light
because it what makes you bright

Prove your shadow
that you're worth following for
never look back
and keep your head up

Don't let the shadows of yesterday
spoil the sunshine of the following day
even the shadow leave
when you and your darkness meet
Elly Apr 2020
you keep on coming back to her
to convince yourself that
you still feel,
you still hurt,
you still love,
that everything could still work out

but that's not love
if you're the only who's still holding
don't hang on to that
Elly Apr 2020
Do you still remember how we used to be?
Laughing and laughing beneath the sea
The thought of us being forever
I didn't realize that it was going to be over
Everytime my love for you grew
Now I realize, all of it wasn't true
Yet you realize that you're late
Well I'm sorry, but my feelings already fade
Elly Apr 2020
You are my beautiful nightmare
in this world full of daydream.
You're a piece of art
that I'll never understand.

You're my prince charming
in this world I never imagine.
Until I grew up,
and I realized things ***** up.

Bad guys don't wear black capes,
they actually have a pretty face.
They will make you fall in love,
and a heartbreak you never had.
Elly Apr 2020
when I first met you
you were nothing but another face
not until it became my favorite

i can still remember the day
i've seen you in the hallway
thinking what i would want to say

it's you that i really adore
and still wanting for more
how I wish I was the one you're looking for
Elly Apr 2020
may your smile turned into laughter
in this world of confusion
the clarity of your heart
that is filled with love
will lead you to a brighter place

in the midst of sorrow
may the light that came from darkness
surrounds at your flower of hope
and the tears you would shed
will bloom its way through your pain
Elly Apr 2020
how many times do i have to break
before i give up?
how much pain do i have to endure
before i raise the white flag

you were my dream
but i had a wake up call

i could keep saying one more
one more...
just one more
but when does it end?
Elly Apr 2020
they hated her so much, to the point where she also hates herself.
Elly Apr 2020
Ikaw yung mangga at ako ang bagoong
pero asin ang gusto mo
Ikaw yung papel at ako ang ballpen
pero lapis ang hanap mo
Ikaw yung medyas at ako ang sapatos
pero tsinelas ang kailangan mo

Ikaw yung mahal ko at ako ang nandito
pero siya ang mahal mo

Ngayon at okay na ako..

Ako na yung bagoong na kayang ipares sa iba na gugustuhin ako

Ako na yung ballpen na pang permanate na hindi na muling ipagpapalit pa

Ako na yung sapatos na mamahalin at kakailangan ng iba

Ako na yung tapos na sa'yo at kaya nang mahalin ang sarili nang higit pa
Elly Apr 2020
nakikita ko ang pinaghalong sakit at galit sa kanyang mga mata, “nasaan ka nuong kailangan kita?”

nanlalabo na ang mga mata ko dahil sa mga namumuong luha na nagbabadyang bumagsak, “nuong panahong kailangan mo ako, kailangan ko rin ang sarili ko..”
Elly Apr 2020
‪huwag ka masiyadong lumapit at baka ika'y aking maging permanente tulad ng tinta na dadaloy sa pagbaybay ko sa iyong pangalan‬ na para bang ito ang pinaka paborito kong talinghaga sa bawat tula na aking ililikha na ikaw lamang ang paksa
Elly Apr 2020
I always wonder what would death will feel like?
How it feels like to slowly fade away from this world
Thinking what would happen next
And hoping everything would stop from aching

Do you just wanna disappear from this world?
And you just want to run away from everything
We all can **** ourselves in just a blink of an eye
Make everything vanish from what it used to be

You can **** yourself but that doesn't mean you have to stop living
You can **** your old you and start a new life
Always remember that an end has always a new beginning
And maybe that what life after death means
Elly Apr 2020
When I was a kid,
I used to believe
life's a beautiful thing.
then I realized, it was too hard to me.

I believed in lies,
I remember that life's a full of surprise.
My life turned upside down
and I'm nowhere to be found.

In the middle of the night,
when everything's not right.
Wanting this to be over
because I can't stay like this forever.

Craving for love,
as I thought it was enough.
I'm still wanting for more
and I don't know what I'm looking for

In the sea of different places,
in a world of blurry faces,
at the edge of insanity
I found myself.

