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28.9k · Jan 2014
flirting
eliza bonnet Jan 2014
conversations run dry
not wanting it to end
but endings are inevitable

you can only talk about something for so long
before the jokes are no longer funny
and the punch line is over used

forcing it to run on makes it awkward
and causes anxiety

but conversations run dry
not wanting it to end
but endings are inevitable
27.7k · Apr 2014
rich bitch
eliza bonnet Apr 2014
she's nothing but a rich
entitled *****
we all love to hate

she's never gonna change
no matter what they say
because thats who she is

its never anything you did
more about her problems within
you have to understand

this girl has the world in her hands
but she can't find that chance
to just move on

she's nothing but a rich
entitled *****
we all love to hate
19.0k · Jan 2014
miss suicide
eliza bonnet Jan 2014
i dont care what you said so long ago
i never knew you
the secrets
you could of fooled anyone
and no one would notice

you stayed alone
but you were loved by everyone
and you didnt know this

you were pretty
and funny too
a cheer to the world
was signed by you

before you died
and passed away
you broke my heart
and i had nothing to say
to you

miss suicide
suicide
miss suicide

you smile big
and fix your hair
no one knew the truth
they wouldnt dare

no one knew
who you
turned out to be

turned out to be

i dont care what you said so long ago
you couldnt love you

miss suicide
suicide
miss suicide

you go to school everyday
you knew your plan
and knew you couldnt say

youd walk home alone that night
and do the deed
for the hopes
you could finally sleep tight

miss suicide
suicide
miss suicide

when they made fun of your kind
you would just laugh along
but inside you knew you were gonna die
"so just hold on"
youd say

miss suicide
breathe in
just one last time
16.8k · Jun 2014
Insanity
eliza bonnet Jun 2014
The hospital lights flicker across the street
The room is foggy but if I close my eyes I can feel you here with me
I try to stay awake because reality has become my dream
It took me years to realize things are what they seem
Put your face close to mine and I'll help you see
This worlds insanity
eliza bonnet Mar 2014
we won't forget
we can't forget
all that has happened

we won't forget
we can't forget
the days we abandoned

we won't forget
we can't forget
how our once bright light blackened

we won't forget
we can't forget
the feelings we felt, left alone, saddened

we won't forget
we can't forget
all that has happened
eliza bonnet Feb 2014
lies lies lies
they won't stop running through my mind

lies lies lies
convincing everyone I'm fine

lies lies lies
they happen time after time

lies lies lies
and all i can say is i apologize

lies lies lies
they are all thats left inside
11.4k · May 2014
alcohol
eliza bonnet May 2014
the tranquil perception
my conscious erased
all the thoughts in my mind
are slowly replaced

until my mind becomes absent
alongside all else
and no one else matters
except for myself

this is why
teenagers
Need
alcohol
11.0k · Apr 2014
amazing
eliza bonnet Apr 2014
i lost my first tooth like a champion
and when i hit 3 feet, it was unlike anything anyone had ever seen

by the time third grade had started
no one could believe how old i had gotten

braces looked better on me than anyone else
and my worst day was everyone else's best

my A in english was more impressive than everyone else's
and my paper was worth more

because i was nothing short of
amazing
7.5k · Apr 2014
im not that strong
eliza bonnet Apr 2014
i hate the way we love each other
wasting all our time pushing one another
until the day we break
and the days spent contemplating
on whether
we should still be together
or finally move on

sadly im not that strong
7.5k · Apr 2014
Frozen
eliza bonnet Apr 2014
I'm so sick of counting all the minutes as I continue to go no where
Frozen
Retracting my steps
Moment by moment in my head

What Ifs
Will never go away
But i want nothing more
than to leave this place
6.7k · Mar 2014
conspiracy against me
eliza bonnet Mar 2014
whisper softly so i can't hear
walk away quickly when i begin to walk near
rip me off like a bandaid, i just can't bare
what you are doing to me anymore

please tell me
about this conspiracy
against me

way to be discreet
you had me believe
this relationship was concrete

i love the feeling when you walk away
just as my mouth opens and i begin to say
exactly how much you mean to me

and how when I'm all alone
you never stopped to think maybe she knows
but you kept pretending we were close

please tell me
about this conspiracy
against me
6.5k · Jan 2014
labels
eliza bonnet Jan 2014
Ive never liked labels
Prep, ****, goth, *****, *****, ***,
and then there was me
A mix of all of them.

