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I tell myself its over.
That in a few months it won’t matter,
That this physical distance could somehow cure my pain.

But you hold me close.
Whisper empty words in my ear,
Use me once again to fulfill your lustful desires.

Then I’m invisible.
Breaking promises is your game,
Toss me aside to make room for the next player.

Now my heart is stone.
Numb to all feeling is my façade.
No one will ever damage me quite like you.
Thick as mud
Pouring from my soul
******* tainted blood

Don't you smell the fear
Coursing within me
Causing me to tear

All these monsters who rule
Shove me past the brink
With words for broken tools

One day you'll see
Within dark dreams that
This world is not for me.
In the midst of reprimanding my clumsiness, I suddenly fell captive to the enchanting beauty of the falling speckles of reflective light. Gracefully they swayed like iridescent snowflakes on a serene winter morning. I stood mesmerized by the overwhelming splendor before my eyes and unaware of the mess I had just created. In the blink of an eye, mistakenly spilling a tube of glitter transformed into a spellbinding experience of aesthetic appreciation.
Thunderstorms still scare me,
so uncontrollable and startling. I like to lock me door against the rain and keep my light turned on, remembering all those times I silently held on to my mom, her warm arms shielding me from the danger so recently discovered in the word "alone".

I am still just one little girl
wishing she could run in to someone's arms for refuge from the storm.
It's raging just inside my walls,
beating against my heart and raining woes, searching for a warmth to call my own.

So arms are discovered,
found infinitely large and never abandoning, inviting me in to stay and share a dream with Him,
to have my heart beat
beat with Him.

I'm watching the fear of "alone" disappear.
Pretension, oh beloved actor, why do you do?

Conceal, do not reveal, the twisted grimace upon your face

While you smile the smile like a mime, benevolent, kindly, my dear angel

Upon the stage, where the spotlight makes you glow, makes you look pure

You begin to believe that you have a pure heart, and that you can’t do any evil

Even when the curtain closes, and the lights fade out, and you step offstage

You forget that your rosy makeup still remains

When you wipe off the layers caked upon your face

Do you know when to stop, do you know when you’ve reached the real you?

You pretend you don’t care when you actually do, for fear, perhaps?

Or you pretend you actually do care, when you really couldn’t be bothered – why that?

Pretend, deny the real you, ‘tis but the only way to survive, is it not

— The End —