I found something more,
It's actually me that I'm looking for
but I'm still trying,
still trying to find my way
Elly Apr 2020
'Yung mga blangkong pahina na unti-unting nauubos dahil sa derederetsong pagsusulat na para bang inuubos lahat ng mga nararamdaman na umaapaw at tanging pagsusulat lang ang tanging takbuhan, ang nag-iisang tahanan sa tuwing ang hirap na kayanin nang lahat. Sa tuwing nauubos ka na ng mundo at kung minsan ay pinupuno ka naman. Sana patuloy ka lang magsulat, patuloy lang ang apoy na mainit na nagtutulak sa'yo na magsulat lang nang magsulat. Na isulat lang lahat ng maaari **** maisip at maramdaman. Isa itong biyaya, isa kang biyaya. Boses ka ng puso **** hindi makapag salita. Boses ka ng mga tao na hindi maipaliwanag ang bawat nadarama sa bawat sitwasyon na hinarahap. Naniniwala ako sa'yo at sa kakahayan mo. Magpatuloy ka lang.
Elly Apr 2020
maybe you'll love me
and of course i did love you

but the problem is just like the tenses i used above
we never did..
at the same time
Elly Apr 2020
Minsan ko nang nakita ang mga ngiti mo sa labi, na siyang minsan na rin akong naging dahilan
Minsan na rin akong nalunod sa iyong mapungay na mga mata, na siyang hindi ko sigurado kung ako’y nakaahon na ba
Minsan ko na ring nahawakan ang iyong mga kamay, na siyang ka’y higpit na para bang ito ang iyong paboritong laruan
At minsan ko na ring narasanan ang mahagkan gamit ang iyong mga bisig, na para bang natatakot na ako’y mawawala.

Alam mo ba kung ano ang pinaka paborito kong minsan?

Ang mahalikan mo gamit ang iyong mapula at malambot na labi na siyang paulit-ulit akong nadampian sa iba’t ibang parte ng aking mukha.

Minsan.

Kung iisipin ay nakakatakot dahil ang lahat ng mga bagay na masasaya ay nauuwi sa minsan. Yung minsan na hindi sigurado kung uulit pa ba, o yung minsan ba magiging madalas na?

Ngunit sa minsan kong karanasan sa piling mo. Ako ay lubos na naging masaya. Lubos na nagkaroon nang pag-asa na minsan ko na itong naramdaman, at siguradong darating din ang bukas na maaaring maging madalas na, yung sigurado na akong hindi magwawakas.
Elly Apr 2020
was i the night sky not worth it to be looked at
or
you were just so scared of the dark, you chose her instead
Elly Apr 2020
Mga katagang binitawan mo nung mga panahong umaasa ka pa..

"Parang mahal niya rin naman ako"
"Parang gusto niya rin ako"
"Parang meron eh"
"Parang may kami"

Parang. Oo parang, yung walang kasiguraduhan? Yung walang patutunguhan. Yung wala talagang kayo. Oo yung ikaw at siya.

Yung katagang 'tayo' na pinanghawakan mo na wala naman talaga umpisa palang. Yung pinaglaban mo ng ikaw lang ang sumugod ng walang kasiguraduhan kung mananalo ka ba o uuwi ka ng luhaan.

Dahil sinubukan mo. Sumubok ka kung baka sakali, baka sakaling mayroon. Yung akala mo may pag asa. Nag akala ka. Umasa ka. Nag baka sakali ka.

Ayun nga lang ang pagkakamali mo.
Elly Apr 2020
mga ilaw sa gusali habang sari-saring tunog ng iba't ibang mga sasakyan (dyip, motor, at kotse). pero ang pinaka paborito ko ay 'yung sa tuwing titingala ako nandiyan ang buwan. tapos may mga eroplano na may kanya-kanyang direksyon. 'yung kada lingon mo habang nakatingala ka mayroong eroplano na paalis o kaya naman pauwi na. tapos ngingitian ko sila na para bang nakikita nila ako at bubulong ng "mag-iingat kayo."
Elly Apr 2020
Isang saranggolang nasa himpapawid
at tila'y iyong puso ay kanyang tinawid
kanyang hatid ay puno lamang ng saya
walang ibang hangad kundi ang magpaligaya

Siya'y makulay at tila puno ng buhay
nagbibigay ng pag-asa sa bawat isa
Na sila'y makakakita muli ng ligaya
sa pamamagitan ng kulay na kanyang pinagsama-sama

Isang saranggola na siyang makulay
binibigyang kahulugan ang bawat buhay
pag-asa na kanyang binibigay
kaya't puno ng pag-ibig ang kanyang inaalay

Sa kanyang paglipad sa himpapawid
mag-iiwan ng isang mensahe
na ika'y magsilbing pag-asa
sa mundong hindi na natin mabasa
Elly Apr 2020
the love that you will find within yourself will forever be yours. it will never fade nor go away. it will stay with you, it will always choose you.
Elly Apr 2020
You don’t know me, at all.
But I do know some little things about you, just some sort of things that a random person will know.
Let me start at this..