I was over confident,
yet self conscious,
I loved lilly pulitzer
and still my celebrity crush was the lead singer of a post ******* scream band
I was sweet and sympathetic
but a ***** when I wanted to be
and lastly, I was a slutty drunk
but what people didn't know was that I worried about being gay

So what I don't understand is how a label can define someone
when every label out there defined me.

But maybe that wasn't true.
Maybe the fact that every label defined me,
made me original.
A one of a kind.
I guess part of me liked that,
but at the same time I just wanted to fit in.
Not to be a one of a kind who can relate to no one
yet everyone at the same time
6.1k · Apr 2014
feel my feelings
eliza bonnet Apr 2014
the emotion dripped out my eyes
like medicine drips in an I.V.
and i felt like a girl
like a helpless pathetic girl

you can't relate to feelings
unless you've felt them
and most people haven't felt
all that i have felt
4.2k · Apr 2014
ashamed
eliza bonnet Apr 2014
we shut the closet door slowly
laughing because the alcohol has yet to wear off
i stand on the tips of my toes
trying to give you one last kiss before i escape
we know we shouldn't be there
or doing this
but alcohol has no limits
no judgment
i start to laugh as you unbutton your pants
positive its a joke
a funny one
the zipper slides down
piece by piece
my smile fades
and i look at you
ashamed
and the slowly
i get on my knees
and the door stays locked
just a little longer
eliza bonnet Apr 2014
reminiscing has brought us here
for i thought this relationship
could never be repaired

but when you look back
and you close your eyes
i see the real you
no disguise

but fast forward
just a few years
and here we are
full of fear

theres a difference between a father and a dad
ones good
and ones bad

i think you know
which one you are
and if you don't
remember all of these scars

but somehow reminiscing has brought us here
for i thought this relationship
could never be repaired
3.9k · Sep 2014
proud to be hers
eliza bonnet Sep 2014
she was strong
stronger than you could ever imagine
she was beautiful
unbelievably beautiful

she survived cancer
when no one thought she could

i was little when she was diagnosed
i remember she had lost her hair
she looked at me and said
"is it bad?"
and then she smiled

i didn't need to answer
she already knew

I heard stories about my grandfather
that would **** her if she knew i knew
no matter how he treated her
she wanted us to look up to him
because thats who she is
forgiving

she made mistakes
like all of us
coming from an alcoholics daughter
to "the kennedy's of kansas" is something no one can do
no one but her

she overcame a lot

when she married her 3rd husband
her right husband
he got cancer
and he died

she kissed him
patted him
and said,
"I finally got it right, and he died on me"

she had tears in her eyes
something rare

after she mourned
she had one last chance to make it right
to prove to her kids
all men weren't bad
and she did

she met warner
3 months later
she got cancer
and she said "boy you've done it now. you are stuck, if you leave me you will always be known as the ******* who left eleanor when she needed you." she smiled, and he watched her carefully
then she said, "here is a list of errands i need you to run"
she lived
he stayed
14 years later
they are still together
and she is stronger than ever
3.8k · May 2014
please understand
eliza bonnet May 2014
when is say i hate him
I'm really saying i miss you
and we don't make eye contact in the hallway
because it causes me more pain than you
and when i say he's changed
I'm really saying
how did i let you go
3.7k · May 2014
Friends
eliza bonnet May 2014
Friends
Water dripping
Ocean waves ripping
The tide pulling in
Friends
Inevitable ends
3.5k · Dec 2013
the class whore
eliza bonnet Dec 2013
her mini skirt covers just over half her ***
her spiked red stilettos elongate her legs
her netted crop top shows off her recently pierced belly button

she wears a high pony tail to show the nape of her neck
heavy gold earrings to make her ice blue eyes pop
bright red lipstick so her smile becomes iridescent
and a long necklace with a heart pendent right where her cleavage begins

she struts around the streets
over confident
she lays on the public bathroom floor
with tears staining her face

people laugh and call her names
guys are interested
for a limited amount of time
thats how it always goes

girls never fully accepted her
so she turned to guys
that was her only option
i mean it had to be

but the girls who stare and point
are jealous
and for some reason
the class ****
makes them insecure

so one by one
each girls tries to pull her down

in public she doesn't let it affect her
she laughs with them, smiles when they cringe
but alone
when no one is around

piece by piece she tears herself down

but don't worry
because she's just the ****
as if an article of clothing has enough power to dehumanize her

