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Eliza Sep 16
I know what we'll do!
We'll get a canoe
The further out we go...
Eliza Sep 13
I know you are trying
He says I'm trying
He says sorry
He says I'm trying you know
I'm doing what I can
And I look in the mirror
And I say to myself
Why do I feel I am asking
For a lot
Why do I feel inside that
My heart is heavy
That I am making him feel
He has to tell me
He is trying
It is true but I don't want it to be
That you are trying
And I am listening
Over and over
After all no matter what
It's a soft kind of comfort
When no one is proving
Who they are or that
They are trying
Isn't it supposed to be easy
No but isn't supposed to be fun?
And yet I sleep with his shorts
Next to me so I feel close by
To his sleeping heart
And I'm still here thinking of him
I need to prepare for it all
For all endings
For the ending that ends
And for the ending where we
Are hand in hand
It all feels just as scary
With or without him trying
Eliza Sep 13
It's having paint on your phone
Having thousands of ideas
That have yet to come to fruition
Having those ideas evolve daily
And no where to store them
Other than your mind
It's problem solving then forgetting
Before writing it all down
It's grabbing a pen to draw
On a napkin at 2am
It's carrying on with life
To be reminded months later
To see with greatness
To see with imagination
And expectation adding weight
And pressure of productivity
When it's not being worked on
It's to feel responsibility
To create even though we
Find things hard to express
It's feeling you know
More than you show
It's living with half finished
Projects and full frustration
It's hiding, it's demanding
It's freeing and trapping
It's going for it anyway
Following the idea until it
Becomes something else
It's never feeling finished
It's always ongoing
It's to be alive and kicking
Eliza Sep 13
It's between us
But from both sides
We have different
Human minds
I don't know
What it's like to be you
I can't imagine
I long to know
Without the barrier
How would I love you
Eliza Sep 13
I miss smoking
Almost in the same way
I miss Amy sing
And Mac Miller
Light up a room
Where did they go
Deep detachment
Of songs unwritten
Powerful lyrics
Being sober
I'm hearing them
I value life more
Ignorance to pain
Is ignorance to peace
You can't take one
Without the other
Everything is alarming
And loud
But I am surviving
Using my third eye
As my guide
Naive enough to think
It's all coming together
Eliza Sep 11
Restless heart
Wide eyed consciousness
Deep disappointment
Expectations overflowing
My mind is self sabotaging
Or is it self protection
An inability to know
The striking difference
Once upon a time
Overcoming addiction
Befriending insomnia
Is the entitled part
Of your mind
Saying it craves
More stimulation
Hello again
The same fear
The same pain
I know how to see
What I don't want
But life is testing me
I don't know yet
How to let go
When my soul is
Is it my fault
Is it others actions
Or do I need
A different set of questions
To stimulate my mind
**** is half hearted
**** is not golden
Like the darkness of reality
Can be
My heart wants to suffer
My soul knows to keep trying
Until I am able
To say proudly
I am responsible for my mind
Eliza Sep 9
Accept yourself
And all that you are
I just met a doctor
He came with a cure
It was simply to
'Accept who you are'
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