That moment you smiled at me
I didn’t felt anything special, I just like the way you smiled like you were showing me how it feels like to be alive. And I, myself, want to see more of that from you. It doesn’t necessarily mean that it has to be for me but for you. I want you to keep going; to keep moving forward. This letter is more likely to remind you that people like me loved the way you smile, so I’m hoping you’d do more of that. More of smiles, smiles that will ensure us people especially those who are very close to you that you are okay, that everything is going to be okay. Always remember that you are worthy of everything the world has to offer.

I may not know everything, but know that I believe in you. Always am, always will.
Elly Apr 2020
I just hope that someday, someone will wipe all your tears away. Someone who will make you feel okay again, make you feel like you’ve never been lost at all. Someone who will hug you and all your broken pieces. Someone who will accept you, your past, and who you are right now. Someone who will understand where you’re coming from. Someone who will love you wholeheartedly and your flaws will never be a burden. Someone who understands, someone who will never leave you especially when you’re at your battlefield every midnight. Someone who listens, someone who you can share your thoughts with. Someone who will look at you like you’re his/her world. Someone who will appreciate you, who is proud of you. And lastly someone who you can be with at the end of the aisle exchanging your vows.
Elly Apr 2020
habang ikinakawing ko ang aking mga daliri unti-unti rin nitong napupunan ang bawat patlang sa pagitan ng aking mga daliri, naisip ko kung bakit patuloy akong nagsusulat. nagsusulat ako na para bang pinupunan nito lahat ng patlang na aking nararamdaman. umaasa na sa paraang ito kahit papaano, kahit kaunti mabawasan lahat ng halu-halong emosyon. na tulad ng mga kamay na ikinawing ay mas magiging matibay ito, hindi madaling paghiwalayin. na para bang kinukuha ko ang lakas sa mga kataga na binibitawan ko at pinupunan ang bawat butas na para bang kailan man hindi ito nagkaroon ng kakulangan o guwang. nagsisilbing bakas bilang patunay na, "kaya ko" o kadalasan ay, "okay lang ako"
Elly Apr 2020
i will forever thank the universe how you entered my life, even my heart. like how i always say to you, you are one of the biggest blessing i had ever receive.. as my first

if i could love you this much
and this long?
oh surely

i could also love someone else more
much better
and much longer..
Elly Apr 2020
Kwentuhan mo naman ako.

Kahit na saglit lang, kahit ilang minuto lang. Pag usapan naman natin ang pag ibig nating tila'y tinapos mo agad ng hindi pa natin nasisimulan. Pag ibig na hindi mo binigyan ng pagkakataong mag simula. Ang pag ibig na pilit kong binubuo ngunit pilit **** winawasak.

Ikuwento mo kung paano ka niya ipinagtulakan at
Ikukwento ko kung paano kita hinabol
Ikuwento mo kung paano mo siya binalikan at
Ikukwento ko kung paano kita hinintay

Ikuwento mo kung gaano mo siya kamahal at ikukwento ko kung paano ako nag pakatanga. Ikuwento mo saakin kung bakit siya pa rin ang pinili mo kahit na ako naman 'tong nandito. Ikuwento mo saakin lahat kung ano ang dahilan kung bakit ako nasasaktan para naman makuwento ko na kung paano kita bibitawan.

Sa huling sandali, ikuwento mo saakin kung gaano ka kasaya at sasabihin ko sa'yo ang katagang "ayoko na".

At ikukwento ko dito kung paano ako nagpapakatanga sa pag ibig na alam kong hindi naman mahalaga.
Elly Apr 2020
here's the truth
i'm scared.
that i might not be what he really wanted
that he'd realize that he doesn't love nor like me
that i'm actially just a plain canvas
an empty hallway
messed up
and not enough

because i want him to see that i'm more than just what he sees 'cause he knows how much i don't like what i'm already seeing.
Elly Apr 2020
you deserve someone who knew your worth ever since the beginning than someone who barely knew it until you were gone
Elly Apr 2020
Do you ever had that feeling where in you're both feeling lonely and contented at the same time?

I do.

I actually neved regret leaving the old me and actually starting to a new self. But then I realize, I just left the people who are responsible of the pain that I’m feeling and not the ‘old me’. The old me who’s always happy in the morning and messed up at night.

Everything just keeps on coming back and everytime it comes back, I’d remind myself that I want to make everything worth it and hopefully someday I could finally face eveything with a real, genuine smile on my face.

— The End —