"you
      are
            just
               a
                 worthless
                                 *****"
she would whisper to herself
as she slowly fell to the ground
in defeat
3.2k · Apr 2014
alcoholic
eliza bonnet Apr 2014
theres a story at the bottom of his bottle
screaming to pour out
but can't

the liquor stings his throat
as it trickles down
and faster
faster
faster

hes screaming for help
through his bloodshot eyes
but no one is listening
or looking close enough to know

he just needs somebody to know
that theres a story at the bottom of his bottle
waiting to be poured out
3.2k · Jan 2014
help
2.9k · Jun 2014
my speech can't change you
eliza bonnet Jun 2014
i had this speech written out in my head
memorized it cover to cover
i planned my ****** expressions
thought about your possible responses
i was going to confront you
tell you about how fed up i was
and who knows if i would ever get the guts to follow through
it has nothing to do with me being scared of you
but more about whether or not its worth it

and its not
if you don't like me
then you don't like me
you are fake
and mean
yet funny
and i love you no matter what
but i hate you
and you hate me
but you waste your time
pretending to be friends
and even if i say this speech
and i am finally treated right
you will always be fake and mean
it may show in different ways
but one speech
that i have memorized
cover to cover
can't change you
nothing can
2.9k · Apr 2014
what you're hiding behind
eliza bonnet Apr 2014
i find it funny how much you need to hide
and i find it sad, all that you're hiding behind

you're the *****
im to fear
and you're the snitch
im afraid to be near

are you innocent
in all of this

or am i right
for everyone knows
what you're hiding behind
2.8k · Dec 2014
fake
eliza bonnet Dec 2014
you make it so hard
for me to feel like myself around you
you try so hard to be perfect
but i know its not real
ill never know if you like me
or just the part about the money
you can flip your hair, and fake the smile
lie to us but it gets old after awhile

you can either sink or swim
im just diving in
trying so hard to get past
the people who like that, fake smiling it
breaking my heart
changing who you are, but it doesnt matter
does it?
no not to you, at least not anymore
im just breathing in, trying so hard to forget
who i used to be, so maybe people like you will like me

well you win the war and get the crown
i guess everything for you
will just start to pan out

just breathe in slowly
and never forget who you used to be
for the girls who pretended
when really they are just wanna be’s

you can either sink or swim
im just diving in
trying so hard to get past
the people who like that, fake smiling it
breaking my heart
changing who you are, but it doesnt matter
does it?
no it doesnt matter does it
2.8k · Jun 2014
"Just friends"
eliza bonnet Jun 2014
Just friends we promised
Nothing more
The kisses didn't count if no one knew
The sneaking out, worthless as long as it stayed between us
For we were just
Friends
2.7k · Mar 2014
fate
eliza bonnet Mar 2014
mommy wasn't pleased
with all he turned out to be
so she shut him out

and daddy wasn't home
long enough to know
all that was going on

so day by day
he withered away
until there was nothing left

and no one cared
about how scared
was this poor little boy

and people denied
that he ever cried
because only girls get depressed

and pressures kept coming
so he started cutting
and then one day he died

no one knows
if he did it on his own
or was it just

fate
2.6k · Jul 2014
dramatic
eliza bonnet Jul 2014
so what if i was dramatic
that doesn't mean that i didn't feel that way
you met me right around the time my dad broke my heart
he was everything to me
and he broke my heart
and you got to sit back and watch
without knowing me
and I'm sorry if that is all i talked about
but you were my best friend
who else was i supposed to go to?
supposed to trust?
apparently anyone else would have been a better choice
I'm sorry things ended the way they did
but please
never call me dramatic again
2.3k · Nov 2014
words can cut you open
eliza bonnet Nov 2014
words can be like knives
they can cut you open

don't let them be your demise
show them you are still hoping

words have taken lives
leaving families coping

words can be like knives
they can cut you open
2.3k · Jul 2014
only gains weight
eliza bonnet Jul 2014
i hate my ******* body
more than i hate myself
i hate the way my scale lies
the number starts to go down
only to go right back up
i hate how i am never on the same page
with my body
starving only gains weight
eating only gains weight
exercise only gains weight
therefore
i hate my ******* body
eliza bonnet Mar 2014
fifteen and afraid of where she's going
nothing concrete in her life

fifteen and can feel the doors closing
still unaware of wrong from right

nothing guaranteed
nothing promised
fearing the truth
is just short of honest

what is this life
and why do we care
for everyone knows
nothing is fair

so why am i
fifteen and afraid of where I'm going
i can already feel my throat closing
2.3k · Feb 2014
the day i realized; gay
eliza bonnet Feb 2014
that was the moment i realized
that was the moment it finally made sense
that was the moment

the reason you were always so defensive
and always got upset when a girl broke his heart
wasn't because you were a loyal friend
but because you loved him

its okay, you know
a republican boy being gay
its okay

you don't have to get upset
but when i heard you yelling and screaming
about how **** shaming is unreasonable
while screaming about the last ***** he fell in love with
while you were yelling and screaming
i knew

my ****** expression changed
everything changed
that was the moment i realized
2.2k · Feb 2017
"friends with benefits"
eliza bonnet Feb 2017
The kisses didn’t count
If no one else knew
I believed you when you said
This love was only for me and you

Things were lost
That I didn’t mean to lose
I was so addicted to you
It felt like my choice to choose

Blinded by lust
I never knew what to feel
There had to be something there
That convinced me it was real

Being your secret
Was hardly a concern
I learned the hard way
My feelings couldn’t be returned
2.2k · Mar 2014
exclusion
eliza bonnet Mar 2014
exclusion
is it some kind of delusion
caused by paranoia

or is it real
forcing you to feel
less than

hearing about things
ashamed
because no one wanted you there

or is it just confusion
2.1k · Mar 2014
The voice in my head
eliza bonnet Mar 2014
I can't stop running
I don't want to stay
Following my dreams
But they seem so far away

You keep trying to pull me down
But it won't work
You keep hurting me
How can you be so sure

You're like a bad dream
That just won't go away
Leave me the **** alone
Don't you get that you can't stay

You're not welcomed
In my mind any longer
Leave now
When will you realize you're only making me stronger
2.1k · Feb 2017
bulimia
eliza bonnet Feb 2017
teeth rotting
heart rate falling
mom calling
hair knotting
alone bawling
sickness calming
disease appalling
depression causing
2.0k · Feb 2014
caretaker of the underworld
eliza bonnet Feb 2014
i was sent to extinguish the burning flames of hell
the flames that always have burned
and always will

was i sent because i have sinned
or because i have hurt
or deceived

the flames engulf my smoldering body
as i slowly fall down

forever now the caretaker of the underworld
2.0k · Jan 2014
my bio
eliza bonnet Jan 2014
my bio is my description
my bio is supposed to be a shortened version of who i am and what i stand for
my bio is supposed to be a sentence or two describing me

but i am complicated
and my feelings are constantly mixed and confused

so if i gave you a sentence describing me
it would all be a lie
because words could never describe me
and in this case
words could never be enough
2.0k · May 2014
we were the misfits
eliza bonnet May 2014
she walked  by slowly
it was her last prom
and as she walked by
i saw the scars that covered her arms
and then i thought of mine
and the girl's next to me
i turned my head
making sure to make eye contact with each person in the room

we were the misfits
the ones who felt like we didn't have a place
we were the ones who went to prom sober
we were the ones who weren't invited to any after parties
we were the ones no one wanted
the left overs and the scraps
and no one said one bad thing about another in that room
because we all know how it feels to be victimized
to feel trapped

we were the misfits
who found a place
and that place
still wasn't good enough
to pull us out of our
eternal sadness
2.0k · Mar 2014
do you ever think of me
eliza bonnet Mar 2014
do you ever think of me
and unforgettable moments
of how we used to be

or did i just fade away
like ink on paper
or the scars on my skin

as if the moment i was gone
the memories left with me
the feelings and emotions we felt
mean nothing now

like none of it matters anymore

or do you still think of me
remembering our unforgettable moments
of who we used to be
eliza bonnet Jun 2014
I'm so sick of assumptions
Because I don't have straight As
I won't make it in life
I'm dumb
Stupid
Worthless
My IQ is high
I understand people
Pick up on things quickly
But because I can't focus in class
It's all for nothing
Brilliance isn't measured by tests and essays
I've tried to learn in that enviorment
Tried to pay attention
I can't
"Everyone is a genius but if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb, it will spend it's whole life thinking it's stupid"
eliza bonnet Aug 2014
I think about it a lot.
What we used to be like
I guess part of me thinks that if it spends that much time occupying my mind
That it will just reappear
Our friendship that is

It's taken me a year to realize that we are just strangers
Who happen to share the same memories
1.8k · Apr 2014
fade away with me
eliza bonnet Apr 2014
feel what we can't
say what you mean
im afraid that one day we will all wake up
from what we know now as a dream

people change everyday
dreams slowly fade away
as we become who we said we'd never be

but please
hold my hand
and fade away
with me
1.7k · Mar 2014
if love
eliza bonnet Mar 2014
if love is desire
then you are all i need

if love doesn't expire
then i feel relived

if love something you admire
consider me intrigued

if love starts to retire
i have been deceived

for i thought
our love could inspire
but it is time i accepted defeat
1.7k · Jan 2014
every time
eliza bonnet Jan 2014
I've tried to reminisce
nostalgia saved the *****
but it no longer has the same effect

like we've over used the memories
like the years we spent as best friends were all pointless now

and i try to pretend like i don't see the looks exchanged when i speak
and i try to stare at the wall and bite my tongue when the tears want to come
and i try to go to the bathroom as much as possible
because i don't want anyone to know how much this whole solitary thing has hurt me

i try to laugh at jokes i know I'm not part of
and i try to act surprised when i hear stories about parties my best friends threw…without me
and i try to pretend like i don't care

but every time they laugh without me
and every time i hear a story that i will never be part of
and every time i hold my breath and keep my thoughts to myself

i stop standing so tall
and the lower and lower my shoulders fall
until there is
nothing
left for them to take
1.7k · Oct 2014
rage and hate
eliza bonnet Oct 2014
in the sea of love
I soaked in shadows
in the world above
I dug my graves
because thats just me
alone and afraid
full of hate
and full of rage
1.7k · Oct 2014
and it sucked
eliza bonnet Oct 2014
I am back to where I can smile when I see you
back to where I can laugh at something you say
and thats what I wanted
all this time
I wanted closure

And I don't miss it
and surprisingly
it *****

I was hoping some part of me would fight for us back
or maybe us finally talking again would remind at least one of us what it was like
how much fun we had

but we just didn't click anymore
it wasn't like we were soul mates
it was like you weren't even the same person

and that ******
1.6k · Mar 2014
medusa
eliza bonnet Mar 2014
eye contact avoided
feeling like medusa
lying about get togethers
sick of this exclusion

is it really possible
to be hated by everyone
1.5k · Jan 2014
the no food diet
eliza bonnet Jan 2014
The no food diet.
The diet when you stare at food
and you think about food
and your mouth begins to water

but
you deprive yourself of the spoils that food brings.

You think that your reflection in the mirror is more important.
And maybe it is,
maybe looking better is more important than that chocolate chip cookie.

But your organs shutting down
and your bones popping out,
is that worth it?

No, Nothing is worth that.
Nothing is worse than being so miserable that you can't bring yourself to eat.

It stops being a restrictive diet and it becomes a war,
a war with yourself.
Maybe if you had just eaten that chocolate chip cookie,
just maybe you wouldn't have this life-long battle.
1.5k · Mar 2014
Guarded
eliza bonnet Mar 2014
I fear the day we won't be together
So i put my feelings in a box
And I'll keep them there forever

And people say I put my walls up too high
But to me that means no pain for the rest of my life

Watching others fall in love is hard
But it doesn't matter because of this deathly fear of being broken and scarred

I know that we will never stay together
So I put my feelings in a box
And I'll keep them there forever
1.5k · May 2014
mass murder
eliza bonnet May 2014
a gun shot
people dead
silence is what we fear
for we know its what kills us
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